to think older teens should be made to watch what an abortion is in PHSE. (sorry possibly triggering)

[StraightLineOfResignation]

I know this may be controversial but I have thought this for some time.
Abortion is legal in this country but still straight forward , informative talks about it are clouded by morality and judgement and at the end of the day, sometimes people need to have one in tragic circumstances i.e people who are made critically ill by pregnancy.
And are often as well as already scared and sad, i don't think most people make this decision lightly, are woefully underprepared which i'm sure must only add to emotional trauma.
and of course there are too many potential uninterested fathers who just utter 'get rid of it' at the hearing of potentially being a father, so disgustingly flippantly like throwing a crisp packet in the bin, I do think if they especially had seen a medical video of the procedure, well i think the number of people who just thrown that term around would be significantly less, if they had actually seen that image with their own eyes , and would be less detached from the idea and process.
I'm talking older teens , like 16+ here , not 11 year olds.
my mum and i have always though this, i would find it traumatising and pretty shocking, but compared to people who feel shame, go backstreet putting themselves at risk and people who go through with pregnancies they did not want/need. Surely a bit of discomfort is better then that being a legacy of another generation.

rainydarkskies - you sum it up perfectly. I was young and my termination was not my choice. In hindsight I know it was the best decision but at the time it just felt so out of my control. immediately afterwards I felt such relief, like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders but a few months down the line when I had digested everything that had happened I just went off the rails. Like you, I do think it is the circumstances surrounding the termination that still upset me so much - for some reason I punish myself for feeling that way though as though I think I should suffer self punishment and it's not right that I don't feel like i did something wrong. Every year when the anniversary of the termination comes round I force myself to sit down in a quiet room and re-live it and think about what I did. Earlier this year I had a complete emotional breakdown whilst telling my DH about it. One year I realised the 'anniversary date' had passed and I'd forgotten and I felt angry at myself and that somehow I was doing the 'baby that never was' an injustice. It's bizarre really. But like you said, I genuinely think it is the circumstances surrounding the termination have scarred me as opposed to the actual termination itself.

Why is putting women off abortions seen as a good thing ?

Because it takes away our control over our bodies .

We're just walking sacks of meat , that should be for mens convenience and control . < sarcasm >

Personal choice , nobodys business except the woman / girl .
Wish some would see brainwashing is more damaging than abortions to women .

The only abortions that are bad are the ones that have forced, or the back street abortions that happen in diffrent parts of the world.

The rest I believe a women have made an informed choice and for them the abortion is a good decision.

Writer, that's really sad. I'm so sorry you were in that situation. Pro-choice should mean exactly and precisely that. Really angry for you that you were not allowed to make that choice for yourself, and in your own time.

Given that one in three, approaching one in two, women in the UK will have a termination at some point in their lives, to try to inculcate guilt in women about this is women-hating bile, really.

Given that one in three, approaching one in two, women in the UK will have a termination at some point in their lives, to try to inculcate guilt in women about this is women-hating bile, really.

Exactly saggy.

Doctors will in the main, explain the procedure, without getting hysterical about it and using emotive language. Obviously there's a minority who can't do that.

Abortions can be very traumatic for some women. Not all. It depends on why an abortion is being sought.

Showing graphic videos surely only seeks to make women feel horrendous guilt, whether the abortion is needed for medical reasons or due to personal choice, whatever that may be. Unnecessary.

Thanks perfectstorm - it was my mom who made the decision for me. I told her I was pregnant, she told me having a baby wouldn't do me any good and the next day she had me down a clinic to start the process of termination. I wasn't allowed to tell anyone else....which was hard because all I wanted to do was tell my dad. On the day of the termination when she drove me to the clinic I was crying in the car and she didn't even ask me if I was ok. The termination happened within 3 weeks of me telling my mom I was pregnant and in that time I just sat quietly and let it all happen around me, I don't think I really accepted what was happening. Hence why a few months down the line it hit me really hard. The whole thing was never really mentioned again at home, I was left to just deal with it. I remember once, many years after the termination my mom made a reference to it (I can't remember in what context) and she referred to it as, "That trouble you caused." No wonder I still feel shame about it all

We'll as someone who felt forced into a abortion at age 15 after being raped which had life threatening complications I wish I had been more educated about how abortion can effect some people. It is the biggest regret of my life.

I wish someone had sat down and told me my options instead everyone refused to support me in keeping the baby and I had no idea how to go about what I wanted alone. I'm all for educating teens on their options should they become pg.

Writer. So sorry for your pain. How old were you?

We did have to watch this, repeatedly (very strict Catholic school). It didn't stop numerous girls getting pregnant.

Working on teenage girls' self-esteem will be far more effective in reducing the number of unwanted pregnancies.

when I had my appendix out no one forced me to watch an appendectomy first - nor have I been made to watch D+C's or C-Sections

Abortion is a legal MEDICAL choice - there is no NEED to watch one before making a legal medical choice to undergo a medical procedure

Educate young people properly rather than lazy shock tactics

I have always 100% supported sex education in school. DD is now in Y7 and they've just started this year's take on it (more biology involved now). I've never been one of those parents who find it unnecessary and opt out of it.

