Voluptuous FIL sits TOPLESS when we visit :(

[PollyPumpkins]

AIMU to expect FIL to put a top on during visits. I realise its his home and people can generally do what they like within their own 4 walls.

However I just find I am being increasingly struck dumb and I am unable to meet his gaze or even look at him. He is rather generously proportioned and sits at the head of the table like some buddha.

I have a sense he knows my feelings about this and knows how uncomfortable it makes me feel as several years ago there was a conversation about being half dressed in different situations - eg ... walking down street, in own home, in garden, on beach etc. This was before he took to being half undressed when at home.

DH has no problem with it although he does not do this himself. He also does not feel comfortable broaching the subject with his father.

Perhaps I am turning into a prude in my old age and just need to chillax.

I am trying to get over myself Someonestolemynick ... but its proving rather difficult. I mean how difficult is it to put a top on for lunch or family visits. I don't feel I am being controlling ... just looking for some compromise.

No, not controlling at all, that is unbelievably rude.

lljkk ... I might have to do just that! Honestly, I dont want to stop going, I don't want DH caught in the middle and just telling fil how i feel isn't an option as he will get off on that it bothers me.

Thank you TaraLott :)

lljkk ... the problem is when its time for kisses and goodbyes ... copious amounts of fil's naked flesh to grapple with is not something I think I can stomach :(

Would you ever go there without your DH? Is there a MIL? If so, how do you get on with her?

It is a bit eeeww but really I think your only options are to ignore it or not go there. He is in his own home and even if you said anything I doubt he'd stop doing it

If it really bothers you, just don't go and tell your husband the reason is you are very uncomfortable.

Just to be clear, I had my tongue somewhat in my cheek.

I happen to agree with you polly, I think sitting at the table with your top off at the dinner table is tacky/ rude and I would judge the fuck out of your fil (like I do with most form of public nudity or partial nudity).

But then again, it's his house, it's only moobs and I doubt he even remembers the conversation from a few years ago (or connects it with your discomfort). So either catch your FIL on his own and let him know how you feel (I don't think it's fair to send your dh as he obviously doesn't mind) or ask yourself if it's really worth making an issue out of this.

If after your hypothetical talk he still wants to walk around and eat in his own house topless, then you might have to consider not going.

Accidentally spill boiling hot gravy on his belly.

How could you sit down at a dinner table with no shirt on? Blah.

OK, it does sound as though what's really bothering you is the awareness that this man is amusing himself by making you uncomfortable.
Because, after all, we've all got bodies, and few of us look like airbrushed perfection, and people should be able to do what they like in their own homes.
However, most naturists keep a dressing gown near the front door, at least, in case of non-naturist visitors, and most people prefer to put a guest at ease, rather than try to gross him/her out.

Have you tried making a joke out of it? Demonstrating that you find him ridiculous rather than creepy? Or not reacting at all: it's very unsatisfying for a bully to try distressing someone, only to have the intended victim react with a shrug and a change of subject.

PlatinumPennies ... hehehehe :)

You speak a lot of sense SolidGoldBrass ... I think the fact he is doing it to cause offence is as much making me feel uncomfortable as the nakedness is!

Family politics is so complicated :(

Disgusting! Very bad manners to sit at the dinner table without a top on. I'd feel the same way but probably wouldn't know how to approach it. Your DH needs to say something. If he's doing it for control though I probably wouldn't, if it's getting to you then he's likely to keep doing it, or worse...

Someonestolemydick ... he is also the kind of person to not flush the loo after having used it and leave the seat and lid up :( ... and thats when he visits us as well!!!

Well, perhaps you should pop to the loo just before you're leaving and add some itching powder to your sleeves/front before giving him a serious hug on the doorstep?

[Whistles innocently]

True PansOnFire. I have been with DH nearly 20 years and I was DH second wife. I met him after he was divorced. DH says his father never liked his exwife either. DH's fear of his father appears to take over all rational thought so he will never cross him, even if it was done in a none threatening and diplomatic manner.

Hahahahaha MoonlightandRoses ... or even accidentally leave some on the loo seat ;)

Is it wrong to say I'm looking forward to hearing about your next visit?

op didnt you write about this at the xmas table?

MY DF does this, its so annoying and yuck.

polly

the problem is when its time for kisses and goodbyes ... copious amounts of fil's naked flesh to grapple with is not something I think I can stomach

Polly do not kiss him for god sake!

stick your hand out for him to shake it.

Join in and get your kit off.

Moonlight&Roses ... me too, in a perverse way lol must remember itching powder ;)

Boffin - in that case it would be Clash of the Boobs lol

But it's WINTER!?