to ask the health visitor why she's here

[womblesofwestminster]

Recently I got a letter from the health visiting team. It was informing me that an appointment had been made for a home visit for my DS because he has just turned 2.

DS is not a PFB. There's been no concerns with his development or health. No missed vaccinations or GP appointments. Nothing. So why the need for the visit?

I phoned and cancelled the appointment saying I had no concerns with my DS. They phoned back a few days later to say another appointment had been arranged. WTF? I thought this service was optional not mandatory?!

When you learn to say please you might get what you want. You can always google and do the work and the uploading yourself rather than expecting it to be done on your behalf if you don't believe what you are being told.

Your first few weeks sound horrendous Near and you had a crappy HV as well....horrible that it still causes you to feel sad. It must have been absolutely awful and those first few weeks are so difficult anyway without poor input from someone meant to support you.

I am more than aware of the shortcomings within the profession and part of the reason I left was I felt less and less able to offer the support I wanted to. I now volunteer for a community service which offers support to parents. I do this as just another parent who knows how difficult it can be at times. In this way I feel I am plugging a gap.....helping other parents who just want someone they can chat to over a coffee once a week. I am able to boost confidence, help women feel less isolated, deal with debt issues and find outside support for a myriad of problems. All stuff I used to do as a HV but which slowly got eroded as the caseloads grew.

If I were going to make the claims, I would of course research the issues first.

But it was you who made the claims and you who can't back them up. Throwing random statements onto a thread and then declining to back them up with evidence just makes your threads unconvincing.

Yabu. Let them do their job. I think the checks should be mandatory to improve the chances of finding abusive parents.

Some hv are great, some are crap. You can't tar everyone with the same brush.

I found I only ever saw a nursery nurse when I got DS weighed which was frustrating as they never had any advice. Which seeing as he had eczema, reflux and a cmpi would have been helpful. They weren't really bothered.

Also, being a children's nurse myself I never knew what they could tell me. What I don't understand is that I have to keep myself updated as part of my job, do hv not have to do the same? As from reading here and on other sites the advice given is very mixed and not always good.

My last hv was lovely and admitted that some of the things the older hv's came out with were shocking.

I think it's time to overhaul the role of Health Visitors altogether, for the good of children, parents, health visitors and budgets etc.

It's a role that has shifted and there's alot of confusion about what they do and what they're for. It's not ok that they give bad advice and bring their own personal beliefs and old wives tales into the job, and it's not ok that some can't read the weight charts etc. Few other jobs allow for this level of variation in skills and the amount of dissatisfied parents/ 'service users'.

And the good health visitors must feel constantly hounded and hated and that must be awful.

Having clarity over the aims and purpose of HV would help alot:

• are they here to assess for child neglect and abuse?
• do they assess and screen parents OR advise and support them? which is their primary purpose?
• are they there for the mother and family? Or purely for the baby?
• is it the HV doing an assessment OR a dialogue where the parent can ask and garner advice and understanding?
• Are they supposed to be the 'go to' profession for breast feeding & child nutrition?
• are they supposed to identify and help mothers with pnd or other problems?
• is engagement with them a choice or is the pretense of choice actually causing problems in a world when they allege to have been designated the front line screening for child abuse?

It's because of the lack of clarity, misinformation and massive range in interpretation of their role that causes problems. People will complain and find hv wanting if they are using the wrong frame of reference, feeling a hv has fallen short on something and the hv feels that's not their purpose. There is no benefit to this confusion and lack of transparency. It opposes parents and Hv, it causes tension and angst, it means people would rather contact their gp or other professions, it allows unprofessional and incompetent hv free to misinform abd upset people ... And be the examples of a profession which I'm sure has real expertise and skill.

Who gains by the current state of affairs???

Wow, miscellaneous, ever heard of the term "over-thinking"?

