to think that having 3 kids would not be much harder than having 2.

[deliverdaniel]

I have 2 DC's- age 3 and 4 months. With my first I had PND and found the transition to motherhood really really hard. I then hit my stride as he grew up a bit, and started to love the whole thing and we recently had DS2. I think I"m probably in the crazy hormonal blissed out stage and not thinking rationally but I am desperate for a third child. I feel as though the transition from 0-1 child was so hard for me that nothing could ever feel that hard again, and once we are on the bandwagon of having kids- sleep deprivation/ no social life etc we might as well go for broke. My DH thinks that a third would be a nightmare of extra work and we wouldn't be able to cope. Honest opinions please. Thank you.

I think it depends on the Baby/toddler/child personality. My first was a perfect laid back dream, my second was a whirlwind with reflux, my third was even more horizontal then the first, the 4th was similar

We have two boys, 5 & 3, and DD is 9wks old. Early days obviously, but the one word that comes to mind is HECTIC.

I'm a SAHM and BF the baby and there are times where I just can't do it all. Take this evening, for example. Got utterly drowned on the school run home. Got indoors and took DD out of the sling where she promptly woke up and started howling. DS1 started pestering for food immediately and DS2 went onto the potty (training) and had an episode that resulted in him coming to me with a hand smeared in crap. DD was still howling because I hadn't actually taken my sodden coat off yet.

Times like that, it feels very hard. However, those moments are rare and it's actually fine most of the time (so far!) The boys dote on DD and we just feel "complete" now

OP I was similar - after ds2 I just knew that I would go for no 3. It's the baby-lurve hormones

I did have no.3 - but with a 3.5 year age gap - and to be honest, it was much harder work than I thought it would be. Saying that, I'd never go back In a lot of ways I'd have liked to have 4. But I know it would kill me.

I haven't read the thread but honestly OP 3 is so fucking hard is has almost broken me. Dc are 5.7, 4 and 15 months. I am on the edge. Constantly. Think long and hard. I found one and two easy.

Can I just wave at the fellow single parents of three?! nice to see I'm not alone! Now are 5, 2.1 and 12 weeks ... it's bloody hard work!

From a slightly different perspective as a mum of DS1 who is in his 20's and left home ant two teenage sons I have loved it. Obviously very busy when they were young but those years flew by. We have been lucky enough not to have to worry about the cost of raising a fairly big family which has helped. But it is definitely a massive consideration like others have said.
I do think it's a hormone thing though OP and wait a few more months at least and really listen to your husband's wishes.

Have three, 6, 4 and 2.6 years old. It is hard work and I do have to say that whilst I desperately wanted 3 I do look at people with 2 kids and envy them a little bit as their lives look so much more civilised and organised. Having 3 can be utter chaos at times even when 2 adults are around as one will always be left out or to their on devices...
BUT- if you want 3 and feel like you are not done yet with your two little ones I would say go for it as I am sure it must be harder to always have regrets about not having another one. Good luck whatever you decide!

2 to 3 was hardest jump for me (I had 2 under 2, 3 under 5, 4 under 9)

Wanted to add that I would definitely NOT have 3 if your husband isn't up for it as you absolutely need BOTH parents to cooperate looking after 3 little ones. I have the upmost respect and take my hat off to all the single parents out there with 3 (or more) children- I have no idea how you cope on your own!!!!

Trouble is OP, right now, you'll only be able to listen to your hormones

I have 3. Yes you'd cope, yes you'll love them all, yes it's do-able.

My goodness you get stretched though. Picture yourself as pastry; the more kids you have, the thinner and thinner you get rolled out. Everyone needs a piece of you, and they all want the largest.

It's not the bigger car, or the bigger buggy, or the paying for 3 entry tickets on days out.