I would opt DD out of watching an abortion video that contained any kind of graphic imagery because it is wholly unnecessary and serves no other purpose than being a scare tactic.

You, OP, have no grounds for your argument.

And I have RTFT

I was hospitalised for a month following the damage I did to myself after going through that abortion alone.

Crowler - I was 16 and still in Secondary School - that's a whole other issue as I'm sure you can imagine how vile other students were to me when the news broke It happened with a long term boyfriend who I loved (in the 'first love' experience of teenagers) and I was completely stopped from seeing him. From the day I told my mom I never saw him again, so I had that heartbreak too. Admittedly, me and the boyfriend had been careless and stupid, I'm making no excuses for the fact I ended up in that position, but the whole thing was just awful.

Like I said, in hindsight I do think my mom made the right decision for me and I'm sure if I'd been allowed to make my own choice I would have taken the same route, but the fact I was being forced into it without ever being asked what I wanted, well it just ruined me. when my mom took me to the clinic she bought my sister along and said they'd go on a shopping whilst I was 'in there' (as the clinic was in a very naice shopping area)and then she'd come and pick me up afterwards. Thanks mom.

I'm having a medical abortion next week. I don't need to see a video, I'm not an irresponsible teenager and I have perfectly legitimate reasons for my decision.

All reasons are legitimate. Showing some poor hormonal young girl a grim video may guilt her into having a baby that's not wanted and potentially ruining her life. Also no two procedures will have the same outcome. There could be variations in feelings, blood loss, what is seen when the foetus comes away etc. there is no standard way for it to happen and a video will not help in any way.

Young women need to feel better about themselves and know how to protect themselves. Too often as a teenager you rely on a bloke to bring a condom as you'd feel cheap buying them yourselves or admitting you're on the pill.

I am a known poster on here and have told this before.

My DH (now deceased) had cancer, we had three DD's, two with SN. We also had an endowment mortgage that was inadequate, we were one of the many that were mid-sold numerous policies, negative equity etc.

I had planned all of my DD's, struggled to conceive my second, had MC's, studied how a foetus develops, all aspects of pregnancy, getting and staying pregnant had been an aim for 10 years.

I fell pregnant, contraception failure, whilst my DH was Ill, I was working in a low paid job, we had no choice but to terminate the pregnancy.

I had to wait until I was 10 weeks to have it done, i knew what I was getting rid of and it was a full sibling to my other three.

The other women on my ward were in similar positions, we were not young/uniformed and had to go home and look at a little person who, what we had got rid of probably would of looked like.

My DD's got good sex education at school and through after school clubs etc (and I filled in the gaps), if that isn't happening then that needs changing.

The OP's idea is ridiculous and abusive and would serve no purpose, other than to emotionally abuse already vulnerable girls (in some cases).

PHSE should work on self esteem and making positive choices, as well as what should happen in healthy/respectful relationships, that is how to cut down on the teen pregnancy rate.

Linerunner - I was quoting another poster who said "tough shit". As you were! :)

Writer, apols if I have it wrong but aren't you pg now? If I am right, it can stir up all sorts of feelings about things that have gone before, including terminations where the woman didn't feel fully in control of the situation*. Please be kind to yourself and don't hesitate to seek some support either on RL or here if that's the case. Apols if I have posters mixed up.

*As I said above, I absolutely refute the idea that all women deeply regret having a termination, but it is clear that writer does regret the circumstances around hers, which is why I wish to offer my support to her.

OP I did read RTFT. You said this:

if they especially had seen a medical video of the procedure

i would find it traumatising and pretty shocking

And then you tried to take it back by saying:

it doesn't have to be graphic

The "Force them to watch it and they'll stop having abortions" is a standard pro-life ploy.

I see no reason to persuade anyone not to have an abortion.

selfdestructivelady- I'm sorry you are suffering, maybe you could find someone to talk to IRL and that might help?

I only said tough. I was being awfully restrained.

And anyway, posters shouldn't and as far as I know don't get to have threads deleted because they don't like the responses.

And the moral of this thread: don't be a goady cunt if you can't take the responses.

What problem are you trying to solve by your suggestion?

Thanks Wilson - that's really lovely. Yes I am pregnant now and I was so nervous when we conceived as I really thought it would stir up some really horrible feelings of guilt but surprisingly it hasn't. I have no idea why but I actually seem to have found some comfort in this pregnancy and I feel like I've made some peace with myself - I don't understand the logic at all. I feel so happy and excited about this baby and it feels liberating to be 'allowed' to experience these emotions. I'm really hoping that when the baby comes it won't trigger anything but like you said, I guess there is potential. Fingers crossed not though.