to think that having 3 kids would not be much harder than having 2.

[deliverdaniel]

I have 2 DC's- age 3 and 4 months. With my first I had PND and found the transition to motherhood really really hard. I then hit my stride as he grew up a bit, and started to love the whole thing and we recently had DS2. I think I"m probably in the crazy hormonal blissed out stage and not thinking rationally but I am desperate for a third child. I feel as though the transition from 0-1 child was so hard for me that nothing could ever feel that hard again, and once we are on the bandwagon of having kids- sleep deprivation/ no social life etc we might as well go for broke. My DH thinks that a third would be a nightmare of extra work and we wouldn't be able to cope. Honest opinions please. Thank you.

same as you, i struggled after dc1, felt amazing after 2 and decided to have 3. It's great but dp was fully on board, i think you would need to totally agree with one another.

This thread is really bringing back memories. One at primary, one at preschool and a newborn is incredibly hard work. Trying to get the older two ready, while the newborn is screaming and then having to fit in a quick bf before leaving the house, all without being late.

I'm sure my dd3 never slept properly because she was always being carted here there and everywhere as a baby - or maybe she was just a difficult sleeper. Who knows. She never slept properly, that's a fact. I wouldn't be without her for the world - but I just know my life would be so much more serene if I'd stuck at two.

Babysitting is another good point. My mum is the only babysitter I have - luckily she is local and willing - but worth bearing in mind.

God, I'm gloomy tonight. My dog is ill so I'm

I have actually just had a lovely evening/bedtime with my three - a large family is nice - hard work - but good. Sometimes nice to outnumber others You have a 'gang' as someone said on the other thread.

I shouldn't have read this

Pregnant with number three and was so excited. Now i'm scared.

'you could offer me a million pounds and a night with George clooney and I still would never ever have another one.'

hmmmm. I don't know about this, I think that combo could pretty much sway me into another child...or joining the Hare Krishna...or even going to soft play, well for a short time.

Mid, don't be freaked out. It has its own rewards.

As someone else said my older two get on so well with the baby that it kind of joins them together in a way they never were before. Also ds3 is the image in personality and in appearance of ds1 - but 10 years apart - which gives ds1 a perspective on his own little life so far and how gorgeous he really was even though I found him very hard work.

He can see now that it was never his fault. Also I no longer have that sense of 'I needed another one'. I waited till I was 38 to get pregnant and couldn't have feasibly left it much longer. I don't have that anxiety now.

middle OP wanted to be put off having a third

Check out the best things about having three threads, completely different tone

I love having three and found it easy compared to a lot of the mums who have posted (SAHM with very, very hands on helpful husband) but on this thread we were asked to be honest about the absolute worst bits

When I was pregnant with number three there was an advert which featured the song "three is a magic number" that's how I felt then and I still do now

Middle - Don't be upset. People were giving OP a reality check about having 3 because she asked for one and her new baby is only 4 months old. I'm sure most people are glad to have their third it's just that there are some hard bits that you shouldn't just wander into in a new baby haze. Good luck with your baby :)

0-1 was definitely the worst. 1-2 threw up different issues of sharing time fairly. By the time ds arrived both girls were sort of resigned to sharing. He arrived though just after dd1 started school so getting used to a school run with a baby took time but I did it. Youngest will start school soon and definitely getting easier. Absolutely no regrets. We just asked ourselves what we would regret more at 70 - a hectic few years or not knowing. I would say though that at 4 months I was broody again with all of mine - I am sure it was hormones as the feeling died back again for a while. I would get to at least 6 months if you can before deciding.

DD was just talking about this yesterday. Told a friend on facebook who was contemplating a third that the third is really hard. After that it is a breeze.

DD has 5.

I must add that No. 3 is a very old soul. Just turned 6, a beautiful quirky, intelligent child.

Hogwash I know just what you mean. I only had one of each and when I see DD's brood of 5 all helping each other I feel so proud of the whole family.

I tend to group them in "lots". The two older ones (DD and DS) then the "Two little free range girls" and then "The baby" who is now 2.5 so I guess I'll have to stop referring to him as the baby.

These threads always make me feel a bit sad. I think having 3 dcs is wonderful. Some things are a bit more work but a lot of the day to day stuff (eg cooking) is the same as you would do for one or two children anyway.

