Re DH's friends wedding

[Juno77]

DH friend is getting married later in the year. DH is the best man. I am due to give birth 6 weeks prior to the wedding.

DH is going away on stag weekend (abroad) when child is 3 weeks old. I don't mind this, but it is a factor in my current annoyance.

Wedding is in a really fancy hotel, about 50 miles from where we live. We aren't planning to bring the children anyway.

We were planning to stay 2 nights in fancy hotel, as DH has plans with the groom and other friends the day/evening before. I was happily going to relax in the hotel, maybe go to the spa, go for a nice walk, just relax child free. Spend the night together, and wake up on the morning of the wedding and take my time getting ready, relaxing breakfast by myself etc.

DH friend has now told him he's booked them a room for the night before (along with a third friend). So, DH is staying the night before, and I will just have to sort myself out in the morning and make my own way to the hotel, already dressed for the wedding (as check in is too late to get ready there).

I'm pissed off. AIBU? And if so, should I be pissed with DH? Is it really his fault? Should he say no, or should we be more accommodating to the plans of the groom?

For the purposes of not drip feeding;

1. It's over £200 a night so I don't want to spend that on a room for the night before, by myself.
2. I'm not friendly with the bride at all

Good grief Janine, I haven't said I know better - I've said she doesn't know what its needs will be yet. I'm not the only one who has said that either. Quite a few people on the last few pages have said similar. Although apparently most of you think it doesn't really matter what the baby wants/needs as long as it gets fed and cuddled by someone and that all babies are the same and it won't make a difference who they are with.

I'm totally for working women (and why the hell well wouldn't I be) I'm also in favour for parents having well deserved breaks and/or time out from dc
However OP has made the post all about herself with not much if at all no regard to her parents and her unborn baby
There has been more concern about her issues about not spending two nights with her dc abs clearly no apparent concerns for said unborn child and parents

Fwiw I think bumble has been spoken to in a rude manner
Undeserved IMO

pooka I think so. Or she name changed/re registered.

Bumbley your comment to Rhonda are totally uncalled for.

Amazing the things you remember about a poster - I remember Xenia also getting flamed for cycling to work right up to the birth!

I on the other hand sobbed into my battenberg/doughnut chaser as I lumbered from room to room like a walrus. If I'd got on a bike at 39 weeks into my first pregnancy the bike would have buckled.

Didn't make that mistake with the next 2!

Oh I am terribly sorry were you actually trying to say something NICE? It didn't come across. At all.

Hope you have a good time op.

Ripping to shreds? Really? Wow, MN has got tame if repeating "you don't know what your baby's needs may be' several times and explaining that this doesn't make you a lentil weaver is 'ripping to shreds'.

Well, this post is about me. It isn't about my children, or parenting, as I don't have an issue there that I wanted to discuss.

Obviously some people do, but I don't.

So yes, this was 'all about me'.

I don't like dogs much either - that's my point. But hey, have a good time.

Why would your your baby cry for you?? Ummm....can't be bothered.

bumble

I DO KNOW WHAT MY BABY'S NEEDS WILL BE

I outlined them above.

Christ did I miss the post where the OP said she was going to leave the new baby alone and attached to a drip feed of vodka for the 2 days they are both gone?

Load of old bollox that a mother can't dare or bear to leave small babies. I don't see any eyebrow raising that the father of this same child will be leaving the baby at 3 weeks old as well as the wedding at 6 week.

Enjoy the wedding and the break OP!

Your deleted post was horrible, bumbley. As are many of your other posts. Your attempt to downplay it to 'you don't know what other baby's needs will be' is disingenuous at best.

The baby will be just as likely to cry for it's dad as it will me. If babies at 6 weeks really cry for meaning.

Maybe I will scar my child for life, leaving it with it's grandparents for a couple of days. Who knows. But that's the chance I am willing to take.

Thanks for wishing me a good time though. I will certainly try! It'll be a well deserved weekend after 9 months of pregnancy, IMO.

Juno and RJ please ignore as some posts are silly.

Thanks Jimmy.

I didn't realise you were psychic Juno. That must be a very useful skill to have. Of course, maybe it's just that you haven't had a baby who just wants to be with you and can't be settled by others or maybe it wouldn't matter if you did because you would treat them all the same anyway!

Juno I think it is quite clear that some people on this thread are jealous that you have such a lovely set up wih your parents etc. it really isn't right that they are projecting that onto you as if you should feel bad about something.

I hope you have a lovely time at the wedding.

Well, if I did have a baby who wanted only to be settled by me, I wouldn't pander to that anyway.

I would make sure the baby was able and comfortable being settled by my DH, as he is the baby's father. I wouldn't take the baby and continue to allow it to only be settled by me. There is no baby in the world who cannot settle without it's mother, only mothers who won't let their babies settle with other people.

But that is how I choose to parent. It's not right, it's not wrong. It's not a suggestion or a judgement on the fact that you or others may not do things this way. It's just what works for me and my family.

I can read my own posts Janine and I remember the one that was deleted too.

Oh good grief " Babies don't cry for meaning" now? Seriously? Are you all going to agree with this too? I suppose crying because they are hungry, wet, tired, want cuddles has no meaning then? Just trying to manipulate you maybe?

Thank you bumblebee

DS1 settled better with anyone but me. But he could smell my milk and was a greedy little mite. Collicky baby who cried for a year. He's an adorable 16 year old now. Funnily enough he settled once I stopped bfing, may have been my milk? (oh the guilt)

'Cry for meaning' want very well worded, granted. Apologies.

I meant cry for someone in specific. Babies cry when they are hungry, uncomfortable, tired, wet or just for no real reason. I don't believe they cry 'for their mother'.

But I don't think other people who do hold this opinion are wrong to do so. It's just not mine.

You can't whine "but I'll be six weeks post partum" in one breath and in the other breath maintain that leaving a six week old for two nights (and an eight week old for nine hours a day, five days a week) is of no consequence whatsoever. It's inconsistent. It also makes it sound like you believe it's all about you. And for that, YABU

I'm grateful to have a similar set up with my parents too. We're so lucky to have them living close by and that they are willing to help with childcare. Nothing for me to be jealous about there! :)

As I have said, for the purposes of this thread, and this question/issue, it was all about me!

I had no childcare issue at the start of this thread.

Being 6 weeks post partum is in reference to my body image at the time of the wedding.