to be fed up of people expecting their new babies to be sleeping through?

[IRCL]

It is so frustrating.

babies are supposed to feed frequently and wake in the night.

even more annoying are the idiots who suggest putting solids in the bottle and trot out the never did mine any harm line...

YANBU. I think most people expecting a baby expect a certain amount of disruption to their sleep through night feeds, etc but I also think there's lot of crap-yet-well-meaning advice out there too which clouds expectations. When DS (my first) was born I had several people tell me he needed rusk in his bottle to "top him up because he's a big lad", there is also a poster at the baby with clinic that says if your baby is not sleeping through by six months you should speak to the HV for information on controlled crying

I also think it swings both ways though and some babies do sleep through. I was very, very, very lucky that my two slept. I don't know why they did or how, it certainly wasn't down to anything I did or didn't do, they were just lazy I think! DS from newborn would go down after a feed around 7pm, then he would wake around 11pm-midnight (ish) for another feed. I would go to bed as soon as he finished that one. Then he'd wake around 3-4am for a feed then sleep until anywhere from 7am to 9am (depending on the time of his last feed). When he was 6wo he dropped the 3-4am feed himself and slept through from 11pm-ish to around 7am-ish, he started wanting an extra feed during the day instead (demand fed) so I just went with it and he slept around eight hours every night.

DD followed a similar pattern - feed around 7pm, down, then she would wake around 9/10pm for a feed then again around midnight. As soon as she had her midnight feed I went to bed, she would then sleep until around 7am every night from day one. She never once woke for a night feed and when I asked the HV if I should wake her I was told no because she was growing/gaining weight, she was giving plenty of used nappies, and she was feeding lots during the day and evening (and was very vocal when she was hungry) so was obviously getting enough - it also busted the myth that breastfed babies don't sleep as much as formula fed babies

I'm due DC3 and I'm hoping he's just as lazy and I get lucky a third time but if I don't, then I don't.

Mine still don't sleep through
Teenagers and a six yr old :( the house of insomnia

YANBU but we as a country are conditioned to believe this as it has been spouted for years and years. It's just another stupid, unreasonable pressure we put on new parents.

My 1.5 years old has just started sleeping through, some people look genuinely horrified when I tell them this.

I don't think I've ever met anyone who thinks that newborns should sleep through the night.

On the other hand, the sheer fatigue of not sleeping makes you say the weirdest things

Hmmmm, not sure on this one. I wasn't at all concerned about my DS sleeping through in the early months....I was lucky though. I had a lot of support from DP and just one baby who was happy during the day and when he woke at night it was just to be fed or changed, then settled easily.

Some mums are coping alone, have other kids to deal with, might have PND, a baby with reflux or other problems, who cries day and night... I really wouldn't begrudge anyone in that situation to declare they wanted their baby to sleep through...

Also, i think lots of new mums say this simply to convey they are very tired and swap anecdotes as a way of making small talk with other new mums - but in reality aren't doing much about it.

Babies do what babies do - they are all pretty much unpredictable little individuals who love to keep us on our toes. I got lucky with my second - so far she's been amazing - but then again, my benchmark came in the form of a little bundle 8 years ago who spent more hours screaming than he did anything else and I considered 2 hours broken sleep a luxury.

My MIL put solids in my DPs bottle....when he was 2 weeks old because "he should have been sleeping through so was obviously hungry" Guess I should be grateful he lived for her to tell the tale of how it "worked".

well said, Belchica.

Don't, I have an acquaintance who weaned - as in, shovelling all sorts down baby's mouth - at 3 months 2 wks cos 'he was hungry'. I have had to hide her fb feed...

^^ that said, I was in no way prepared for what 'not sleeping through' felt like in any way, shape or form and spent the entire first year fantasizing about sleep...

Mine at 7 months wakes up every hour at night, has been doing so since he was 4 months.

