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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think this teacher is a bit of a cowbag?

242 replies

SaintLauren · 24/01/2014 21:39

My DD is 5 is they started to learn how to sing "Alouette" in school. My DH is french and does not like this song because of what it's about and my DD can understand the song too.

Today she told her teacher that her dad doesn't like her singing that song because of what it means.

And the teacher replied that - yes that was absolutely fine, do you like the song Ring Around The Rosie.

My DD said yes she loved that song and the teacher replied that it's a song about people dying from the plague.

Aibu to think this makes her a cowbag?

OP posts:

CheeseStrawWars · 24/01/2014 22:37

Unless you are a family of vegetarians, I really don't understand what the problem is. It's a song about plucking a bird before you cook it.

BlackDaisies · 24/01/2014 22:42

I agree with you, mainly because your DD is just five. It's not even really about the song and whether or not everyone agrees it's graphic/ horrible. It's about a 5 year old child basically having her opinion, and her dad's opinion completely dismissed by her teacher. Also the way she did it reminds me of a child's retort "well YOU like this song, which is horrible too." As her teacher, she should have handled it a lot more sensitively. I imagine a bit of her felt embarrassed, and that maybe she'd not considered the lyrics but just liked the tune? She then reacted very defensively. Is the teacher very young? It's not a nice way to react to a little child. She could have just smiled and said "you're right! It does talk about something quite horrible. I just love the tune and the sound of the words, but we can always learn a new song next week."

WhatAFeline · 24/01/2014 22:43

Yanbu.

Your daughter wasn't sharing an opinion about Ring A Roses, she was sharing it about Alouette. The song they were learning. Did the teacher understand it or make a translation available?

If the teacher thought DHs opinion was irrelevant then she should take it up with him, not a 5 year old who was clearly oassing on what she had learned at home. Teacher sounds undermining and point scoring, to me.

Chippednailvarnish · 24/01/2014 22:50

It's a song about plucking a bird, get a grip or go vegan.

As for refering to the teacher as a "Cowbag"?!?

Yep, you're being precious.

BlackDaisies · 24/01/2014 23:00

I don't think it's really all that relevant what the song is about. It's about a little girl being put down, which isn't nice. If a five year old said she didn't like any song, whether it's a song about plucking a bird or a fantastic day at the beach, a nice response won't consist of a sarcastic, point scoring (as whatafeline said) put down. It's not appropriate, especially from her teacher, who will be an important person to a five year old.

Sparkletshirt · 24/01/2014 23:15

YANBU. You should be able to trust a teacher, of all people, to not be a nasty, insensitive cow to a five year old girl ffs.

Sparkletshirt · 24/01/2014 23:18

Gah, I'm so slow on Mumsnet. So exactly what BlackDaisies eloquently put.

And you are NOT being precious either because you're right about the teacher being a cowbag.

makemineapinot · 24/01/2014 23:22

Just saying the reality is that the teacher could have actually handled it really well and no one here actually knows what was said in the classroom. E.g. we had a parent complaining the other week about a teacher harming her dd and hitting her, when what actually happened was she (child!!) was behaving badly, chucking things about, hit something and hurt her arm - according to parent, teacher hit her dd, this poor teacher is in bits, she was not even near her, other pupils backing her but this parent is going for the jugular as she has no reason to doubt her daughter's version, blah blah blah. I have also been accused of showing 6- 7 year olds " one born every minute" with threatening letters etc - we had tadpoles and caterpillars in school and children were learning about animal life cycles. I've never actually watched said programme and have no desire to show it to 6- 7 year olds but the mother was adamant. Turns out said child was watching it with her older cousin! Just saying be careful with accusations!

edamsavestheday · 24/01/2014 23:23

I agree, the problem is not what your dd thinks about the song, it's about the teacher's dismissive and unkind reaction. (And stupid, given Ring a Roses is NOT about the damn plague. Which you could forgive the teacher for not knowing, given it's such a strong urban myth, were it not for her uncharitable behaviour.)

