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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To have expected this woman to move seats

610 replies

appletarts · 16/01/2014 21:05

I was on the train back from London, with a first class ticket. In the carriage there was one space available for a buggy with a seat facing it, also described as disabled access. I arrived just as a woman was putting her things on the seat, I said excuse me do you think I could put my buggy here? She goes yes but sits down in the seat opposite it. Uh... I said do you think I could have that seat so I can look after my child during the journey and she starts moaning saying she's booked in advance and wants to sit in her booked seat. I asked her does she have a specific need which means she needs this seat, she says no. I said well I'm sure you don't want to meet the needs of my child for three hours do you? How about you let me have that seat so I can look after my DD and if someone comes on a disputes you being in that free seat we'll deal with it then. She then moans more saying she's booked and why is she being made out to be in the wrong, lots of eye rolling and tutting on her part. I say she can sit in 99% of the seats available and I need this 1%, I need this one seat. Eventually she moves but behaves as if she's been evicted and sits with a cats arse face for most of journey sighing everytime my dd dared utter a gurgle. Seriously? Is this unreasonable of me?

OP posts:
BrianTheMole · 16/01/2014 22:15

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Sirzy · 16/01/2014 22:16

Why didn't you book the ticket if you needed that seat so much?

Most disabled people have realised that it is very hard for them to get a seat if they have specific need for wheelchair access/mobility issues and as such ensure they book in advance to make sure they can travel.

You didn't need that space you could have taken your child out of the pram and sat elsewhere.

eurochick · 16/01/2014 22:17

YABVU. She was in her booked seat. You had no business to move her from it.

Take your child out of the pushchair and sit in one of the 99% of seats you have stated were available.

gamerchick · 16/01/2014 22:20

Man I would have liked to have been that person you moved Grin

I always paid for extra seats for my younglings on trains.. who keeps a kid in a buggy for 3 hours? They like to look out of the window.

LoveWine · 16/01/2014 22:20

Why exactly did you post here OP?

Supercosy · 16/01/2014 22:21

I know what you mean about giving up your seat if someone else needs it more OP. I really try to look out for people who are more in need than I am but I do think this is slightly different. The woman had booked a seat so presumably other seats in the carriage were also reserved by other people. What would happen if the woman sat in someone else's reserved seat and then that person boarded the train and demanded that she moved etc etc. She could end up with no seat at all for the whole journey despite having reserved a seat. I don't think that's fair and you put her in a really difficult position.

Other posters are absolutely right, you have no idea whether this lady needed a seat more than you or not. I'm extremely keen to help people out whenever I can but I would've been very angry if you'd approached me like this.

feelingvunerable · 16/01/2014 22:21

I think YABu too.

She had a booked seat and you evicted her, not nice.

Wolfiefan · 16/01/2014 22:22

BOOK the seat or FOLD the buggy.
Who the heck are you to question someone on their medical history? She booked a seat. She gets to sit in it!
Perhaps a "I'm really sorry but the ticket inspector would like my buggy parked here. Would you rather swap seats with me or do you mind if it stays here?"
I have a really awful back. You can't see it. Should I have to justify sitting somewhere so I'm not in agony when I got off?

WaitMonkey · 16/01/2014 22:23

You are very unreasonable and rude to ask about disability. Next time, you should book your own seat.

YouTheCat · 16/01/2014 22:23

The only inspectors I've ever seen comment have said that people should fold their precious buggies and prams and put them in the luggage area.

IamInvisible · 16/01/2014 22:24

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Caitlin17 · 16/01/2014 22:27

If you book online rather than using a phone app you can pick not the exact seat but the type of seat. I always book 1st class single seat with no one opposite me.

If I've paid for a full price ticket I can sit in either the booked seat or any other seat. If I've booked an advance ticket only that particular train and seat.
YABU

aderynlas · 16/01/2014 22:27

You could simply have folded the buggy op. Your daughter could have had a nice time looking out of the window. Cant see much from a buggy.

YouTheCat · 16/01/2014 22:31

On East Coast trains you can book your exact seat. I do because I like a table and a window.

Madamecastafiore · 16/01/2014 22:34

Blimey I feel sorry for your poor child confined to its pushchair for 3 hours.

Or

Were you going to take your child out of it's pushchair and so the space you so desperately needed was next to one where you could conveniently store your empty pushchair?

Either way I would have refused and would have told you that if you had asked in a polite way would have moved happily.

Hopefully that would have made you realise what a rude, entitled human being you are.

Noideaatall · 16/01/2014 22:34

I sympathise actually. On the tube/bus there's hardly anywhere to put a buggy, and usually only one place you could sit and still be able to see your child. Inevitably someone will choose that seat even though there are plenty of others, and you will have to stand despite lots of other free seats. This was a long journey so that's not even an option.
I think most people just haven't ever had to do a journey with a buggy and wouldn't even think about what the issues might be. So I think, as long as you were polite, there's nothing wrong with asking her to move.

WaitMonkey · 16/01/2014 22:36

You sound like a lovely person. Hmm Why did you bother posting on here, you don't listen to anyone ?

LineRunner · 16/01/2014 22:37

Noideaatall.

Good name.

Mim78 · 16/01/2014 22:39

You can move seats to a free seat even if you have booked another - I often do but I take the paper ticket so that someone else can have my booked seat.

I have read this post to mean most of the seats were unbooked - is that correct op.

Usually having a system of booked seats saves a lot of grief but I do think people should be flexible if possible. It can be stressful travelling with small children especially if you are not used to it. Clearly the op found it so.

The great likelihood is that this woman had no nneed for the seat and was a bit unkind. But of course we on mn will never know.

Thants · 16/01/2014 22:39

Yanbu. It doesn't matter what seat she sits in. You book a seat not a specific seat. Clearly someone with a child needs more space she can sit anywhere.

ConferencePear · 16/01/2014 22:40

So was this woman supposed to roam about the carriage trying to find a seat that wasn't booked ? Supposing she had sat in a vacant seat and the person who booked it turned up and wanted it ?
I have a vision of a whole carriage playing musical chairs.

Supercosy · 16/01/2014 22:42

But that's not true Thants. If you book a reserved seat on a train it is a numbered seat. If the train is busy of course it causes problems if someone is in the numbered seat that you have booked.

foreverondiet · 16/01/2014 22:42

You are v v v unreasonable. She booked a specific seat.

PumpkinPositive · 16/01/2014 22:51

Is it a full moon tonight? Confused This is the second really entitled bizarre OP I've read today on AIBU. Although the other one, I grant you, had the edge.

QuintessentialShadows · 16/01/2014 22:54

... And you had not booked that seat because?