To be angry at DP's comment about lefthandedness

[Skoggy]

We have recently started DD1 on using knife and fork for dinner. She is doing alright with it but keeps having a problem when starting the meal as to which utensil goes in what hand.

Personally, I'm of the frame of mind that she holds them in whatever hand is comfortable for her. She is 2½. DP insists, point blankly, that she holds them the way righthanded people do as, and I quote "The other way is the wrong way. She needs to learn how to do it properly". This made me stupidly angry because I am lefthanded.

Are there some people out there who still think that being a lefty is wrong?

Ridiculous argument. it's food. Get it to mouth cleanly and chew with mouth closed.

For table laying the knife and fork should always go with the knife on the right

While eating it does not make a difference, while cutting your food you knife should be in your strongest hand for cutting. It would be natural to then put your fork holding hand straight to your mouth

If you are eating soup or "scooping" your food then it should be in your strong hand, ie your right hand if you are right handed

All in my own opinion obviously

That is how I show four year olds how to use a knife and fork for school dinners

I'm left handed and I do both, but as a kid I was very much knife in the left hand.

Annunziata is frankly being discrimatory, neither is wrong.

Eating peas off the back of your knife, though, that's wrong.

Let her be as leftie as she wants to be, we are the best.

Mitchell2 - I remember my Nan kicking off in a restaurant once because they didn't have "fish knives"

Jeezo, I'm just delighted if DS eats anything, couldn't give a shit what hand the fork is in!

I was that child who could write both left and right handed and the teacher asked my Mum if she had a preference. My Mum said whichever my daughter prefers but I was made to sit on my left hand in school.

I write right handed but I seem to do a lot of left handed things. Personally I would ask any child of mine to hold their fork in their left hand and their knife in their right no matter what hand they wrote with.

The majority of the world are right handed and the world is geared for right handed people. If I sat next to someone with their knife in their left hand surely we would bump elbows if we were both cutting a lovely juicy steak.

It isn't just about setting the table in your own house but in restaurants the table is laid out with the knives on the right.

Here's a weird thing.

A few days ago I discovered that dh, a right hander, always uses cutlery in the left handed style. I have been eating meals with him for 25 years and never noticed.

Do I win a prize for extreme not caring about cutlery orientation?

I am left handed. My son is left handed. Your partner is an arse.

I'm left handed and eat with my cutlery the 'right' way. My husband is right handed and eats with his cutlery the 'left' way. One son is left handed and the other is right handed and I honestly have no idea which way round they hold their knives and forks.

It really doesn't matter as long as she can feed herself.

Your DH is being an arse, I'm afraid. Let her hold her cutlery however she likes. Wish I could get 2.5yo DS to use anything but his hands a knife and fork.

' if I ever start to worry about it, I think I'll shoot myself.'

'Anyone who thinks there is a correct way of using utensils is a bit of a twat'

This and this .

Lefties are the devils minions :)

I remember having problems at school because I was left handed. I write top to bottom rather than left to right but struggled to write 'properly' for years. If you DD wants to use her cutlery in the 'wrong' hands, let her, it is surely more important that she learns to hold the cutlery correctly and comfortably. Your HD is being unreasonable, this is the 21st century and we don't persecute left handers any more.

contented if I was at a place where I was sat that close to someone that it would happen, then it really wouldn't be a place in which dining etiquette actually mattered!

In all my years I have never had an issue with bumping someone I was dining with because I used a non-traditional cutlery set up.

are there still people out there who give a shit what hand other people use to eat with? blimey your DH seriously needs to get a grip - in either hand

my auntie had her hand tied at school she was in her 70s though and they used to whack her knuckles if she used her left hand anyway op I am right handed and use my cutlery the wrong way round it is just more comfortable for me I am obviously a manners pleb and tbh little ones need to grasp the whole concept first yanbu

I am actually at some people's comments.

I am left handed, I have always had my knife in my left hand and fork in my right, I am extremely left sided (if that makes sense) and I really would find it very hard to eat the other way round.

Both my DCs are right handed but eat the same way as me, I am guessing it is because I do or maybe they find it easier to have their fork in their right as they have more control eating.

I cannot believe this is an issue, how can it be wrong. I am waiting to speak to DS1s school as he was told off at school for eating with his cutlery the wrong way round and was told 'we do not eat like that at this school!'. I am livid about it but haven't had chance to speak to anyone yet.

zeno I was reading this thread and trying to think which way round dh (right handed), the dc (one of each) and I (lh) use our cutlery, and I honestly don't know for them (and for me had to mimic how I eat!)

So I'm with you on the not noticing front.

He wouldn't like me then not least because I would tell him to fuck off as I am left handed and eat with my knife in my left hand or what some knobs people call the 'wrong way'.

Went to a silver service wedding breakfast once and whenever I got up from my seat to go to the loo or to greet or meet someone etc. (this was before the food was served) the waitress whose station I was sat in kept putting my knife and fork back the 'right' way round every time she walked past checking the settings etc. I had moved them to suit me ready for my soon to be served. The third time she did this I had just sat down (again) and she proceeded to lean over me to 'correct' my place setting yet again.

Not particularly wanting to alienate someone about to serve me food (yes I have watched 'those' programmes ) I hissed at told her to leave them alone as I was the person using them and as I had moved them back three times it should be obvious by now I wanted them that way round.

I also had a teacher (catholic nun) who would knock the pencil out of my five year old left hand by rapping it with a ruler. Also would throw in that it was a 'sign of the devil' to write with your left hand for good measure. I think she would be on a list of some sort these days !

Fork in left hand, knife in right. Spoon in right hand for cereal or whatever.

I assumed everyone did that but just asked others in the room - one cuts things up but then moves fork to right hand to put into mouth, another uses the cutlery round the other way. So I suppose I don't care how anyone else eats because I've never seen either of them do that!

And so you swop them over if you need to surely? Weird.

I am right handed but have serious problems telling my left from my right, so when laying the table have to do the "L" shape with my hand to be sure I get it correct. My brother is left handed and so swops them over when he sits down. I've never noticed any problems when sitting next to him, don't think we've ever clashed elbows etc

OP I'd put your dd's knife and fork in the 'correct' hands because she is more likely to be right than left handed, but make sure she knows that if the other way works better for her it's a perfectly valid option. That seemed to work for ds, who turned out right handed but was unsure for a long time.

'are there still people out there who give a shit what hand other people use to eat with?'

On the last cutlery thread, someone said that when conducting job interviews over lunch they wouldn't employ anyone who used their cutlery in the wrong hands!

DH and DD2 are both left handed. DD is 4 and tbh I haven't bothered teaching her how to use a knife and fork yet but I wasn't intending for her to teach her to hold them the opposite way I do, DH doesn't do that and I never heard of anyone else doing that. I didn't think either action of knife or fork required so much dexterity it mattered. In the light of this, I'll talk to DH about it tonight.

That makes me feel better Liara. I felt that I had failed in spousal attentiveness, but at least now I know I'm not alone.

I dont have a favoured hand well i write with my right but i can do things withh both hands i thought everybody could