Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To have expected this woman to move seats

610 replies

appletarts · 16/01/2014 21:05

I was on the train back from London, with a first class ticket. In the carriage there was one space available for a buggy with a seat facing it, also described as disabled access. I arrived just as a woman was putting her things on the seat, I said excuse me do you think I could put my buggy here? She goes yes but sits down in the seat opposite it. Uh... I said do you think I could have that seat so I can look after my child during the journey and she starts moaning saying she's booked in advance and wants to sit in her booked seat. I asked her does she have a specific need which means she needs this seat, she says no. I said well I'm sure you don't want to meet the needs of my child for three hours do you? How about you let me have that seat so I can look after my DD and if someone comes on a disputes you being in that free seat we'll deal with it then. She then moans more saying she's booked and why is she being made out to be in the wrong, lots of eye rolling and tutting on her part. I say she can sit in 99% of the seats available and I need this 1%, I need this one seat. Eventually she moves but behaves as if she's been evicted and sits with a cats arse face for most of journey sighing everytime my dd dared utter a gurgle. Seriously? Is this unreasonable of me?

OP posts:
RaspberryRuffle · 16/01/2014 22:55

some silly woman who is all uptight about what seat she sits in
To whom are you referring OP? You or the other passenger?
I would give up my seat for someone whose need is reater, teh thing is, YOU were not qualified to judge that, and the other passenger was under no obligation to move, or to explain anything to you.
In your shoes I might have asked, told her what seat number you had, asked if she would be willing to sit there. At least then she wouldn't have risked being moved along by whoever had booked the random seat she went to.
Many more YABU replies here, and your response indicates you haven't taken them on board...

flatmum · 16/01/2014 22:58

yab massively unreasonable. Just because you're travelling with a buggy doesnt give you the right to turf her out of the seat - and did you oay fo r2 seats or one?

Wantsunshine · 16/01/2014 22:58

YABU if you had genuine need I am sure people would move for you. But if as you say the carriage was so empty why was your buggy an issue? You sound very entitled. You certainly have some front asking if she has any medical need to be in her allocated seat.

NatashaBee · 16/01/2014 22:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheDoctrineOf2014 · 16/01/2014 23:01

When you said, "do you mind if I put my buggy here?" I expect she thought you meant, "do you mind if I leave my buggy here and take DD to sit with me somewhere else?" - especially as she'd started settling in. So to pitch in straight away with, "are you going to mind my child then?" Was pretty odd!

sixpencesings · 16/01/2014 23:03

YABVU! Why didn't you book a seat knowing your very specific requirements? Could go on but already been said.

pinkyredrose · 16/01/2014 23:03

OP why didn't YOU book that seat if it was that important to you?

pinkyredrose · 16/01/2014 23:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BaronessBomburst · 16/01/2014 23:06

LineRunner Nicely done. Grin

mayorquimby · 16/01/2014 23:12

"I said well I'm sure you don't want to meet the needs of my child for three hours do you? How about you let me have that seat so I can look after my DD and if someone comes on a disputes you being in that free seat we'll deal with it then"

Can't imagine why anyone would respond poorly to this

Tinkertaylor1 · 16/01/2014 23:15

Ha ha ha ha Grin what was you expecting op?

Clearly haven't grabbed the idea of seat access on public transport! If you have a pram or are pregnant it counts fir shit on here!

And why should she tell you if she has a disability ?

Book the seat next time!

hooochycoo · 16/01/2014 23:17

i agree with you OP. I'm surprised that this seat was booked to anyone actually. Maybe it was a mistake, did you check with ticket inspector? Whenever I've travelled with DC'S on the train and tried to book this seat I've been told it's not bookable, it's first come first served for buggies, only bookable as a wheelchair space.
It's not unreasonable. It's the only space on the entire train that you can sit by your buggy. Those who are saying she should fold maybe haven't attempted a long train journey with a baby/toddler and luggage. being able to sit by your buggy, which you are using as a high chair/ bed/ restraint/ lugguage trolley, can make the whole difference to the journey being possible. The fact that there's only one space on each train that you can put a buggy is what's unreasonable. I think one seat each carriage should be fold up and bookable for people travelling with buggies, in addition to designated disabled spaces.

selsigfach · 16/01/2014 23:18

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PurpleSprout · 16/01/2014 23:19

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 16/01/2014 23:20

you would have gotton no where with me, not because I havent got respect. It's because you don't deserve it.

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 16/01/2014 23:22

I often get asked why DS is using the disabled toilets, He has a hidden disability and I am getting very good at telling people i dont discuss his medical problems.

Wantsunshine · 16/01/2014 23:25

Selisigfach I feel sorry for the child too! Can you imagine first term in reception class!

hoobypickypicky · 16/01/2014 23:27

"Those who are saying she should fold maybe haven't attempted a long train journey with a baby/toddler and luggage."

Wrong. Hugely, massively wrong. I travelled frequently by train and bus with a buggy, luggage/shopping, a baby and a toddler. I managed it by A. Folding the buggy and B. Taking two things with me which greatly improved my journey.

Manners and consideration for others.

MsPavlichenko · 16/01/2014 23:32

Why would she have had to meet the needs of your DC even if she was sitting next to her. My (now adult) DS is a wheelchair user with signifigant support needs, and on the spectrum. The strange lay out in trains/ other transport/ theatres etc etc has sometimes meant that I am not the person closest to him. Have never expected anyone else to step up.

nauticant · 16/01/2014 23:33

She didn't move because she was nice or polite. She moved because she assessed you as being a complete nightmare and needed to get away from you.

VVVU.

RozziRaspberry · 16/01/2014 23:33

My mum always books her first class seat when she visits me through thetrainline.com, she picks her preferences which are usually a single seat with table.

Her tickets arrive weeks before she travels with her allocated seat number, every time she gets on the train there is someone in her seat she politely tells them they are in her seat and they move.

OP I would love to be a fly on the wall if it was mum you asked to move from her pre booked seat Grin

hooochycoo · 16/01/2014 23:35

I've frequently done a six hour journey with baby/toddler and suitcase and travel cot and it's a massive massive difference being able to have your buggy in this space. You must be as unflappable hooby.

Trying to hold a baby/toddler, fold a buggy, stash luggage is easy, and neither is sitting with a baby/toddler on my knee for six hours, feeding them, trying to get them to nap. You most likely end up with a tired crying bored child and a stressed out parent. I don't know, when i read the OP i was reminded of a time when the I was in the OP's exact position and someone in the wheelchair/buggy space refused to move. I'm a wuss and didn't challenge her and consequently had a crap journey in the vestibule in everyone's way. So I actually felt that the OP was enjoyably proactive and assertive.

hooochycoo · 16/01/2014 23:36

is not easy rather.

PedlarsSpanner · 16/01/2014 23:38

Op is TOAST

hooochycoo · 16/01/2014 23:39

i think being on a train with your toddler is like trying to look after you drunken nightmare of a best friend on a stage to an audience of teetotallers

Swipe left for the next trending thread