OP- if you are not happy for your 2 year old to be seen, simply decline. There is little point in cross questioning the HV as to why she is seeing your DC. It is simply a routine contact.

near- you obviously had a v disappointing experience with your HV. However, some of your posts make you come across as unreasonable in your expectations (expecting the HV to be the one person who supported you in the newborn period) and others patronising, rude and unpleasant:

'Well then jakebullet duckie - as you clearly want to plumb those sorts of depths, that's precisely what you shoukd have been doing. Not, as my little HV got her kicks from, trying to degrade women who were clearly doing their best in a loving environment. I didn"t want her in my home without an appointment at 9am in the morning wly hen my baby was less than two weeks old spouting ill informed crap - bt it was clearly a nicer place for her to be than a dirty flat, 22 floors up, where she was needed.

At about that time the chairman of the HV association said in the broadsheet press that the role of the Hv was to teach ignorant mothers the three Cs - "cooking, cleaning and communication". Nothing much more rude than that imo and anyone who lumps me into that can take a running little jump and that alone convinced me that I would never deal with your smug little profession again.

As you were duckie!'

Obviously you didn't receive the support that you needed, which is poor and disappointing for you, but perhaps, from the HV's perspective, you were more difficult to help/ form a relationship with than the majority of women that she saw. The above post certainly makes you sound v difficult to me.

I'm not a HV in case you were wondering.

Suburban moi? Really? :)

Add to the phrase 'too much time on my hands' and you get the explanation! My Ds just had an operation and his chosen method of recovery is sleeping on mummy, and shouting very crossly if i move, so the phone may be getting more use than normal.

However having read so many HV threads on mumsnet, I do think that HV are a profession in need of some clarity, transparency and purpose.

YABU, it's a 2 year assessment as stated will happen in your red book-it really is that simple...

Yes, I agree with you there, miscellaneous. I work with HVs, school, nurses, SWs and the like and believe me, it's not just HVs who are confused about their role.

Wishing your DS a speedy recovery

whattime, couldn't have put it better myself, and boy, have I been trying!

Miscellaneous it's already been done. Read a call to action, 2011 and the Healthy Child Programme 2009

YABU, it's a 2 year assessment as stated will happen in your red book-it really is that simple...

I think you have your little red books confused. The child health record is issued by NHS... not Chairman Mao.

K8, I think thegin meant that the red book explains what the OP seems to be confused about, i.e. the reason for the visit.

And isn't Chairman Mao dead, unlike the NHS, though Jeremy Hunt seems to be trying his best to remedy that

MiscellaneousAssortment You are absolutely right in all your thinking .

The turn in DS eye was picked up at his 2 yr check (and handled brilliantly BTW). DP and I weren't concerned about it as couldn't see how bad it actually was (PFB).

It only takes 10 mins. YABU.

YANBU . If you don't want it DONT have it. It's your choice . Just say no thank you.
I have a friend who won't see health visitors , her child has had no vaccinations and is vegan.
She phoned her GP and said she didn't want a health visitor to contact her. GP said it was her choice . It didn't flag anything suspicious at all.

Ok, so the appointment is at 1pm today. What can I expect from this uber, uber important 'check'?

My hv showed a picture book to get my dd to name pictures just to check speach, few blocks to build a tower, threading spools on a string and using a pencil to make marks. Apart from that just a quick chat to check I'm happy with everything. Quick simple and easy.

How long did it take?

Not that long probably no more than 15 mins. I was surprised how quickly it was done but my dd was in a very agreeable and wanting to be involved mood.

From memory, less than 30 mins.

Enjoy it...I found it huge fun. Especially when the HV pointed to a picture of an orange ball and asked DD what is was and she said 'Satsuma'.

This was brought up in the FoB speech at her wedding a few weeks ago. Honestly OP this is nothing to get angry about. Unless of course things have changed hugely since those days and they now put you on a rack and stick red hot pokers under your finger nails!!

"they now put you on a rack and stick red hot pokers under your finger nails!!"

I can't believe you just blurted that out and spoiled the surprise.

Tsk

I can't believe you just blurted that out and spoiled the surprise

doh!!!!! What am I like

Satsuma lol!

What if my DS gets grumpy and shy (as he often does when faced with complete strangers - and she is a complete stranger. Never seen this HV before). How is he expected to perform in that state of mind? Genuine question.