It's as they get bigger. 1 wants to do Art club but the other has violin and the youngest can't be left with anyone. 1 is sick but you still have 2 others who are not, and then they all fall ill in succession? When you want/need to get back to work? Even if you're ok with camping/travel lodge holidays, because holidays don't cater for 2 + 3, the logistics of trying to please everyone and give each child enough time and the ability to pursue their own interests and hobbies gets harder and harder.

Realistically though, people only really appreciate how much easier having 2 was when they've got 3.

And peggylane is right. Now I have 3 DC and I'm on my own, because the 'D'H has cracked and left us. Easy for him.

I have read the thread now and it made me want to cry. I am not the only one who struggles with three after all but it makes me sad as I know we should have stopped at two and it just makes me feel crap as I love dc3 but it was one too many .

Had a difficult day and it has been another after previous bad ones with the same issues and it seems like they will never end.

I'd like to say it gets easier as they get older - but I'm not actually sure it does

Youngest is 6 now and dividing my time between them is really hard - getting all the homework/reading books etc done, activities that suit them all... mega juggling act.

Mine are 12, 9 and 6. It's the constant squabbling that gets me down now It is easier once you can ditch nappies/pushchair/baby food and you no longer fear them running into the road, though. I'll say that

Realistically though, people only really appreciate how much easier having 2 was when they've got 3.

You are so right- 4paws!

Toffee, it does end when they get older. You wait and see. The love you get back is so imense.

I think I've aged in dog years since having my 3rd!

For me it depends on the type of DC. Having number 3 has helped our family work better. He's so cheery and smiley and unites us all (no pressure DS!) whereas DD2 is a crap sleeper, fussy eater, headstrong, tantrums about everything and clashes with DS1. DS1 is older, at school and happy with minecraft. What unites the two older ones is their total adoration for the baby and they all play very sweetly together.

But I need a new car and we moved house !

Though I shout at least once a day ...

I hope so creamycooke. I sometimes wonder if mine even like me.

I used to be so close to DS1 and he was my little buddy and then DC3 came along and made DS1 seem enormous and like he didn't need me anymore. He is 12.11 now and I hardly see him, all he does is roll his eyes and I miss my buddy .

sorry - creamycooler

I don't find 3 more stressful, but logistically it's trickier. We have to have a large car for the car seats (3 aged 4 and under) and the laundry is never ending. I love the dynamic within our family though and the way they play together like a litter of puppies!

Oh yes I had forgotten about the laundry ( blocked it out of my mind). It's bad.

Yes laundry. I've accepted there will always be a pile somewhere

I have 3 (ds1 is three, dd is 17 months and ds2 is ten weeks) and I found 1-2 much trickier than 2-3.

however, it depends on the individual children.

all three of mine have slept through from early on, quite placid natured etc so that's obviously helped.

the two babies are no bother, it's the three year old who's hard work .

I found going from 1 to 2 the hardest. Even 0 to 1 was easy.

I had dc3 in November and its been the easiest. With dc2 I was so desperate for a baby (I'd suffered 4 mc's) that pregnancy was just like an experiment and then when he came along I had no idea what to do and I'm pretty sure I had some form of PND looking back. He was also very fussy and cried a lot...had reflux...wouldn't sleep in his pushchair or in the car...screamed a lot. He's still like this but getting better slowly!

Workload wise, it's not that much more. Just a few more bits of clothes in the wash and one extra little person to bathe. I just generally get on with the other two as normal. For me, I've become more organised as I know nothing will get done if I leave it. I'm very lucky in that my baby is probably the best sleeper ever (so far! Don't want to jinx it!), I'm getting 5-6 hours of unbroken sleep a night, and it's amazing how much difference a nights sleep makes to your health and well being. I'm also much more experienced now so know what to do and expect.

The problem is, you never know what kind of baby you'll get. It's a bit of a gamble really when you make the decision.

I watch a friend of mine push her twins in the double buggy to school with her 2 year old perched on the front and her 4 year old trailing behind her.

I can't say that finding out number three was actually twins was good news. Be careful what you wish for...