Sounds like a grumpy cow who didn't like a small child knowing more than she did. Which is daft, especially as your dd is half-French. Is this teacher going to get a cob on when dd tells her what Frere Jacques means as well?

edamsavestheday · 24/01/2014 23:24

PS should have added the caution that of course it's always important to find out what the teacher thinks she actually said - a child's take on the world can be quite different to an adult's.

justgirl · 24/01/2014 23:27

I would have an issue with the tone the teacher used....from reading your message I take her tone as quite sarky (which it may not have been, of course) I feel sorry for your daughter perhaps being made to feel silly in class when essentially all she was doing was passing on her fathers thoughts rather than her own.

echt · 24/01/2014 23:34

Not quite seeing the sarky tone by the teacher in the OP.

Calling the teacher a cow bag is just plain nasty, though.

Original poster

SaintLauren · 24/01/2014 23:37

Calling the teacher a cow bag is just plain nasty, though.

Hardly. There are worse words in the world.

But some people will take offence to anything.

OP posts:

ShephardsDelight · 24/01/2014 23:38

I've just googled it never heard of it before, the lyrics are horrible

echt · 24/01/2014 23:41

The fact that there are worse words in the world doesn't make it any more pleasant, St Lauren.

Try that argument when someone calls you or someone you value a name: Oh, there are worse words they could have said.

soimpressed · 24/01/2014 23:47

Are your family strict veggies? Where does your daughter think meat comes from? I'm a bit confused about why you would disapprove so strongly of the song otherwise.

Maybe the teacher taught the song because she knew your child is bilingual and thought it would be nice. Your daughter was obviously quite happy singing the song until your DH made the comments. I would reserve your 'cow bag' insults for more serious issues.

Chippednailvarnish · 24/01/2014 23:51

But some people will take offence to anything

Like a five year old's account of what her teacher said to her. After all you weren't there, so you have no idea if the teacher was reasonably explaining that different songs have historical meanings or if she was actually being nasty.

I get the feeling that the Op isn't asking if she is being unreasonable, she just wants people to agree with her.

Original poster

SaintLauren · 24/01/2014 23:55

Your daughter was obviously quite happy singing the song until your DH made the comments

Right I forgot you were part of our family and therefore obviously knew my daughter was happy singing it - she wasn't. She is a shy and quiet child and would have carried on singing it but after talking to my DH about it and knowing he did not like it either she felt reassured that she didn't have to sing it if she didn't want to.

Are your family strict veggies? Where does your daughter think meat comes from?

She knows where it comes from. But there's a difference between going to a supermarket and buying meat than going to an abattoir.

It's a song about plucking out a birds feather, eyes, beak etc, bit different to just pluck a bird and eat it.

OP posts:

Original poster

SaintLauren · 24/01/2014 23:57

I get the feeling that the Op isn't asking if she is being unreasonable, she just wants people to agree with her.

Who are you addressing that to? It's like a big statement you think you have cleverly construed and would like everyone to agree with YOU.

OP posts:

makemineapinot · 25/01/2014 00:01

Yes chipped'me too - quite defensive about reasonable opinions. Ah well...

Dinosaurporn · 25/01/2014 00:03

You sound very angry OP, maybe you should complain to the Headteacher.

After all I'm sure they like a laugh.

BTW welcome to MN.

Original poster

SaintLauren · 25/01/2014 00:07

You sound very angry OP

This response is always hilarious. I'm far from angry.

Don't need the welcome thanks, I'm a regular who NC's very often. But I always find it creepy when someone goes to the trouble to search someone on MN. What do they hope to gain from it? Bring up old threads?

I just find it odd, and have never felt the need to do it.

OP posts:

makemineapinot · 25/01/2014 00:08

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster

SaintLauren · 25/01/2014 00:11

E.g. we had a parent complaining the other week about a teacher harming her dd and hitting her, when what actually happened was she (child!!) was behaving badly

I never saw that thread but I think it's very different - because that's a really serious situation.

So serious that I would never post about it on an internet forum I would be dealing with the school directly.

OP posts:

Original poster

SaintLauren · 25/01/2014 00:12

makemineapinot how subtle. How about report this thread instead if you think I'm a troll.

OP posts:

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