to think that having 3 kids would not be much harder than having 2.

[deliverdaniel]

I have 2 DC's- age 3 and 4 months. With my first I had PND and found the transition to motherhood really really hard. I then hit my stride as he grew up a bit, and started to love the whole thing and we recently had DS2. I think I"m probably in the crazy hormonal blissed out stage and not thinking rationally but I am desperate for a third child. I feel as though the transition from 0-1 child was so hard for me that nothing could ever feel that hard again, and once we are on the bandwagon of having kids- sleep deprivation/ no social life etc we might as well go for broke. My DH thinks that a third would be a nightmare of extra work and we wouldn't be able to cope. Honest opinions please. Thank you.

Hahahaha

YAB naive, sorry.

3 kids is 50% more work than 2. You go from one hand for each child, to not enough. The washing mountain never goes away, later on you have 3 sets of uniform, swimming lessons, school trips, after school clubs etc to sort out the cost and logistics of.

I have four. 0 to 1 was the hardest change in many ways. 1-2 was lovely, and by far the easiest despite a refluxy baby. 2-3 had me on my knees with crippling exhaustion. At one point I thought the baby fog would never pass. The first year is a blur. 3-4 was easier, as we were already completely overwhelmed, so one more I the chaos didn't make as much difference. 2-3 was definitely the tipping point. I wouldn't change a thing, but don't kid yourself.

2-3 was very very hard. all so demanding and over different things. there's no point looking back but 2 was a breeze.

I always sneak the 3rd into premier inns and travel lodge type hotels

I have two, and Although i think having 3 older children and adult DcS would be lovely, the reali of what I have seen of parenting 3 really puts me off.

Tye people i know who seem to love it don't mind chaos and tend to let the 3rd one get on with it to a large extent, but i think I would find being pulled in 3directions very hard.

Also, with three or more it is practically impossible for all to be happy simultaneously. Someone always wants something, and two will want to do an activity, whilst one objects...

On the plus, they do get lots of opportunities to share, take turns and compromise, so I reckon have the makings of good citizens

We had 3 in 4 years. I found it a lot harder having 3 than 2 in the first 6 months.
But after that, I don't think we're finding having 3 harder than many people find 2. We don't have a huge age gap so they are usually pretty compatible in activities, childcare, interests. We operate a "one for all" rule - if one does judo, all are encouraged to go. If one does swimming, all go at the same time or as close as we can manage. No encouragement of individual pursuits (unless at the same place and time)! So that helps with running around the place.

It does cost more. Obviously. We already had space in house and car, and reusable nappies, and breastfed, so the new baby didn't cost so much, but now we have to pay for 5 lots of everything and they eat proper meals when out, it gets expensive.

You obviously haven't met my DC3, OP.

Personally I think the biggest drawback is the cost - and trying to find a hotel room for 5 which isn't the pent house suite at ££££ or a tent isn't that easy. (very happy to be proven wrong though!)

I have a 10 year old 8 year old and 16mth. It has been relatively easy due to the firxt tso being older. The big difference is the laubdry znd housework. I had much more time to do it when older 2 were at school. I work part time, erratic hours. I am the wrong side of t0 but 3rd child was a happy accident!

First two.

40. Flipping tablet.

Our third is also spoilt

I have 4 children. Going from 1-2 was the biggest jump for me.

The hardest thing about having more children is that there is more opportunity for everything to go wrong. More potential for arguments, more chance of at least someone waking at night, more interruptions, more accidents to avoid, more homework, more washing.

The best thing is having more people to love.

Have a lurk on the larger families board and you can see some pros and cons!

My dc are 6, 5, and 18 months. Number 4 is due in april. The gap between 2 and 3 would have been much smaller but struggled to conceive.

I found 0-1 totally traumatising,
1-2 actually made things easier, even with only 14 months gap!
2-3 has been genuinely lovely,
3-4... well I am quite nervous, and now definitely relegated to camping holidays and stupidly large cars.. but I wouldn't change things for the world.

All terrible sleepers, 2 rubbish eaters, but I think finding the first one so hard has made everything else easier :)

Christ No. I'm finding it hard enough to persuade DP for a second!!!!Think he would leave if I suggested three....

Sounds like your DH's heart isn't in it, and you're in the blissed-out baby phase.

Think seriously about what it would be like if you had PND again with your third, or if your third had any kind of health issues that required a lot more care than your first two.

It could be wonderful, or it could be very difficult to add a third child to your family, but do make sure your DH is 100% on board with the idea before you proceed.

OP - I thought the same. The biggest change must be from 1 to 2, so how much harder can 3 be?

Well - the answer is VERY. My god, it's hard bloody work. DS2 is a very chilled out kid so we were lulled into a false sense of security....DS3 soon put us straight!

Ours are 10, 5 and nearly 3 and I am finally getting some sleep (not enough though).

Reasons we found it hard:

1. there are 3 of them and you only have 2 hands - when you hold their hand to cross the road you have a spare loose child

2. when they all 3 play up and you have 2 parents, 1 takes 1 child each and there is a still 1 left creating havoc

3. they don't fit in the car! We had to buy a Picasso which we hate and I can't fit the whole family in my car as it only has 4 seats.

4. holidays are much more expensive (not that we can afford any, but still)

5. entry prices / season tickets for families to places seem to be 2 adults plus 2 children, so once the youngest is old enough to pay it gets expensive

6. somehow, the overall emotional energy needed to parent 3 is so so much more than 2. Not sure how, but there you go.

Reasons we love it:

1. when they all pile on top of DH on the settee and bury him under arms, legs and cushions!

2. when DS3 cuddles you and says Mummy you are my best friend, I love you.

We were warned by several people who have 3 that it was a darn sight harder than it should be, but we ignored it and went ahead anyway.

Bottom line - the difficulty passes, the love doesn't. If you really want it, go for it.

the transition may not be more difficult (I also found 2-3 easier than 1-2) but the practicalities are an issue

bigger car ...I couldn't fit 3 kids and 2 adults in my Mini - or a Focus - eventually got a mum buss

You never have just one each - one of you need to have 2 at all times - or one has all 3 if you want a break (ex refused point blank to take all three kids out ever as it was too hard)

Rooms - sharing is fine when little but now mine are older they are desperate for their own space - and we have none!

I am a lone parent now and I wouldn't change them for the world but the do present challenges!

The women I know with three kids always look miserable. I have two...you could offer me a million pounds and a night with George clooney and I still would never ever have another one.

I don't think coping should be what we're aiming for in life. Having a nice pleasant time should be. I'm sure I would cope with a third but I have a lovely time with my two and in sticking with that!

Rooms - sharing is fine when little but now mine are older they are desperate for their own space - and we have none!

Agree with gordy ds2-16 was, and continues to be pissed off that he will never have his own room seeing as ds1-18 didn't do university.

I think I'm in the minority here in saying YANBU. I wonder why. It might be Stockholm syndrome so don't listen to me OP.

The women I know with three kids always look miserable.

Oi not me, I was a babe!

I have 3, youngest was born 2 months after oldest turned 4. I love having 3, dc3 was a very easy baby so didn't find it too bad.

I admit only read the title .

I have 3. Someone told me that 2-3 was no big deal.

IME the lied.

Some days I wish I only had two but then I know I would feel like we weren't a real family and actually we should have four (I lost one baby.)

Mine are 26 months and 22 months apart and it is hard at times though tbh I think a lot of that is due to me being crap, their personalities and the situations we have found ourselves in.