My 3 are a proper little gang and it's fab.

I think the same ShoeWhore. I think having 1,2,4 or more would also be hard work.

Don't be sad, ShoeWhore, and don't be scared, Middle. The op asked whether having 3 was much harder than 2 - which imo it is!

I too love having 3 and wouldn't change it for the world, but it is a million times harder than i thought it would be.

You see I don't think it is hazey - but then I didn't have two for very long so maybe I can't remember

So much is down to circumstances, ages and personalities, Shoe.

When ds was 1 and dds were 4 and 5 and ds wasn't able to sit or eat and he didn't sleep - well I might have had a moment where I thought 'What The Fuck Have I Done!!!' but most of the time it is amazing, tiring, but amazing.

I found 2-3 harder than 1-2 but that's mainly because the age gap was smaller (5 years between first two then only 18 months between two and three).

I wouldn't be without dc3 though. She is entirely different from the other two, so funny and is proper cheeky. Not like dd1 who is very quiet and shy.

The only times I've struggled is when I've felt a little outnumbered. A trip to the woods, three dc's and only one pair of hands is not an easy task.

There's a 9 year gap between dd2 and dd3.
This age gap meant that dd1 and dd2 were indepedent.
This has made the world of difference.
I've only got dd3 at home on school days. In the holidays the eldest two often see friends and sort out what they want to do.
Laundry is never ending!
It's expensive.
Luckily we have a big house and can afford for me to mostly be sahm. If We both had to work long hours and look after 3 kids, I think it would finish us both off!

I had 3 DC's in 3 years. Everyone's situation is different so I'm not sure if my experiences would apply to you. Mine are now 10, 8 and a half and 7. It's relentless, exhausting and expensive, not to mention the strain on your relationship. My bunch weren't really planned but I'm lucky to have a very wonderful DH. I work part time from home.

If you want 3 then go for it but be prepared for a long haul. Try to get as much family support as you can. Things change pretty quickly as they get older and you can esily lose sight when they are very small that you will need big enough accommodation, car, food budget, childcare perhaps and holiday fund to run a larger family happily.

In my experience, dealing with them as babies , yes I found 1- 2 was indeed harder but not as they all get older. Because I had them so close, I actually find it more difficult now coping with homework, organising after school activities, being a constant referee, housework, ( omg the washing!) The endless demands from the primary school every single day drive me positively insane. Our weekends as well are busier than the weekdays now it feels!

I had kids with my eyes wide shut and stupidly didn't think much about how much it would cost to pay for all their needs past baby/toddlerhood. Or how difficult it is to get good childcare for 3 so you can have a meal out with your partner even just once a year. If you have plenty of family support and a good income then fine. It's your decision but perhaps wait another few months if you can. It is lovely to have 3 and I am very blessed indeed despite my moaning here!

It's your decision of course but if you can wait longer it might give you more time to think carefully about what you want and prepare. Society in general doesn't encourage larger families at the moment so it can feel quite isolating as everyone expects you to cope in the same way with 3 children as you do with 1 no matter what your circumstances IYSWIM! I hope it works out well for you and I personally don't regret even for one minute my er... 'crowd' lol! Good luck :)

Just to clarify: I am mostly a SAHM mum too, apart from maybe 10-12 hours per week working from hone. We could never afford the childcare for 3 , not here in Greater London anyway. School hours are only 9-3.20! My teacher's wage would never have covered all the childcare / transport costs. We looked at it so many times and it just didnt pay. My husband works in town and so am reliant on his salary mostly. I would love to go back to secondary teaching but I knew I would never cope with that stress and 3 little people with no family help nearby. I am not unhappy but I am sad I had to give up my career. I think once you have that 3rd child, it's even more difficult than ever to juggle career and motherhood.

Mine are now 12.10, 10.5 and 8.7 and they rarely get on. The older two get on okay, the middle one is horrible to the younger one. The younger one just wants the other two to like him never mind love him .

I'm one of three and - whilst I love my brother & sister dearly - I hated how thinly my parents were spread, and how one-on-one time was rare. It's also difficult now we're adults to all get together - we're all married with DC, so 15 people including our parents. Too big to all fit in one of our houses! Feel we're growing apart a bit as a result. One of the reasons I want to stick at two DC is so when they're adults they can both come & stay with us at the same time with their own children.