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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have not put make up on dd?

292 replies

selfdestructivelady · 13/01/2014 10:11

We went to a children's birthday party Saturday. All the little girls had make up on and all the parents were saying how pretty each other's dds make up looked. Dd is 4 yo the others were aged 4-5 they had nail polish eyeshadow and lip gloss on.

OP posts:
IceBeing · 13/01/2014 16:49

This fails the sexism test for me...

Q. Would it be thought of as acceptable for boys to do?
A. no.

If it isn't good enough for boys then it isn't good enough for my DD.

pictish · 13/01/2014 16:50

I do draw the line at high heels. Wink

AllDirections · 13/01/2014 16:50

YANBU if you're talking about real make-up, so blusher, foundation, eye-shadow, etc.

YABU if you're talking about nail varnish and a little bit of lip gloss. As long as the child asked for it and parents are not telling their DC that they need it on so they look pretty, then I can't see the problem with it. It's more about wanting to be like mum than wanting to change their appearance IMO.

pictish · 13/01/2014 16:52

Ice - the sexism test? I'm afraid you'll have to elaborate on that one for me.

mrsjay · 13/01/2014 16:57

the sexisim test is can boys and girls both do whatever

mrsjay · 13/01/2014 16:59

I did too. I had a little Tinkerbell make up set, and I loved it. I was about 4/5 when I had it.

OOO I WONDER IF AVON STILL DO TINERBELL MAKE UP

mrsjay · 13/01/2014 16:59

Tinkerbell obviously

MrsOakenshield · 13/01/2014 17:02

Ice - what??

Weelady77 · 13/01/2014 17:02

Mrsjay I remember those little sets tooSmile

mrsjay · 13/01/2014 17:04

I loved them and it used to smell of sweeties if i remember right

Pawprint · 13/01/2014 17:04

I think that is way too young. If it's for fun and dressing up, that's one thing. If they are wearing make up to go to a party, then that is wrong IMO.

Weelady77 · 13/01/2014 17:05

Yip your right

pictish · 13/01/2014 17:05

Well...I do offer to paint ds2's nails as well (he's 6), but he doesn't want it.
Why should that mean dd misses out on something she enjoys? I don't quite understand the premise of it.

Is it thought of as conventionally acceptable for a boy to wear a dress? No.
Does Ice's daughter wear dresses? I assume so.

My daughter likes dressing up as a fairy, but my son doesn't. Am I supposed to ban the fairy outfit?

I don't get it.

pictish · 13/01/2014 17:09

You do remember right. It was a little red vanity case as I recall. And a little perfume as well.
Fond memories. Smile

mrsjay · 13/01/2014 17:15

yes thats right had a little case to go along with it the perfume had the little stick to dab on I am sure i had powder with a puff as well Smile meh it did me no harm,

pictish · 13/01/2014 17:19

Yy to the dab on perfume and the powder puff! I am grinning away at this mutual recall. Smile
Did me no harm either. Not whatsoever. It doesn't stop me from climbing trees, getting muddy, playing with Lego or tearing about on my bike with my wee pals of both genders either.
No idea what all the fuss is about.

pictish · 13/01/2014 17:20

didn't stop me - not doesn't - ha ha!

mrsjay · 13/01/2014 17:23

bet you are looking to restock your tinkerbell perfume as i type Pictish

i smell great as i played with my cousins evil kenevil and planet on the ape and used to launch them down the stairs

Bootycall · 13/01/2014 17:26

never come across parents putting makeup on their dds aged 4 really. it's definatly not a widespread phenomena I don't think.

lots of 4 year olds like nail varnish a eye shadow and apply it themselves. it's like fancy dress and fine for a party. and lots if girls like 'makeover type princess parties'

but it's your call.

KellyElly · 13/01/2014 17:26

If they are wearing make up to go to a party, then that is wrong IMO But for little kids a party is play and dress up, so what's the difference from doing it at home? School/nursery no, but I would have thought a party was the exact place they would want to put a bit of sparkle on.

Bootycall · 13/01/2014 17:29

ice will you keep to these rules as they get older?

so if your son doesn't like something then your dd doesn't get to like it either?

pictish · 13/01/2014 17:34

Kelly - of course it is. It's a bit of flippant fun, and neither I or any of my mum pals take it remotely seriously. Nothing wrong with getting sparkled up for a party at all...if they enjoy it, what's the problem? It harms no one.

mrsjay · 14/01/2014 09:43

you are right pictish and i never understand why people are so offended at little girls liking traditional little girl things

IceBeing · 14/01/2014 10:01

pictish no my DD does not wear dresses.

DD got a long lecture from a slightly older girl at the swimming pool this week about how she was wearing the wrong colour (blue/green) if she was really a girl and how important it was to be able to tell if the sea creatures on her costume were male or female which she couldn't do as they were in realistic colours not pink/blue. She went on further to explain that it helps to know which things are for girls and boys...like cars don't come in pink because they aren't for girls....the older girl was just 4 btw and DD is 2.5 yo.

It isn't good enough that boys could wear pink and could wear make up. In general they don't because boys would never lower themselves to engage in girls activities.

So I reiterate if it isn't considered good enough for boys (by the overwhelming majority of boys/ parents of boys) then it isn't good enough for DD.

IceBeing · 14/01/2014 10:02

mrsjay I know you don't get it....if you worked in a male environment where you get paid less for doing the same job and have a lower promotion chances when at the same level as your male colleagues simple because you are female then you might.

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