To be upset by my friend saying this? Or am I over reacting?

[Slh122]

Yesterday at my 36 week MW appointment the midwife told me it feels like the baby has turned breech. I'm going for a scan on Thursday to confirm baby's position and then she said the consultant will offer me an ECV, otherwise I'll be booked in for a c section at 39 weeks.
I was talking about it with my friend today (she had a baby last month) and told her that I was planning on saying no to the ECV as I don't feel comfortable with it or the risks associated. She then said 'why would you willingly choose to have a c section?' And started going on about all the women on her post natal ward who had had c sections - apparently 'all of them' had infections from the op and only 2 of them had been able to hold their baby more than once in over a week. She then went on to tell me about what an accomplishment it was for her to give birth naturally, and how she'd never allow a c section as she'd feel the experience would have been 'stolen' from her.
AIBU to feel upset by what she said or am I over thinking things and over reacting? I feel like just not speaking to her anymore.

Sorry for the kisses I was distracted there

I don't think you're over-reacting but sometimes women do/say crazy things in the months after having children. She's may be falling apart inside and clinging to her natural labour as the one thing she's got right about this parenting malarkey. Though if she's being like this about labour, I wonder what she'll be like when your baby is here...she'll have to learn to hold her tongue. Re: infections - I had a section and was fine afterwards. No infection, very little pain, no stress and a good night's sleep the night before. Highly recommend. I couldn't care too hoots about people 'achieved' natural labour. Would we call them brave if they chose to have their teeth out without anaesthesia?

Your friend is a fuckwit.... But we all know that...

I've had 4 csections. It is not how I would have liked it, I'd love a vaginal birth. In fact, I have had a vaginal birth, my first daughter, but sadly she was stillborn. My c sections were a medical requirement. I had am emcs with the first for fetal distress. Second section was for placenta previa. And so subsequent babies were sections also.

I recovered marvoullously from all of them. I held my babies straight away in all instances, I breastfeed them all. In a busy london hospital, you are left on your own and I did have to manage my babies all the time.

My fourth section was difficult to recover from, I did get an infection and I was readmitted. C-sections are risky, but what is the alternative. I definately would not have an ECV and I would tell my friend to go fuck herself.

A word of warning, I think you friend may turn out to be pretty bloody annoying and competitive when your baby comes along.

Good luck, and know that many on this thread have said they would do exactly what you are doing in your position.

Btw, I've had two emcs and had no problem holding and bfing my babies. I did have to have antibiotics both times for wound infections, but they were relatively minor and didn't impede my recovery. I was up and about both times fairly quickly, and was only in hospital 2 nights with ds1 and 1 night with ds2.

your friend is a self rightious dickhead. CS imho is loads safer than ECV. friend had ECV. baby went into distress nearly died at birth. left with CP.

YANBU. Your friend is being an insensitive idiot.

I had 2 vbs and was happy to avoid a cs, but if my circumstances had meant that a cs would have been safer for me / baby, I would have made the same choice you have and gone for a cs.

I had an awful VB, then a fab CS...the only infection I ever got was in a nipple from BFing...dd bit me.
good luck OP!

She is being a twat. I had unstable lie, induction and emcs. I was home drinking a large g&t after 3 days. Baby was fine, I was fine. I regretted the GA part - as in I wasn't awake to see the baby born for a while, have to admit - but nearly 10 years on it doesn't matter any more. A nice planned CS will be fine - your health and wellbeing and that of the baby is all that is important.

Agree with everything that's been said, she's a twunt.

Couple of things though... don't believe baby is breech yet, mistakes can be made.

Also, if baby is breech, there's still time to try to turn them yourself , Google spinning babies

As everyone else says.. pah to her!
Also - I'd probably try and avoid her a bit after you've had your baby too.. She seems like one who may feel that being 6 weeks or so ahead of you makes her an expert..

your friend is a tool.

who gives a toss so long as mum and baby are ok?

A friend of mine had a CS and always jokes that she was "too posh to push" in a tongue in cheek way.

She didn't request a section, but had to have one for medical reasons, perhaps you could use that line if you do indeed need a CS, should you ever want to talk to her again.

Some people are utter knobs, and act like there is some sort of hierarchy of giving birth.