I just feel like telling every pregnant woman to sleep, sleep, sleep and enjoy life before baby comes and life goes upside down, but I have to keep my gob shut as I know most babies thankfully are not like my dearest DS!

You see this madness of putting rusks into babies bottles? What is that supposed to do, exactly?

Dd was a flaming terror for sleeping, until she was about a year old. Then she became the early waking child.
Ds1 didn't sleep for more than 45 minutes at a stretch until he was about 18 months old and ds2 slept through at about 7 months but from about 3 months he was only waking once.

All 3 weaned at the same age. How the bloody hell does thickening up the milk help exactly?

Tantrums, how did you cope with your DS1? Any tips?

I've got to return to work soon and no idea if ill even be able to at this rate (LO up every hour).

And yes OP, it is so annoying, especially as people like to make out its somehow MY fault LO doesn't sleep through the night. And the question of 'is she good' really annoys me too.

I think yabu. Of course they know they are just venting like people do.

I doubt many are stupid enough to out a rusk in a bottle.

Besides, expecting some sleep at some point isn't that unreasonable. I think it goes from one extreme to the other on here tbh. One persons baby will sleep through at a month. Others seem to think its normal for babies of a year to wake 7/8 times a night to feed.

It's sad but true that people expect babies to sleep through from the beginning. I think the trouble is that some babies sleep through from a couple of weeks onwards, and so because some do people expect it to be the norm for everybody.
I've had so many people saying I've got a bad baby because he's hungry all the time, not just health visitors but also family who should know better!
It's a terrible pressure because with of all that sleep deprivation it's easy to doubt yourself, cave in and believe all the voices saying the same thing.
Having said that, when my baby got past 6 months and was still feeding every three hours round the clock, I did question whether it was simply comfort feeding and not nutritional needs. I decided to offer a different type of comfort (I didn't want to withhold comfort if that was what he needed) and it works like a dream, he now goes through much much better. We get one waking every night and then offer some comfort and he sleeps again very quickly for the rest of the night. I think the problem is when people try to achieve that when babies are much younger than past six months.

I cried. A lot. I went back to work when he was 5 months as well. It was a nightmare.

I took any and every oppourtunity to nap. Me and DH used to take it in turns to get up in the night and take it turns to nap.
I kept repeating to myself "it won't last forever"

YANBU

Dd 14 months still wakes 1-2 times a night and I am used to it and just get in with it (LP so just me getting up). I've done everything that seems doable and OK for me eg CC since she was 10 months, cut night time feeds at 12. I still had someone the other day telling me that dd should sleep through and what to do. Grrr all babies are different. We are fine. I wasn't even asking for advice!

Dd bf through the night at 6 weeks co sleeping with me. People should not be asking it a six week old sleeps through. Great if they do but most don't and just puts pressure on new mums.

I have 4 dc. Only one of them slept through before 18m. I'm not sure why dd1 slept through as I did nothing different with her, just a fluke I guess. My youngest is 7m and still has a feed 3/4am so weaning hasn't helped in the slightest. I'm not expecting her to sleep through anytime soon.

YABU

Babies don't sleep through the night, that's their right. Adults are knackered and are allowed moan about tiredness, that's their right.

"Babies don't sleep through the night, that's their right. Adults are knackered and are allowed moan about tiredness, that's their right."

:o

Eggggsackly

Seriously Dawn? You want to say 'horrid, horrid' things to an exhausted mother with a 6 week old baby? Have you forgotten the complete torture of having a newborn and being chronically sleep-deprived?

Why don't you say some 'horrid, horrid' things to her so she can tell you to fuck right off?

And OP YABU. Unless you've had a newborn in the last 6 months you have just forgotten what it feels like, especially the first few weeks with PFB when you have NOTHING to compare it to and you feel like you might actually die of misery and exhaustion. The fact that people tell you that you'll be tired is meaningless because most people have never experienced that level of exhaustion before having a baby. Experiencing it is a bit different to having a chat about it.