to ask the health visitor why she's here

[womblesofwestminster]

Recently I got a letter from the health visiting team. It was informing me that an appointment had been made for a home visit for my DS because he has just turned 2.

DS is not a PFB. There's been no concerns with his development or health. No missed vaccinations or GP appointments. Nothing. So why the need for the visit?

I phoned and cancelled the appointment saying I had no concerns with my DS. They phoned back a few days later to say another appointment had been arranged. WTF? I thought this service was optional not mandatory?!

The 2 year old check was introduced between my DC2 and DC3. I have a fantastic health visitor. She said it is done in your home not to check out our homes but because most 2 year olds would clam up completely in a doctors surgery and therefore be a complete waste of time.

It was introduced as too much missed between 12 month check and preschool check. Particularly speech but also solids (by 2 should be on normal texture family foods) and toilet training.

To check eye sight she put a few sprinkles in his hand and asked him to pick one up and put in his mouth. Then had 10 flash cards to get him to say the words of to check his speech.

Dc3 was behind in speech so we both monitored it, discussed it after 6 months and now he is getting speech therapy as words are there but he isn't saying them correctly.

So yes for us it was beneficial.

The appointment is for your child, not you. Your child is not an extension of you, or your property. He is a person in his own right and has the right to have his health checked, regardless of whether you are busy or it makes you uncomfortable. Really, YABU

I booked my Dd's 2 year appointment at the surgery as I did not want the home scrutiny. They had no problem with that.

Yabu, just because you tell them there is no need for concern should they just believe you?

It's really difficult.

On the one hand resources need to be channelled to the families who need and would benefit from hv support the most but unless you have a system in place that can help identify those children and families how do you know who is most in need? Not all families recognise there is a potential problem with their child (or do but are reluctant for a number of reasons to seek help) but other families will and seek help accordingly.

By offering a development check at a certain point it's an opportunity for contact with a hcp for everyone. I'm not sure if there is a better way of doing this, if there was I'm sure it would be implemented.

Why are you spending all this time and energy getting worked up about a 2 yr check?
You don't have to accept it.
If you do accept hen you know why she's there.... To do the check.
Or do you just enjoy making people feel uncomfortable?

I've refused all appointments for ds. I probably should have just let them happen tbh because its causing more stress this way, especially as refusing has meant they'll come to my home at a time that suits me!?

BUT I never had a good relationship with them when my ds was going through diagnosis for ASD (accused of being neurotic) and subsequently concluded that they wouldn't know a developmental disorder if it was staring them in the face (it was).

Someone asked earlier if the 2 year check happens in the US. Yes they do along with checks at 12, 15 and 18 months. And they've been with a paediatrician at their office rather than at home. It is a lot of visits to the doctor but for us they've coincided with vaccinations.

Gosh, the drama from some people. Would it really kill you to have a professional cast their eye over your child?

It is as others have said to detect potential development problems which if intervention was delivered early may have a better outcome. But its not just about the child its about you, your health and wellbeing as parents can develop depression or mental health problems at any time, particularly up to a year after birth but sometimes can go undetected until the child is three years of age which can in turn affect the development of your child negatively.
But it can be a visit to discuss any concerns or possible referrals to social services, just because a parent states everything is fine and there are no problems that does not mean its necessarily true. And in light of all the serious case reviews of recent years they are duty bound to visit. Its a shame people are so uncooperative and defensive when ultimately it may prevent the death or maltreatment of a child which when it sadly does happen people like to blame on the professionals they also slate for trying to get access to them.

I hate health visitor checks. I felt because I had post-natal psychosis that I did have to accept the checks or they would follow up. That is possibly logical from the outside but for me it was upsetting. It would have helped if my health visitor wasn't so patronising and definite about everything.

If your DC attended nursery/ pre school/ childminder they too would have to do their version of a 2 year check. It is part of the EYFS and is a Statutory Requirement.

It's just to check everything is OK and to intervene early if not e.g speech delay.

I have no idea why you would make such a big deal of this.

phone them and arrange a mutually agreeable time.

Ds1 (8) didn't have one it was pre Baby P, but DS2. (Nearly 5) did, but it was at the health centre.

Our medical practice couldn't keep a HV on staff, so my DS didn't get a 2 yr check. I will always wonder if his autism would have been picked up more quickly if someone had seen him. Certainly I never picked it up. Because when they're that tiny, it usually takes a HCP...

Yanbu to ask the purpose of the check

Yabu to be so defensive and refusing what could be a quick visit if there are no problems

I was disappointed when no one got in touch to arrange the 2 year developmental check for DD - turns out they're running late with it all here so she's having it next week.

I wasn't over keen on my first HV but the new one for second baby has been lovely.

Also, first time round I had a query about DD and they were on the other end of the phone to help. It seems mean to not just let them get on with their job for all the time it takes.

Your attitude is ridiculous OP.

I really don't get why you want 'honest answers' about their visit. Surely it's obvious, they want to ensure your child is ok!

It's not casting aspersions about your parenting, it's about the health of your child.

And all mums are busy people, what an ridiculous statement to make.

Get a fucking grip.

If they did not insist on seeing all children SO many would fall through the cracks. Stop being difficult. Let them see your son.

yabu. it's a standard and quick check, to make sure your child is ok. with all due respect, there could be something you've overlooked.

if you start asking the hv for "honest answers" as to why she's there you're going to come across a bit unhinged tbh

YABU the time you've spent posting on this thread the HV could have been and gone. Is your house such a pigsty you can't dig it out for one visit. Get over yourself it's not actually about you but with that attitude maybe it should be.

Invasive and in the most cases unnecessary but if it saves 1 child from the fate of the cases of little bodies abandoned in woodlands / cots / drowned in baths while the mother tops herself then I'll put myself out for that!

How would a home visit prevent what you have described?

Wildthings has it in one. Your son has a right to be seen by a professional. MANY parents miss all kinds of developmental issues.

My HV dropped me like a lead balloon. DS hasn't been near a HV for either 9 month or 2 year checks. Either these are standard or necessary or they aren't - instead there's a postcode lottery where your location determines the level of engagement/harassment (pick your poison).

Wombles because some parents can be seen to be mentally unstable the moment a professional walks in...others are obviously addicts or just neglectful.