To be angry at DP's comment about lefthandedness

[Skoggy]

We have recently started DD1 on using knife and fork for dinner. She is doing alright with it but keeps having a problem when starting the meal as to which utensil goes in what hand.

Personally, I'm of the frame of mind that she holds them in whatever hand is comfortable for her. She is 2½. DP insists, point blankly, that she holds them the way righthanded people do as, and I quote "The other way is the wrong way. She needs to learn how to do it properly". This made me stupidly angry because I am lefthanded.

Are there some people out there who still think that being a lefty is wrong?

I don't know any left handed people who eat with their knife in their right hand, weirdly lots of my friends and colleagues are left handed, apparently it is something to do with working with numbers

I would not actually swap my cutlery over until I started eating as I find it a bit odd to do that (no idea why really) and if I had people round for dinner I would set my cutlery up the 'proper' way for me also and just swap when I began to eat. If it is just me, DH and the kids for dinner then I would set it up with the knife on the left for me and the kids.

Wow! Seriously?! There are still people out there with the opinion that using your cutlery the "lefty" way is rude and bad manners?! I am really at some of the comments.

As I said in my OP, I don't care which hand she has her knife in etc. as long as she is comfortable and learning how to eat using both hands and learning to cut her (extremely soft) food. I just didn't agree with DP telling her that it was wrong.

He's right handed... so what. I'm left handed... so what.

I cannot believe how many people on here are saying the left-handed way is wrong!

She should do it in whatever way is most comfortable and effective for her - end of. And your DP is an arse.

I am right handed but eat like a lefty. It just feels right.

Unless she's going for luncheon with the queen* or is going to grow up to be a spy and needs to blend in with conventional customs of the area, it really doesn't matter at all. Those things can be learned much later anyway.

Does your partner ever eat with his fork tines up? If he does, that's incorrect unless he puts his knife down. Does he eat soup pushing the spoon away? If not, that's also incorrect.

Me, I hold right handed but I hold my knife like a pencil (I have dinky widdle hands). Nobody has ever commented on it.

I know how to eat sushi, yakitori, noodles, Indian, Middle Eastern, etc. etc. correctly. I prefer to eat Western style fish with fish cutlery. I know how to use chopsticks.

Ultimately, as long as the food gets to the mouth without looking too much like a food bomb has gone off it really doesn't matter (apart from making sure you don't accidentally do the funeral chopsticks stuff; that's gross).

*I'd be willing to bet the queen wouldn't give a shit either.

mrsjay I can't even pour the kettle with my right hand

I'd only consider using cutlery the "left-handed" way rude if you were, for example, picking your teeth with your knife!

Surely she should do it the easiest way for her: when she gets older, there's plenty of time to learn how to be more polite and delicate about it, whichever hand she holds the utensils in.

FWIW, DS is, I think, right-handed (he tends to favour the right for colouring, high-fiving etc), but seems to like to use cutlery left-handedly. When he bothers to use cutlery, that is!

Your dh needs a hobby or is in a bad mood
I'm left handed and swap during my meal and am never consistent with either hand. It doesn't matter, I'd be surprised if many people even notice anyway.

Annunziata and others - spouting that sort of rubbish belongs to the last century, frankly.
I'm left handed and eat right handed because I was forced to at school.
People should eat the way round they are comfortable with.
(By the way, xh was also left handed but my dcs are right handed.)

Im predominatly a leftie slightly pour kettle left handed etc, but I and my Dp (a leftie) eat the "proper" way.

... However I'd also be livid with the school to say dc needed to eat the "proper" way. If they were otherwise eating correctly, nicely and quietly but just in opposite hands to other children.

^ yeah, toilet hand is a good example! I've been told off for that many times until I point out that:

a) I'm white (people forget)
b) We're not in a village in the Middle of Nowhere, India (or Pakistan).

It did actually cause problems for a cousin of a friend of mine. He has cerebral palsy affecting his right side more so needs to use his left more, except his family wouldn't allow him to.

Frankly I don't give a damn which hands people hold their cutlery in though afraid that for reasons I've never understood I do clock the 'pencil holders' - sorry lookatmybutt

My brother is left handed but eats as if right handed. To this day, as he thinks he's the odd one out, he will still lay the table with everyone else's cutlery the left way.

However, I do have one question, I have never seen anyone cut with knife and fork and then switch the fork. Surely this is more complicated? Genuinely curious, do you switch eachr bite or cut everything and then switch? What if you need to push something onto the fork? Naively confuddled...!

I've got a book here, somewhere, on food through the ages. I must see if I can find it, because I'm sure it mentioned when the standard knife-in-the-right-hand and fork-in-the-left-hand became the fashion. Maybe only in the last two or three centuries? And only for the (s)nobs, of course.

It matters not one jot which hand is used. What matters is that the little child gains confidence and pleasure in feeding herself. Young children often go through phases of using one hand or the other, until they figure out which they feel more comfortable using.

As long as DD isn't licking her knife clean at the end of a meal then I don't think it matters. I'm a leftie, my DH is a leftie, my DM is a leftie. We all hold the fork in the left and knife in the right. I grew up not knowing you could do it the other way round, I wasn't given the option. Now that I think of it I don't really cut food, I tend to tear it

lastnight - that technique of switching the fork is often the standard practice in the USA.

Lastnight, I may be wrong, but I think that the switching thing is the (polite) American way of doing it?

Oops, cross-posted!

Ah, thanks all! Need to broaden my horizons!

Lol at 'toilet hand'. I'm 3rd gen Indian (i.e. grandparents) and always forget my manners when eating with hands

bella I am a bit weird, my right hand is rubbish ha ha, may be all in my mind though!

I am really upset about the school thing but wasn't really sure if I was over reacting, DS (7) was pretty upset about it though.

Yes, in America I believe they cut their food with their knife in their right then put the knife down and just eat with a fork in their right.

I just don't understand why it matters. Let her do what's comfortable

Who really cares what hand is used. I would have told him to take himself from the table, and give himself a good kick into this centaury. Not only is he saying rubbish about his dd, but also the mother of his child.

I am left handed. I have recently been told that it is dirty to use my left hand to eat with because that is the hand you wipe with. The person who told me this was right handed. Shut the person up when I reminded them that it's not just eating, writing etc I do the opposite way round, but I do everything the opposite way round. For me to use my right hand would be dirty.

Well he would love our household then! I am right handed and eat the 'wrong' way and DH is left handed and eats the 'right' way. Can't get much more backward than that

I'm actually ambidextrous so do most things left handed but I write right handed as it's more legible. God only knows what our kids will be.

YANBU to let her choose the most comfortable way to eat. She's only 2 ffs.

My dad was beaten to within an inch of his life at school for using his left hand (Ireland in the 60's) so he writes now with his right hand but everything else he does with his left hand. I am also left handed but I am ambidextrous. I don't have a 'good' side at all so tend to use different hands for different things. I hold knife and fork with fork in right hand, iron with either hand depending how the board and iron are left out, tennis I could play with either hand and pour kettle with right.

andanotherthing123 i am mix handed too! Write with left but do most things with right. I can't switch over hands for things though can only write with left but only use right for doing other things like cutting with scissors.
About the op can the dd manage easily with the knife in right hand position, if so but she is just unsure i would teach her that way, as it does fit in with what others do, but if she can't manage let her do it her way.