Is DP BU to cancel maintenance payments to ex...

[missymarmite]

If he gets fined for her taking their 2 kids out of school for a weeks holiday with her partner.

It would only be until his share of the fine has been paid off. This is in light of the recent court case where a couple got taken to court and have to pay nearly a grand for taking their kids out on holiday. Apparently each parent is liable, even non-resident ones who have done nothing wrong! Why should our family suffer for HER holiday!

It's wrong for you , your dh and dc to suffer because of the exwife, but if that's wrong then surely it is wrong for the 2 children who live with the ex to be punished for something they have no control over either.

That argument is irrational unless you are also going to argue that the LEA (or anyone else who takes money from the ex's household income) is punishing the children for something they have no control out of.

no control out of

You have been told what to so, write tot he school.

Nobody knows that writing to the school will make the slightest bit of difference. I doubt that it will actually.

Wallison Guy was in inverted comma's because it was a reference to the term you used which came across as flippant, impersonal and disrepectful.

I am assuming, as the OP hasn't mentioned it, that her DH's ex does not pay maintenance for the eldest child that lives with them therefore cancelling out the need for the DH to pay maintenance for one of the younger children that have remained with their mother - thus the £120 is effectively for one child.

Let's face it, it would lack a considerable amount of common sense for her DH to send £240 for the two youngest just for his ex to send £120 back for the eldest wouldn't it?

Maybe the OP can clarify (and also incidentally, OP is your DSD's mom planning on contributing to that school trip?)

Yanbu

If the mum and new partner are going on holiday then they're hardly on the breadline. So any talk of making the children suffer is ridiculous.

Op, I would inform the mum that if there is a fine issued, all payments of maintenance will stop until it's repaid.

The action seems fair to me but I would give her notice so that she has the chance to change her mind and not go.

Definitely go to the school and ensure they note that his consent isn't given. Don't know how it works but surely they can't fine him for his ex doing something that he opposes but can't prevent without a court order... Hope it gets sorted for you OP.

In answer to BloominNora's question;

I am assuming, as the OP hasn't mentioned it, that her DH's ex does not pay maintenance for the eldest child that lives with them therefore cancelling out the need for the DH to pay maintenance for one of the younger children that have remained with their mother - thus the £120 is effectively for one child.

Yes, that is it exactly.

Let's face it, it would lack a considerable amount of common sense for her DH to send £240 for the two youngest just for his ex to send £120 back for the eldest wouldn't it?

Also true

Maybe the OP can clarify (and also incidentally, OP is your DSD's mom planning on contributing to that school trip?)

No, she isn't. In fact, last time the middle DSD was offered a school trip her mother wouldn't pay for it, so we did because we felt sorry for the child, she was really upset.

This should not be about money it should be about the children.

I would have much more sympathy for you and your dh if you were concerned about the children missing a week's education, not £120.

I would love to be in a position to not have to worry about money, believe me. But losing that sum of money is a significant amount for us, and will impact all 4 children negatively. The youngest will also suffer when we cannot afford to do things with them when they come to stay with us every other weekend, or feed them healthily, not to mention the eldest 2 who live with us who will also miss out on a lot.

And yes, I am livid about them being taken out of school, but if I had said that I would be slated for being an interfering step-mother, overstepping the boundaries, what-right-do-I-have-to-judge-a-mother's-choices-for- her -children!

You're right, you'd end up flamed! I think you and your partners course of action is the right one. Hopefully it won't come to that and they'll be no fine.