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Original poster

to be disappointed that someone didn't offer

166 replies

BillyNotQuiteNoMates · 20/01/2014 02:25

I've just read the thread about a train journey with a buggy and it put me in mind of a situation I saw recently. I wondered how many people would have moved..
I boarded an aeroplane with my DH and 5 DCs, none of whom had flown before and were all nervous (truth be told, I'm terrified myself) there weren't enough seats in one row for all of us so DH sat between 2 DCs, I sat between 2 DCs and oldest sat alone (he didn't mind). Plane filled up and just before take off, a young family boarded. There was a Mum with a baby, a Dad and young girl (approx 2yo). There were no seats together, so Mum sat in a single seat with baby on lap, Dad sat in another with DD behind him. She was distraught, obviously scared and broke her heart. He was trying to hold her hand but couldn't because everyone needed to be strapped in. I was really shocked that no-one offered to swap with him so he could sit with his DD, even if it had just been for the take-off, and it was only an hour long flight anyway. I genuinely would have done so myself if my own DCs hadn't been so nervous. I don't know how they got to the airport but if they were on a transport bus, they would have had no control over what time they got to the airport (in case people post that they should have got there earlier). So, if you had no DCs to consider, would you have offered?

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 20/01/2014 12:19

purple

I'm sure there was a thread on that once. A lady, a nervous flyer had paid extra in order to secure a seat which was by the window and with plenty of leg room etc all because she was trying to ensure that things went smoothly and she knew she has a seat and it was meant to take away part of the stress for her.

Then a family rock up having not pre booked on the basis of the airline having to sit them together and the op being expected to just move.

BumPotato · 20/01/2014 13:01

We tried and tried to pre book seats online on recent long haul flights. At the last stage the website kept saying we'd been unsuccessful. Five of the six were okay. The last leg on the way over DH, DCs 9 & 5 and I were all given separate seats. I asked the gate staff to sort it out before we boarded, which they did. We were 2 and 2, which suited us. We weren't bothered about all being sat together. There was a couple in their early 60s kicking off because they weren't sitting together and the staff assisted them too.

I would not have boarded the plane if they'd expected either of my kids to sit themselves. Who would help lone children in the event of an emergency?

PurpleSprout · 20/01/2014 13:21

Not my thread Giles but I imagine it's a fairly common scenario.

bigbrick · 20/01/2014 13:25

It's easy - the parents just ask the person next to their child to hold the sick bag open - that person will move

Kidsarehardworkbutgoodfun · 20/01/2014 13:47

You can't really see other people on a plane unless you're sitting near them. Possibly if there had been a request from staff then someone sitting further away would have volunteered

It happened to us once. We were lucky to be in the plane at all, as the one we were meant to be on was cancelled (or something like that). Kids survived the trauma and we were glad to get home.

I also think you can't tell someone's life story by just looking at them. Perhaps we should all stop angrily judging each other and just smile and politely ask for help.

NutcrackerFairy · 20/01/2014 14:01

Maybe I am being unfeeling but it does make me a bit Hmm those who say they wouldn't move so a frightened 2 year old could sit next to her Daddy as they are 'nervous' flyers.

Really?

I am a bit of a nervous flyer myself but I am also a big girl who chose to book a flight for myself. I am sure I can get through a one hour flight without having to be latched onto DH. And if I couldn't, I would book myself some pre flight hypnotherapy or take some valium along just in case.

The frightened 2 year old just needed to be next to a parent. No other way around it. I am surprised that the flight stewards didn't step in tbh.

antimatter · 20/01/2014 14:07

the only solution is to pay extra 4 or 6 pounds to have seats together

Wibblypiglikesbananas · 20/01/2014 14:09

Hmm, posted earlier and see we still don't know which airline.

Having spent a great deal of time working for airlines, there are many stories here where safety protocol clearly hasn't been followed (unless some of the stories are rather old).

I've flown lots with children and not had any problems so far. So - which airlines treat people like this? Because none of those I've flown on have had people with children switching seats at the final hour...

Grennie · 20/01/2014 14:25

Nutcracker - nervous flyer is sometimes a euphemism for bloody terrified. I have a friend who can only fly with hypnotherapy beforehand, valium and lots of support from her partner. They rarely fly, but have for things such as family funerals.

If she wasn't sitting next to her partner, she would probably have a panic attack and end up a sobbing mess. This isn't just being a little bit nervous before take off.

I am a nervous flyer although have got better. When I had to sit separate from my DP I ended up crying during take off. I was very embarassed afterwards, but I was also really scared.

jenniferalisonphillipasue · 20/01/2014 14:27

For all those saying just cough up the extra money for priority boarding; it's all well and good but having traveled Ryan Air a number of times it is not that simple.

We are a family of 6 with very young children. By the time we have gone through check in and got to the boarding gate they have more often than not finished with the priority boarding so there would be little point. There are often no lifts available (obv depends where you are travelling) so getting through the airport can take ages. When you finally get to the gate people are so super keen to get their own seat on the plane that they just push past you with no regard to a queue system.

This happened to me a few years ago when I was travelling alone with 3 of my dc. Despite being first in the queue for check-in we were last boarding the plane yet we had not stopped at all and had priority boarding. Other people had to move for us when we got on.

It is not always as simple as being more organised. I would have moved for the dad and his dd if I was able.

NotNewButNameChanged · 20/01/2014 14:34

Nutcracker I repeat what I said earlier. I've flown twice in 40 years (ie only when I absolutely have to) because someone I knew died in a plane crash. So, yes, I am more than just nervous. I was once due to fly to a wedding and was so terrified at the thought I turned the car round on the way to the airport and backed out completely. I coped on the most recent flight through valium and the fact that I had my friend next to me to literally calm me down the whole time. A spot of turbulence and I started to feel panicky. I wouldn't remove my seatbelt the whole flight, look out of the window, get up to use the loo. The flights previous to this 20 years before had horrendous turbulence (I was told afterwards by a steward it was the worst they had ever known) and I was just this side of basket case (but managing not to scream the plane down).

