To be angry at DP's comment about lefthandedness

[Skoggy]

We have recently started DD1 on using knife and fork for dinner. She is doing alright with it but keeps having a problem when starting the meal as to which utensil goes in what hand.

Personally, I'm of the frame of mind that she holds them in whatever hand is comfortable for her. She is 2½. DP insists, point blankly, that she holds them the way righthanded people do as, and I quote "The other way is the wrong way. She needs to learn how to do it properly". This made me stupidly angry because I am lefthanded.

Are there some people out there who still think that being a lefty is wrong?

DD is right handed and uses her cutlery left handed.

Somethingkind - yes, I have tried it. Funnily enough - after I last posted, I went off and tried and yes, I think I use them equally and I can do it in a socially acceptable way.

DH is left handed and uses his knife in his right hand and his fork in his left, the same as me. He was not caned or punished to get him to do this.

I checked Debretts too.

Some people are more one handed than others though, I cannot cut with the knife in my right hand at all, I lack the co-ordination with my right hand. I think left handed people tend to be less ambidextrous than right handed people, IME anyhow, so I don't think you can really compare. This of course doesn't apply to everyone.

I cannot write, catch, lift and control things (ie kettle) properly with my right hand, I do everything left handed including using the tv remote, turning the key in the front door, stirring tea and so on. I guess with practise I could improve my right hand coordination but I am left handed so don't believe I need to do that to please arrogant and ignorant people.

Another right hander who holds my cutlery the left handed way. Had years if parents and gparents trying to get me to do it the "right" way. Never understood why!!

Have to admit I can't do it, it's not natural to me at all. I will also admit to being very defensive of DS having defended him from IL's bullying before now because of it. funny thing is that we've been complemented on all of the DC's table manners when out so when I say I don't understand it, I genuinly don't! Debretts is a great site, full of stuff you will need to know for your next society ball...

He is being unreasonable, ignorant, discriminatory and offensive together with several idiots on here.

There is no right or wrong hand for cutlery - end of. There is ignorant social convention based on way the majority right handed population do it but surely we are more enlightened now? We don't tell gay people to be straight anymore, they follow their natural instincts, are afforded ( or should be) the same respect and the same should be true for left handedness.

For crying out loud not only is it the absolute height of bad manners to insist that a person subscribe to a manner of doing things that is physically unnatural to them but for a child it is totally unjustifiable. Imo its abusive.

I can't believe in this day and age there are still such ignorant people around.

I completely agree Wishful.

If eating with the knife in the right hand is nothing to do with handedness, please explain why you cannot find left handed fish knives. They are designed for right handed people.

I have never been able to use them correctly as it just ends up in a mess.

Littlefish Sun 12-Jan-14 16:36:27
But surely, using a knife and fork together requires control with both hands equally. Therefore, the argument about needed to use the knife in the left hand is invalid. It is good manners and etiquette to use the knife in the right hand and the fork in the left.

As you use a fork differently to a knife, your own argument is invalid. You may be using both hands at the same time, but they do different things.

I can't see that it matters.

I do loathe the American habit of chopping up the food first and then using the fork like a shovel. Looks uncouth and one step up from ramming it in with mouh your fingers

If someone did that in a formal setting, I'd pull my best catsbum face!

Despite being righthanded, I eat lefthanded too. I don't think it matters, no one notices when I swap the knife and fork over. My left handed DH eats righthanded. I didn't even notice this until this evening when I looked while he was eating dinner .

Seems a silly thing to make a big deal over in my opinion.

it's this about left handedness though? outer is our about the culturally 'normal' practice of Dirk in left, knife in right? in Indonesia people eat with a spoon and fork. spoon on the right. in America you use your right hand with a fork. o don't think handedness has anything to do with it. we've already heard from numerous right handed people who use the opposite way and left handed people who use the standard way. forcing someone to use a fork on left, knife on right is nut the same as forcing a left handed person to write with their right.
mind you, personally I don't care which way round people eat. like I said, in Indonesia you have the fourth in the left but never put it to your mouth. you use it to scoop the food onto the spoon in your right hand and bring that to the mouth. I don't think it's wrong to teach your toddler the standard way of doing it, though I would be relatively relaxed about the rules at 2.5 years.

I'm a leftie...fork in left, knife in right. Spoon in left. Eating spag bol is a bloody nightmare.

Agree with others, seems a silly thing to get upset over.

learnasyougo the standard way of doing things came about BECAUSE the majority of people are right handed, so naturally the social functions would focus on that.

In today's world we should avoid becoming too fossilised in our social conventions. Now that we are (mostly) not forcing left handed people into using their right hand we need to let people be comfortable in using whichever hand they want.

Being left or right handed has no bearing on whether a person has good or bad table manners.

FWIW, I have seen many, many right handed children who eat with their mouths open, elbows jogging their neighbours at table, and many other poor manners who simply haven't been taught to be neat and tidy, not throw food, etc.

Learning those kind of manners is far, far more important than which hand you use to hold a knife.

But Compos why is pushing and mashing food onto the back of a fork better?

My son comes from a line of 4 left handed males. There is a LOT of pressure for him to be left handed. We may be tying his right hand behind his back!

Because it slows down the speed of eating to a civilised pace, so you can't gobble it down, minimises the risk of food going everywhere/dropping off the fork and there isnt a food and grease stained knife lying about the place.

ComposHat The north american hand switching method is slower than the european method, so I don't get why you think it slows people down. The only north americans I've ever seen who come close to eating as fast as most brits are those lefties who don't switch hands and keep their forks in the left to put it in.

I eat the 'wrong' way even though i am right handed. I think so long as she has table manners (well, as she grows up!) then who gives a shit?

Slower overall yes George as the cutting takes up up time. But when it is all cut up then it looks like like feeding time at the zoo. I have No American friends from university and loved them dearly, but watching them eat was torture.

No should read North.

Barack Obama is left-handed. I think the article means he uses cutlery in the left-handed way American style, which means he holds the fork in his left hand to get the food to his mouth, contrary to the way right-handed Americans do it.

Well, their mammas taught them wrong, Compshat. You're not supposed to cut it up all at once, but one dainty bite at a time.

Sorry, that should be ComposHat.