To be angry at DP's comment about lefthandedness

[Skoggy]

We have recently started DD1 on using knife and fork for dinner. She is doing alright with it but keeps having a problem when starting the meal as to which utensil goes in what hand.

Personally, I'm of the frame of mind that she holds them in whatever hand is comfortable for her. She is 2½. DP insists, point blankly, that she holds them the way righthanded people do as, and I quote "The other way is the wrong way. She needs to learn how to do it properly". This made me stupidly angry because I am lefthanded.

Are there some people out there who still think that being a lefty is wrong?

Your daughter can choose which hands she holds her cutlery in, your DH however, will always be an imbecile.

I am a lefthander & its only recently that I was able to hold anything in my right hand. I couldn't even hold a spoon as I had no strength in my right hand to do the task. I need to cut with a knife & hold scissors with my left hand. I would certainly not question anyone being right handed eventhough I may think that they are doing things wrong

Tbh we eat most meals on the sofa with just a fork, but dd still manages well with table manners when out with naice people.

I can't imagine another thread where saying a physical genetic trait is wrong would be accepted, but it's ok to say that lefthandedness is wrong?

Of course it's modern - North Americans do the everything with the right (so cut with the right, put the knife down or swap hands so the fork is then used also in the right) Points clearly to it likely being victorian etiquette rather than it being age old.

In any case of course you let a 2 year old eat how they want, also a 10 year old and a 20 year old, at some point though you can explain there are snobs about and sometimes you should follow their etiquette as it's appropriate to not cause offence. Include all possible types though, not just the current snobby british way.

I'm left handed really strong left sided but I use my knife with my right hand. I sort of tear the food with my fork rather than neatly using my knife though. Not very graceful

Me: left handed but eats with my fork in the left hand and my knife in my right hand.

I am assuming this is because my mother (right-handed) taught me to do this because she is a right-hander - NOT because she thought left handedness was 'wrong' (my dad is a left-hander). In fact, until now, I didn't realise there was such as thing as a 'right way' or a 'wrong way' in sing kitchen utensils.

Now my way of thinking is that holiding the blade of a knife and the forks of a fork would be the 'wrong way'.

Knife slices/cuts food, fork picks up food, directs it at mouth, mouth eats. Now THAT is the right way.

Who gives a flying monkey what hand you hold your untensils in.

I would be interested if ANYONE could give me a perfectly reasonable explanations as to why it is 'wrong' for left-handers to have their utensils the 'wrong way round'.

Psst: I am still non the wiser as to which way is the 'wrong way' since I have been eating my food reasonably well for the past 34 years!!

He is being a dick. I am a leftie. My mum encouraged me to use cutlery the right handed way. However she explained it at the time to me that it would be easier for me as it's a right handed world and as most cutlery I came across would be right biased to get used to it would make my life easier. She always explained it wasn't right or wrong just the way it is. But if I had been adamant about it she would have left it.

Have to admit I look at people differently if they start to bang on about anything to do with left handedness, I'm not but DS is and we had many a row with certain members of DH's family about it. One particular person would start with the comments, reach over and swop his cutlery round to the 'right' way every time even though she knew he was very left handed (he does everything left handed, apart from swing a bat). Despite one of us defending him and telling her to stop everytime It got to the point that he refused to sit at a table with this person and he is still self conscious about eating in a group now.
It's pathetic how people still give a damn about what hand a person uses to write or eat with and it's one of very few things that makes me genuinely angry.

Pilgit

My Mum did the exactly the same thing for exactly the same reason with my brother and I.

I don't know about other lefties but I like being different! I think it used to be said that about 10% of people were left handed but that 2% were left handed with right handed parents which is what has happened in my family, parents both right handed, we're both left handed. My brother's two daughters are both right handed even though their Mum is also left handed.

Oh and I eat right handed for knife and fork and left handed for spoon but my brother does either and used to always lay the table left handed so even the same treatment gets different results. This has happened even though I am technically 'more' left handed than my brother.

I think it's a silly thing to worry about.

I don't understand how it can be bad manners, if you do not eat like an animal what on earth is wrong with it? I am genuinely interested.

I write with my right hand but eat with my knife and fork switched round. She may be early ambidextrous. Tell him to stop confusing her or he'll end with a daughter who only eats with her fingers....

HE ibvu!! She may well be left handed. Who is he to say it's "wrong"?! My friend recently found out that her little boys school has been spending more time trying to force him to write with his right hand instead of actually helping him learn with his "chosen" left. It's appalling, especially in this day and age. Why does anybody give a shit?!

the proper habits, not bad ones

Jeez louise.

I once told a mother (about 15 years ago) that her daughter that I had been babysitting was picking up her crayons with her left hand "maybe she'll be left-handed!" She reacted with utter horror!

I agree with you that you should help her HOLD them (the way she grips for instance), but not dictate what hand she holds them in.

I write and throw (do NOT throw well!) with my left but do about everything else with my right... by product of living in a right handed world I think. I crochet and knit right handed because mum would stand behind me to show me what to do.

As for cutlery. When cutting food my knife is in my left hand, fork in right. When using a spoon or "scooping" food with my fork, the instrument is in my left hand.

i am left handed but eat with my knife in right hand, i would but knife in left hand to chop veg carve meat but have always eaten with knife and fork the same as Rh people, can't say iI find it awkward, however if just eating with spoon use left hand

both me and Dh are left handed but DD age 4 is definitely right handed, I think this is definitely a case of "don't sweat the small stuff"

Mmm.

My mum's mum was taught that writing with her right hand was nothing to do with handedness, it was just good manners. I have her cookery books and she had a beautiful italic script. So why does it matter that she was considered stupid and caned at school, eh?

Thank goodness my niece won't face any such idiocy about 'it's just manners'.

Bones, I would still prefer my DCs to eat the 'wrong' way if it means they can cut their food easier etc, their table manners (and other manners) are very good so I guess that is why it doesn't worry me.

We do the fine dining/silver service thing with the DCs every few months and no one has ever commented but they must be rolling their eyes behind our backs I actually think they are impressed with the behaviour of the DCs at dinner as many do not know how to behave, at least that is the only thing we have received comments about.

YABVU. This has nothing whatsoever to do with left or righthandedness, it's about the correct way to hold a knife and fork. And I am a leftie.

You can only "favour" one hand over the other if you are doing something that only needs one hand, like writing. If you are using 2 hands, it's just a question of learning/developing the dexterity of operating 2 tools at the same time.

I correct my kids constantly if they hold their knife/fork in the wrong hand (they're all righthanded), it just looks so awful. Exactly the same as I correct them if they talk with their mouths full, eat with their mouths open, etc etc. It's just basic manners. I am amazed at how many people on here think this is unimportant.

This is how I was brought up... both my parents were professionals (law/accountancy) and it was just drummed into me how important these things are in business. But perhaps not so much now. That said, as part of my recruitment process for a big accountancy firm, I was taken out for lunch for an "off the record chat". And although I am quite sure I was not judged on my table manners, I am quite sure that this formed part of the overall impression I gave, alongside more important things.

I don't give a flying fuck if anyone thinks that bringing kids up to have good table manners and to know the right way to hold a knife and fork is old fashioned and outdated. Perhaps we could do away with cutlery altogether and just go back to eating with fingers. Actually, I do let my kids eat pizza with their fingers... but I have to leave the room as I can't watch! Seriously. Maybe I have issues...