While I appreciate some people will feel differently on every thread, you can keep your sceptical face to yourself, thank you.

IDugUpADiamond · 20/01/2014 14:51

On a recent flight back from Chicago I turned up to the airport 5 hours early. I don't know if you know this airport but there's NOTHING to do there. Anyway I am also a nervous flier and I wanted to make absolutely sure I had an aisle seat so that I could stretch my legs and go to the bathroom as many times as I wanted without bothering my fellow passengers. Once settled in the seat a man came over and requested I moved so that him and his wife could seat together. I told him that as long as I could go to another aisle seat I didn't mind moving. He stood there trying to argue with me like I was being beyond unreasonable. I didn't move in the end.

I would actually have moved had there been children involved.

Flossyfloof · 20/01/2014 14:54

Surely the only people who would have seen what was going on would have been those very close? And if it was an in everybody on board and off we go there would not have been time? Sometimes life is tough. Had I been there alone and noticed what was happening I would have offered to move but honestly, people are usually too wrapped up in themselves to notice what is going on a lot of the time. Had I been with my partner I would not have offered in any case. Doesn't make me nasty or selfish, just means that I would have wanted to spend the flight with him. People aren't bloody mind readers.

Floralnomad · 20/01/2014 14:58

I've flown with lots of cheap airlines and I've never come across one that doesn't allow pre booking , that's how they make their money . If you want to sit together you book ,end of . That said I would have swopped with the dad purely because I wouldn't want to sit next to someone else's upset small child ,but I wouldn't have been impressed with their lack of planning .

CrohnicallySick · 20/01/2014 15:00

Priority boarding is useless. When we flew Ryanair, the priority boarding people were on the bus and taken to the aircraft first via the front doors where we all had to queue and show tickets etc before boarding. However, the bus immediately after (with non priority boarding) pulled up and let the passengers on via the back doors. We were at the back of the priority queue and the plane was half full by the time we got on.

Didn't bother me though, we paid the extra to book specific seats (which, by the way, were right at the back of the plane so we had to fight against the onslaught of free-for-all passengers) and will always do so in future to ensure that all 3 of us can sit together.

MerylStrop · 20/01/2014 15:00

I'm terrified of flying, always have been
Don't plan on doing it again unless I have absolutely have NO choice
But if I did….I'd move for a wee kid, or even a bigger kid, to sit with their family (unless it meant leaving my own wee kid sitting alone)

Because I am going to be crapping myself wherever I sit.

Crowler · 20/01/2014 15:01

I can't believe that an adult would ask another adult to trade an aisle for a non-aisle seat so they can sit next to their wife. WTF?

O'Hare is not a bad airport, though?

IDugUpADiamond · 20/01/2014 16:21

Crowler I saved my dollars for the 5 hour wait and only bought a cinnamon bun!!!!

kali110 · 20/01/2014 16:21

Im already on high doses of anti depressants as it is!im not selfish just bloody terrified with an anxiety disorder thrown in. Because of my fear of flying i couldn't face it so last time we went abroad we went via coach which took 24 hours which i would happily do again if it wasn't for my disabilities now making it impossible. Drinking onboard wouldn't be advisable either. Being separated from my dp would leave be a sobbing hysterical wreck. I spend my time onboard trying not to cry or throw up as it is.

WooWooOwl · 20/01/2014 16:29

The fact that some people would be able to deal with any panic or anxiety they were feeling if they were made to move is great for them, but it doesn't mean that everyone else should be able to.

Either way, I actually think it's ok to be a little bit selfish when you've paid hundreds of pounds for something that is part of the highlight of your year.

Parents are responsible for their own children, and if they haven't taken responsibility for ensuring that they are with them, it really shouldn't have to become someone else's problem.

kali110 · 20/01/2014 16:31

Wooeoo take it you may be an anxiety sufferer?

wobblyweebles · 20/01/2014 16:37

Pre-booking quite often makes no difference to whether you actually get the seats you pre-booked, so let's stop assuming the parents were feckless idiots who didn't pre-book shall we?

I've been in the situation where despite us pre-booking they have tried to dot us as a family all around the plane. At one point they expected my 18 month old to sit on his own 20 rows from anyone.

goinggreyagain · 20/01/2014 16:41

For all we know the family was flying stand by or even airline employees flying stand by, they may have just been happy to get on the flight.

Mim78 · 20/01/2014 16:42

Crowler I agree I would only move for kids, not so someone could sit with their wife. That is daft.

If I were there I would have issues moving to a non-aisle seat for whole flight as like others I'm really (very properly) claustrophobic. It is a fear of not being able to move specifically and feel I can cite it with confidence as it has also led me to turn down an epidural in induced labour.

However, I think if I was next to them (and they were both in middle seats or similar) I'd tell hostess I would be happy to move but could they help me find a different aisle seat. As long as that didn't mean being away from own dcs, I wouldn't care if I was separated from my party of other adults as that's just silly.

I think the key to this would have been for the airhostess/steward to help out though as there must have been people who would have moved.

ShadowOfTheDay · 20/01/2014 16:46

we always fly with airlines that let you book your seat because we always want to sit together with our kids... costs more, but we make that choice...

people still swan up last to check in and try to get people to move to get seated together, when most people have paid to book their seats ... so sometimes it does grate....

if I travel alone, I don't book a seat, so would move at the drop of a hat (so long as it was not to a cramped seat at the back by the toilets....)