To have used the disabled loo today :(

[peking]

An embarrassing moment.

Was in our public library when suddenly overcome with an urgent need to go (Crohn's - thought it was under control but I guess Christmas has messed things up).

There were two toilets - one disabled which also held the only nappy-changing facility there, and one toilet on its own. The single toilet was engaged so I dashed into the disabled. I took some time as I felt really shaky and couldn't stand up for a few minutes.

About halfway through I could hear a toddler crying on the other side and the father trying to placate him as he needed his nappy changed. The toddler probably had to wait about 5 mins.

When I finally got out the father shouted after me "you're out of order, you're not even disabled!"

How mortifying. I just had to ignore him but felt awful for the toddler. As many MN'ers have probably come across people taking up the disabled/nappy-changing facilities before, AIBU?

Sad how people with disabilities are still seen as 'other' and an 'inconvenience'.

Why should I justify myself to you. There are many good reasons why a woman would not use a men's toilet, religious, they may be wary of men due to sexual assault, or rape, or may have had bad experiences with men.

So rather than asking in the ladies of you could go first, presuming there was a queue, you'd be quite happy to make disabled people (who all have to share 1 toilet) wait?

There is also a reason a women shouldn't use a disabled toilet: not having a disability.

OP obviously does have one, so she is perfectly within her rights to use it.

Nothing wrong if you are about to poo your pants or be sick, if you can wait 5 mins than it's not ok to use the disabled loo.

Julie this is why everything got heated last time because some idiots think it's okay to use such questionable language/phrases as the deleted one .

What if there is no disabled person waiting and it's free, but there are women already in the cubicles, are you going to turf them out mid pee or poo.

How many healthy people often poo their pants? Come on, honestly?

Accessible toilets have come about as a result of the DDA. Clearly people with a disability should be provided for as someone without is. Not providing accessible facilities is discrimination. There is no law that states an able bodied person can't use the facility if required. What I've been trying to say on here is that yes, I would use it if was the only cubicle available and I didn't want to wait. There are many people who suffer with symptoms of IBS or similar condition but who haven't actually been diagnosed with the condition to date who I personally feel qualify to use the disabled facilities. You know your own body and whether or not you're fit to wait. Common sense tells us when and if to use these facilities, it is not black and white as far as I'm concerned.

What would you have done prior to the campaigning that brought about facilities for people with disabilities?

The person hurrying to the toilet, in the same situation as the OP today, is not going to have a flashing beacon on their head! You won't know who in the vicinity has a legitimate need for the disabled toilet.

Some can suddenly come on with a bug when out, or they eaten something dodgy. Or it just comes, not often . I've never used a disabled toilet for myself, but have with dd who has ASD

He may well have been disabled and I didn't say disabled people can't hold down jobs. Dont start putting words in my mouth please. But when he did come out he apologised

I agree Randy

How does he know who's disabled and who isn't! What an arse!!

If it was a choice between soiling myself or using it then I'm sorry but I would.

But if it was simply because I didn't want to wait for another cubicle then that's just ridiculous.

Disabilities are limiting enough without other people making it worse

I know plenty of otherwise healthy people who have pooed their pants when suffering from sudden diahorrea. Flipping hell, there's a whole famous thread about poo on a skirt on MN with loads of sudden poo stories, so it's not that uncommon!

I am not disabled but does anyone seriously thinks if I am out and (eg)have eaten something dodgy the night before and there is an empty disabled or baby change loo empty with no sign of anyone heading for it , I am just going to shit myself, then sorry but ya know

Glitz- I just said that about the job in case your reasoning was 'he can't be disabled because he works here'.

And if you acknowledge that he may have been disabled then YWBU to be annoyed about the wait. The fact that he apologised means nothing, unless his apology was 'I'm sorry that I used the disabled toilet when I am not in fact disabled'.

If I came out of the toilet after spending 10+ minutes in there to find someone waiting I would apologise as a) I was probably a long time (due to having Crohn's) and b) I will have made an unholy smell (also due to having Crohn's) and c) if you were looking angry or annoyed I hope that by apologising I will take the wind out of your sails a little and not have you shout at me for making you wait.

I would of told him looks can be deceiving you don't know my medical history so kindly engage your brain before you open your mouth. I take my serverely autistic 14 year old son in a disabled toilet sometimes, he is far to vulnerable to go into the mens toilets on his own, but I feel its not right for him to now go into the womens toilets with me so this is the best all round solution for him and us.

I've got IBS. When I was in my teens I was hospitalised with it. I was really, really quite poorly for a long time, so I understand why people might need to use it for that.

I, also, have a physical disability.

In the hospital I go to, I don't use the disabled toilet because they have a large cubicle in the ladies, with hand rails and a raised toilet seat. The disabled toilet has a hoist and a changing table for adults, like the ones Changing Places have campaigned for. The amount of mothers and toddlers using it is sickening, there are separate baby changing faciilities, and they could use the large cubicle, they just can't be bothered.

Surely the campaigning was to ensure suitable facilities were provided for everyone to be able to get out and about with confidence Spikey?

Just thinking the toilet facilities in the UK are still very poor compared to other countries ... such as Japan where I lived for a year, where every underground station in the city, and every major department store and public building, had plenty of facilities for all.

No I would never suggest that someone can't do something due to a disability. He came out with a paper and yes it stunk

how horrible for you OP put it out of your mind he was BVVU

Its pretty rare for a non disabled person to need the loo urgently unless they are a toddler mid potty training - lets show a bit of compassion on the rare occasions that they do - anyone can suddenly feel sick or have a diarrhoea attack.

Judging someone for using disabled facilities is not on unless you know the full story - a completely able bodied person may need the extra privacy of a disabled loo due to severe anxiety.

And OP YANBU!