I nearly died having Dd vaginally. I have been told in no uncertain times that next time I will be having a cesarean- quite frankly, that seems a reasonable price to pay to avoid what happened last time.

*sorry, your friend is an area- your birth, your choice.

My mum is convinced (rightly or wrongly) that ECv caused my sister's prem birth and subsequent cerebral palsy so made me promise not to have it. I had a forceps birth and a crash section so have never experienced 'proper' birth but you know what, I have two happy healthy girls and could not care less. I think I would avoid forceps if given the option though, not good for the pelvic floor and I think it was a major contributing factor in my failure to breast feed due to dd1's poor sore little head.

My boy was breech,and as it turns out an ECV wasn't an option as my bump was so solid due to excess amniotic fluid,but I would have refused it anyway - I just wasn't comfortable with the idea. My section was relaxed and calm,and I was up and about pretty much as normal after 24 hours,off painkillers after a week,and back at work a few hours a week after two weeks. I've never had trouble looking after my baby because of it either. Your friend sounds like a massive tool I'm afraid!

YANBU and your friend is being an arse.

I'm all for vaginal birth I had two VBACs after my EMCS but I would not be letting anyone attempt an ECV on me either. Yes, the aftermath of the CS was worse than the aftermath of the VBs, but not hideously so (no infections here, and perfectly able to hold baby), and I don't feel any differently about the two birth experiences (except that we have better pictures from the cs because anaesthetists turn out to have not a huge amount to do during a cs and double as surprisingly talented photographers).

I suspect your friend's only going to become more and more of an "expert" on everything baby-related -- you could look on this incident as a good thing because it's warned you off before you were tempted to take any of her other advice, maybe?

Ok, so she gave birth through her fanjo. And now she's spewing shite from her arse.

Your baby your choice.

I had an Emcs and drove to the hospital a week later for the stitches to be removed. It's not all doom and gloom.

I do think there's a fine line to be trod between promoting a natural childbirth as a positive thing, and demonising potentially life saving medical/surgical intervention.

Your "friend" is not the best person to advise you. Her anecdotes are not terribly convincing, in any case. She should let HCPs advise you, and keep her nastiness and scaremongering to herself.

Oh, and my DC are 14, 12 and 9, and I rarely even think of their births.

I was offered an ECV I didnt even need to think twice about my response. No way was I putting my baby through such stress regardless of whether it mean cs or vb. Ignore your dumbass friend.

What a cow. I hate that attitude that just because one person had a vb every vb is a walk in the park. I struggled with this after a terrible vaginal delivery with ds because everyone (seemed) to be saying that it'd be a walk in the park, and there was me in pretty constant pain and barely able to hobble around the house for six weeks. I felt like a bit of a failure whereas in actual fact I was just part of a group of women who have complications.

Your friend is being insensitive and stupid!

I had my ds by emcs 6 weeks ago after 42 hours in labour. Was told I could have forceps but decided before labour that I definitely didn't want that.

My ds was 9lb 6oz, I was getting up later the same day to the bathroom and did all the care of my son myself.

I had him on a wed and went home on the fri.

No infection and although I was sore particularly for the first two weeks I still managed and since then have been pretty much back to normal.

I'm now driving again and absolutely fine.

It doesn't matter one jot how a baby is born.

Do what you feel is best for you and your baby.

Good luck xx

YANBU to be pissed off with the comment. That said, having had full labour incl pushing and forceps, an emergency section and a planned section I would choose labour over a c section any day. Everyone has different experiences but in general the recovery from a c section is remarkably slower than from a vaginal birth.

As a story of hope ds2 turned breach at 36 weeks and had turned back by himself by my 38wk scan. I didn't feel either him turning breach or turning back and he was 10lbs at birth so not small! There is a chance baby will right him/herself.

Good luck with it all.

I had EMcs with ds1 and unexpected vaginal delivery with ds2. Your friend is talking nonsense. I held and fed ds1 straight away although dh had to do the first nappy change . No infection etc. And for the record it took a lot longer to recover from the discomfort of stitches from vb than from cs. Ignore her.

Medic said to me that any birth which results in healthy mother and child is regarded as a successful birth.