About eating out and tipping

[Normalisavariantofcrazy]

I've just endured a meal with the inlaws and fil insisted on rounding the bill up - not to the nearest £10 but to the nearest £20 before splitting it out evenly between us all.

The meal was a set price the only thing that varied it was the drinks.

DH and I only had enough money for our share of the bill (tight month) and yet FIL would not accept this and nearly started a row saying we should pay the extra as it was for a tip, the service was shit tbh and didn't deserve one.

AIBU to be angry with FIL for insisting we spend more money than we had budgeted for a)because he got pissed as a fart and most of the bill was his drinks and b) for him rounding it up without asking

How do you deal with group meals and splitting the bill? This has really upset me as I'm now utterly skint

Depends how well you do it I think.

I agree, we have only really eaten out (a lot) in Florida so I haven't really come across the bad service because we are British thing

I don't doubt it happens though, we always make sure we tip the right amount over there as I'm afraid of getting it wrong

My comment about "cheap bastard" was relating to the British waiters thoughts if a tip is not left in the uk. In America I would think it's more likely that the waiter would wonder what they had done wrong, in the uk the waiter would think the customer was being cheap, not that they had done something wrong

IYSWIM

When did tipping become 12.5%

My DB runs a restaurant and kind of hopes for something between between £1 a head and 10%

Windmill,you've listed tasks,not skills
Some waiting staff are fab,some aren't
It's not a given it's a high skilled multifaceted job

Sorry that was to koala

Maybe because I know a lot of people who do challenging jobs for low wages - child care, health care, mental health support work etc - I can't quite take not dropping plates and being pleasant and smiley without a break for 6 hours as an especially deserving case.

So if we want that kind of service we need to pay for nice bright people to want to do it.

Do you also apply that to the care assistants looking after your bed-bound grandfather or the nursery nurses looking after your defenceless baby?

Didn't think so.

I'm genuinely feeling for some of you and your tales of waitressing woe...... but let's be honest. There is absolutely no reason why putting food on tables is a job that requires extra cash bungs over any of the other NMW jobs in 21st century Britain. Sorry.

It became 12.5% in London about 5-7 years ago. All the discretionary charges of restaurants i know are that and even if there is no charge for tables under x amount, the menus usually say there is a non-discretionary 12.5% service charge for tables over x amount.

When I was a waitress there were skills, people skills, memory skills, co-ordination skills, and numeracy skills - we used to have to add up the cost of the drinks and add them to the bill 35 years ago.

It was hard, hard work.

I have had good service here, the woman in ASK the other day took our order without writing it down and it was quite a convoluted one.

But I take your point that it probably doesn't happen that often!

Erm of course i think that of nurses and carers. Why would i not? How strange. Society should value those jobs over that of bankers. I can't change the NMW (i wish i could). And i have never needed those people you refer to, but it isn't a race to the bottom. Just because they should be paid more it doesn't mean i should stop tipping. I don't see how they are linked. (i have been to the hospital today with DS and did leave a donation and am considering sending chocolates or something to the ward as they were fantastic).

But it's really no harder or more skillful than many other similarly paid jobs.

I wonder how many people who adamantly refuse to tip people for just doing their job bought presents for their child's teacher at Christmas?

I tip if I'm happy with service
I'm not compelled to buy teacher a present
What's your point

I can't quite take not dropping plates and being pleasant and smiley without a break for 6 hours as an especially deserving case.

When your life can depend on them getting it right and their demeanour is the difference between enjoying a meal and feeling about as welcome as a rattle snake in camp, they deserve the tip.

YANBU about the alcohol.

I'm torn on the tipping. I've never not tipped and find that 10-15% is standard among people I go out with.

However, I have a friend who almost never eats out because she is on jsa and has almost nothing. I'd hate to think that she feels even more unable to go out, ever, because she has to find this 10-15% extra (which is huge if your only income is £70 a week and you are (understandably) awkward about letting other people pay for you).

So I guess I think tipping should be expected for the majority but, if you really can't afford it, you should still be able to enjoy the occasional social meal out without having to worry about funding the extra.

I live in London and eat out plenty, usually leaving just over 10%.

I have seen the 12.5% thing added to the bill once or twice, think 'cheeky bastards' get them to remove it from the bill, leave nothing and never return.

No.life depends on critical interventions not a dinner delivered well

There was a thread on here just before Christmas about how much to give the bin men and the postman etc for their 'Christmas box'. Most people were incredulous that anyone ever leaves tips for bin men etc, but some people still do. It was once common practice but has gradually diminished and many people seem never to have heard of it.
If only restaurant tipping were the same!

I'm not against tipping per se and indeed I do sometimes give tips (but by no means always). What I can't abide is the way that it is expected that you will leave a tip, regardless of whether or not you received exceptional service.

Waiting staff are simply doing their job and I fail to understand why they should be singled out to receive 'gifts' while others who may work just as hard are not so feted.

What is so special about being a waitress that you should expect your customers to shower you with gifts?

My point? That those teachers are just doing their job too and that presents at Christmas/end of year are also a form of tipping. If people won't tip waiting staff for doing their job why would they do the teacher present giving? Just wondered if that kind of inconsistency was going on, that's all.

I wonder how many people who adamantly refuse to tip people for just doing their job bought presents for their child's teacher at Christmas?

I did yes. Bizarrely enough, the women who each spend 195 days a year with my DDs have far more of an impact on my family than the chap who put my curry in front of me last time I went for an Indian.

Quite frankly I'd give DD1's teacher a sainthood if I could, never mind an ornamental flower....... Now that's a woman who's earned a bloody tip!

I don't tip unless satisfied,I don't necessarily give teacher gift unless satisfied

Always best to agree beforehand how you are going to deal with the bill, so OP YABU to be complaining about it after the fact and so maybe was FIL for just deciding for everyone how it should be split.

Over the years I have been experienced friends not tipping enough, lushes who have drunk enough booze for everyone wanting to split the bill equally with non drinkers, someone who totted up the cash on the saucer, which included my tip, and deducted this from the bill to give their 'share' and some extremely tight-fisted people who didn't tip at all when we'd had excellent service. I put a tip in for everyone on that occasion after they'd all left the table.

In the US I have generally found service in restaurants to be better than here in the UK, but maybe that's because waiting tables is often seen as a stopgap rather than a career here? We had a lovely meal there on one occasion and had calculated the tip in line with local custom. When our bill came, the waitress had written 'expected tip $X' on it! DP hit the roof and immediately rounded it down to the 10% we give as a norm at home.

Scottish - i think the point was more to people who say they don't tip even when satisfied with good service, because that person should provide good service anyway as they are paid to do their job - same as teachers, nurses, everyone else.