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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Re DH's friends wedding

999 replies

Juno77 · 26/01/2014 17:42

DH friend is getting married later in the year. DH is the best man. I am due to give birth 6 weeks prior to the wedding.

DH is going away on stag weekend (abroad) when child is 3 weeks old. I don't mind this, but it is a factor in my current annoyance.

Wedding is in a really fancy hotel, about 50 miles from where we live. We aren't planning to bring the children anyway.

We were planning to stay 2 nights in fancy hotel, as DH has plans with the groom and other friends the day/evening before. I was happily going to relax in the hotel, maybe go to the spa, go for a nice walk, just relax child free. Spend the night together, and wake up on the morning of the wedding and take my time getting ready, relaxing breakfast by myself etc.

DH friend has now told him he's booked them a room for the night before (along with a third friend). So, DH is staying the night before, and I will just have to sort myself out in the morning and make my own way to the hotel, already dressed for the wedding (as check in is too late to get ready there).

I'm pissed off. AIBU? And if so, should I be pissed with DH? Is it really his fault? Should he say no, or should we be more accommodating to the plans of the groom?

For the purposes of not drip feeding;

  1. It's over £200 a night so I don't want to spend that on a room for the night before, by myself.
  2. I'm not friendly with the bride at all
OP posts:
bumbleymummy · 27/01/2014 00:05

No RJ it wasn't. It was part of a genetics module I studied as part of one of my Masters :)

PuggyMum · 27/01/2014 00:06

Another poster in support here Juno. Not that you are looking for it but you have been on the receiving end of some nasty comments.

Fwiw I have an 18 week old ebf little girl. I've left her overnight twice and been out once a week for 'date nights' with dh. I think it's important to still be 'me' and we have both benefitted from this approach.

I appreciate we all parent differently and I only wish she still had gp's to spend weekends with as I too believe in the phrase a pp said 'it takes a village....'

Enjoy the weekend!

pictish · 27/01/2014 00:06

Yes Bumbley - but you have been the most prolific and the most ludicrous, so I noticed you.

bumbleymummy · 27/01/2014 00:06

Someone else jumping on the bandwagon. Getting a bit crowded!

Original poster
Juno77 · 27/01/2014 00:07

Clearly it is jimmy hence why I said it was!

To be clear: I am aware this post was all about me. I am not ashamed of that. I was asking a question that was about me and whether I Was BU or not.

My children weren't a factor in this situation. This post wasn't about them.

I'm off to lick some mice in the hope it makes me a better mother, or something.

OP posts:
bumbleymummy · 27/01/2014 00:08

Don't think that will help Juno, sorry.

stayanotherday · 27/01/2014 00:08

Yes because your comments are outrageous.

pictish · 27/01/2014 00:08

So go away then!

HaroldLloyd · 27/01/2014 00:08

Bit confused there myself, are we not allowed to post about ourselves any more?

Must have missed that memo.

Bumblebee333 · 27/01/2014 00:08

What is your end game here?

Clearly you are not going to change anyones mind so just agree to disagree, as Juno has tried to do many times.

Or do you get your kicks from upsetting people?

stayanotherday · 27/01/2014 00:09

Don't blame you op you've had a horrible time on here.

HaroldLloyd · 27/01/2014 00:10

Just because someone dosent do what you would do dosent make it an awful heinous crime.

Leaving a baby of 6 weeks with loving grandparents for a weekend is FINE.

Not everyone would or could do it, but if they did it's FINE.

Im sure even the mice would do it if they had a chance.

ravenAK · 27/01/2014 00:14

I think the mice would BE the grandparents after 6 weeks.

That licking must be awfully intensive.

TimeToPassGo · 27/01/2014 00:14

Haven't read the whole thread but I don't think the groom is being outrageous in asking his best man to stay at the hotel overnight with him. He probably wants a few laughs and a couple of beers. Tbh I think you are being a bit dramatic about it all, probably because you're a bit disappointed. I would go for one night and look forward to a nice weekend away later on, unless you really want a pampering night and a full night of sleep in which case spend the £280 and enjoy the luxury!

If people are giving you a kicking because you're leaving your 6 week old baby ignore them. You are the person living your life, no one else. But I wouldn't put pressure on your DH over this. Being a best man is an honour and isn't always compatible with family life. Sometimes you just have to suck it up.

TimeToPassGo · 27/01/2014 00:15

I have obviously missed something with all the mouse talk. Have the loony brigade found the thread? Can't be bothered reading all the way back through :o

pictish · 27/01/2014 00:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

JimmyChooChoo · 27/01/2014 00:20

Bit confused there myself, are we not allowed to post about ourselves any more?

Must have missed that memo.

^ of course silly billy just as long as you know or understand its 'aibu' and you're asking for people to hopefully agree with you

GoldenDomino · 27/01/2014 00:20

Juno77 It's not about us having a weekend together - we have others planned. It's just that I feel like the groom doesn't take my feelings into account at all when planning his fucking wedding.

Based on that alone, as that seems to be the issue, YABVU. Why should the groom take your feelings into account? It's his wedding! He's not stopping you from staying two nights at all - you can still stay two nights, you just don't want to spend that much on a room for just you (though would happily have done if it was you and your DH). I don't see the issue.

Is it possible for you to get a cheaper single or twin room for the first night for yourself?

Lj8893 · 27/01/2014 00:21

Someone on this thread clearly needs a large straight vodka. And maybe some Valium. Hmm

Have a great time at the wedding Juno Thanks

HaroldLloyd · 27/01/2014 00:21

Or expecting people to pick on a unrelated point to your question and come up with ever more ludicrous posts to evidence why your the worst mother, like ever.

bumbleymummy · 27/01/2014 00:21

Ok, I have just reread all my comments and I am wondering which ones were so outrageous/offensive/disgraceful to warrant all the personal attacks/insults and 'talking-to" that I'm getting here. Aside from calling the OP spoilt a couple of times in relation to her needing her bags carried etc (which many other people have also said) and saying that I think she should consider that she may have a high needs baby that will not settle for other people there isn't anything there that other people have not said as well. Oh well! Everyone loves a scape goat!

HaroldLloyd · 27/01/2014 00:22

That's right, you have been perfectly reasonable. Yes yes.

Bumblebee333 · 27/01/2014 00:24

If you are that bothered by the way you are being spoken to then leave the thread alone.

bumbleymummy · 27/01/2014 00:24

Well go back and read them yourself Harold. Nothing there that other people haven't said. Most of my posts haven't even been to the OP - they've been to other people accusing me of being glued to my children/having no life etc...

stayanotherday · 27/01/2014 00:24

A scapegoat - like the op.