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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take dd out of school

243 replies

Whatwouldmumdo · 07/01/2014 23:59

Name changed.
Ok we've had a rubbish Xmas health wise and a number of very stressful events recently. It's taken it's toll on myself dh and dd (11).
We need a break, we really do but funds are right and it's a long time until half term anyway.
There are some great deals if we travel in the next couple of weeks, as in a week away with Travel etc for less than £400. We'd get some sun, some peace and it is just what all three of is need.

Dd is doing very well at school, exceeding all targets set for her. We've taken her out of school (with permission) for a long weekend holiday once before but that was years ago and she's since moved school.

I hear that the new school is quite strict about this.

What exactly can the school do if we take her out without permission?

If we go, I'm not inclined to encourage her to lie and say she was ill so if we did go away we'd be facing their reaction head on.

I know that school is important and a privilege and I'm not taking her missing school lightly. The decision isn't yet made but I do think it would be beneficial to her after such a rough few weeks.

OP posts:
Original poster
Whatwouldmumdo · 08/01/2014 00:00

Sorry, posted before I checked for spelling and grammatical mistakes. Don't hate me Smile

OP posts:
TheNightIsDark · 08/01/2014 00:01

They'd fine you. She would be missing gcse stuff wouldn't she? Personally I would take her but budget the cost of the fines in. It's not, in the schools opinion, a valid reason to miss education.

softlysoftly · 08/01/2014 00:02

Educating is supremely important and you need to ensure she understands it requires dedication.

Having said that you need to live life and be a family too so I'd be tempted, though would not tell her to lie.

Where can you get a deal under £400

Original poster
Whatwouldmumdo · 08/01/2014 00:02

No she's 11 so still in primary school, not GCSE work. What would the fine be?

OP posts:
softlysoftly · 08/01/2014 00:02

*education

The irony!_

TheNightIsDark · 08/01/2014 00:03

Sorry my brain read 14 for some reasonBlush

Go for it then!

Original poster
Whatwouldmumdo · 08/01/2014 00:04

softly we searched for flights and accommodation separately. That's the secret Smile

OP posts:
SuffolkNWhat · 08/01/2014 00:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Whatwouldmumdo · 08/01/2014 00:07

suffolk yep
There are two events that week that parts of her class are being take. Out of school for, dd isn't involved on those particular teams so she would be in class.
I'm taking this as meaning they wouldn't be doing hard core revision that week?

OP posts:
Original poster
Whatwouldmumdo · 08/01/2014 00:08

Oh my the autocorrect mistakes! Sorry Blush

OP posts:
Goldmandra · 08/01/2014 00:09

We took DD1 out of school for lots of holidays and even trips to Legoland when she was younger. She is the most committed sixth form student possible with a brilliant work ethic and will go a long way to avoid missing even one lesson these days.

Children can generally tell the difference between missing time in primary and missing important GCSE or sixth form lessons.

Do what's right for your family.

Original poster
Whatwouldmumdo · 08/01/2014 00:13

I think we'll end up going but what sort of £££ are we looking at if they decide to fine us and where does the money go?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 08/01/2014 00:13

I know that school is important and a privilege and I'm not taking her missing school lightly. The decision isn't yet made but I do think it would be beneficial to her after such a rough few weeks.

I'm sorry you've had a rough few weeks but yes you are taking her missing school lightly.

They've got another week off in just over 5 weeks and this is her SATs year.

You can always have a few weekends away together in the UK if you want to chill.

SoonToBeSix · 08/01/2014 00:16

Don't worry about Sats they are for the school not the child. Fine is £60 per child per parent .

SuffolkNWhat · 08/01/2014 00:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Whatwouldmumdo · 08/01/2014 00:19

suffolk haha! Noted

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 08/01/2014 00:19

From September 2013 the fines will be £60 per child per parent if paid within 21 days, and £120 if paid between 22 and 28 days. If the fine is not paid, parents will be reported for prosecution.

So £120 if paid within 21 days.

Original poster
Whatwouldmumdo · 08/01/2014 00:24

Worra we only have one dd.

I think I need to speak to her teacher. She's doing really well and wouldn't just be sat on a sun lounger. We like to explore when we go away so she'd learn a lot. I'm a firm believer that not all learning happens in the classroom but I don't know whether her teacher will feel the same Hmm

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 08/01/2014 00:29

Yes I know you only have one DD but it's per child per parent.

Obviously it's up to you but please don't trot out the 'not all learning happens in the classroom' line unless you want to see the teacher roll their eyes like there's no tomorrow.

You're right of course, not all learning does happen in the classroom...it also happens after 3pm on a school day and at weekends and school holidays.

whitesugar · 08/01/2014 00:31

Just do it. She could have come down with tonsilitis or something that required a week off. She will of course make up the time. If your family is under stress take the time to de-stress and enjoy yourselves. If you can't afford the fine work out a way to pay it off. Life is too short for this kind of stress. She is 11, you won't be able to do this when she gets to secondary school so do it now. Enjoy yourselves.

Original poster
Whatwouldmumdo · 08/01/2014 00:32

Worra so both me and my xp would be liable to pay?

I'm not trotting it out by the way, I do think it's a valid point.

OP posts:
tildamouse · 08/01/2014 00:35

Don't do it. She's in her SATS year. She'll miss valuable work that will lead to her becoming anxious at falling behind. Are you doing this for.you or her?

Original poster
Whatwouldmumdo · 08/01/2014 00:47

tilda for all three of us. I don't want her to feel anxious about school, but equally I hope that a short break might be beneficial.

We've suffered a bereavement and some relationship issues with her grandmother are causing a lot of anxiety for her and yes for me too. We've all been unwell and we're just drained and out of sorts.

We're very good at talking, we talk a lot and I don't feel she's bottling things up, just that as a unit we could do with some time and space and don't really want to wait 5 weeks.

OP posts:
LittleDoris · 08/01/2014 00:51

I think its a flimsy reason. I am sure you all have had a stressful time, and I know how much that can affect you all, individually and as a family. But stil. School is school.

I really don't agree with the fine system and the authorised absence bullshit. But I still think its just a way of getting a holiday on the cheap.

LittleDoris · 08/01/2014 00:53

Xposts.

Flimsy is a bit flippant regarding bereavement. I apologise for that.

But it doesn't really change my opinion.

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