To credit MN for the way I handled this rude woman at the shops?

[Primafacie]

... When I felt a bit hurt, humiliated and angry at her comments?

I had an encounter this morning which up till now I thought only ever happened on Mumsnet :)

I was food shopping (M&S, not that i think it's relevant but so I am not accused of dripfeeding) with my DCs (aged 2 and almost 5). I always park their scooters by the store entrance (on the inside), which itself leads to the inside of a shopping mall, and is guarded by a staff member. We (and the store) are in a very safe, family friendly area.

As I was heading for the tills, DD nearly 5 asked if she could wait for me by the scooters. I said yes, as she is very sensible, I was only going to be a few minutes, and in my own risk assessment, this is not a risky situation.

Two minutes later, I emerge from the queue with my shopping and DS in tow. A woman (I am guessing around 75, again not really relevant but don't want to DF) is talking to the security guard by the door, pointing to DD who is waiting by the scooters. She sees me and says 'is this your child?' Conversation then goes like this:

Me: 'Yes she is'.
Her: 'I really don't think it is advisable to leave your child here, anyone could have kidnapped her'.
Me: Rrright. Well, I disagree,and I think she is perfectly safe here.
Her: but you are wrong. Anyone could have taken her. This is really dangerous.
Me: Well, that's your view. I happen to think we live in a good society and I don't see abductors and paedos everywhere.
Her: but you are wrong, you see. She could have come to harm.
Me: so you have said, several times. Look, I disagree with you, and I am not interested in your views. I didn't ask for your opinion. When I was her age my mum used to send me to the shops on my own. Now please leave me and my kids alone.
Her: Happy new year.
Me: and happy new year to you. Now please can you stop following me?

All this without raising my voice, or stopping smiling :o

All the while she was trying to get the poor security guy roped in to tell me off - to his credit, he never opened his mouth.

Still feeling a bit offended, but meh - hardly the end of the world.

So, thanks MN. Can I get my shiny badge now?

LtEve, I was born in Cyprus. My mum would leave me in the cafe bar whilst she did the shopping (with owner's consent). I loved it. The customers were lovely to me and gave me food and I nicked their beer .

I used to go out and play with my mates at a young age. We also got small sips of mummy and daddies drinks for as long as I can remember too.

Never had an issue with alcohol, never 'went wild' as a kid.

Lteve what benefit would a eight year old have drinking baileys ?

Great parenting

Mine used to have hot chocolate , chocolates, food , special desserts never really felt he need to offer my child alcohol, nor did she ask for it.

But any way I bet your dd looked like a proper little grown up!!

Sorry, as a teenager

In fact it was the kids of over protective parents who got freedom in their late teens and ended up drunk on street corners getting picked up by the police...

Youthecat, we were only there for 18 months, but I would go back in a second. I used to have DD taken off me (age 3-4) by random cafe/shop owners and they would always bring her back full of cheese or pastries (she's was a skinny wee thing, think they were trying to fatten her up).

I much prefer the attitudes abroad than in UK.

Baileys is tasty!

I think not making alcohol some sort of 'hidden adult thing' is really really important!

geck that's not true at all.

I was allowed a glass of cider with my Christmas dinner from when I was about nine.

The following year me and my cousin got absolutely pissed and was sick all night. As my lax parents were both drinkers. I was binge drinker till I was about 30. Luckily dd1 never followed suit but then again I never let her have alcohol at all as it wasn't legal .

I was there until I was 3 a very long time ago in the60s/70s.

Cold, it is perfectly legal for a child over 5 to have alcohol at home.

Personal experience aside, in countries where drinking is normal and (with meals in small quantities) encouraged from a young age, teenage binge drinking is dramatically less than here.

Shame it's not like that in this country though

Alcohol in the home or other private premises between the ages of 5-16 is not illegal.

The women was right OP. you were wrong.
As for the poster giving her at 8 year old alcohol

the risk is much higher if you are driving with a child in the car

OP, I assume you mean that children are at greater risk in cars than they are on foot. Or do you mean people are more likely to have accidents with children in the car?

I can't comment on the latter but I can say that the former is not strictly true, OP. Which isn't to say that children should be driven everywhere (of course they shouldn't - although there are a few roads that I wouldn't want anyone let alone a child to walk along), but if you're talking about numbers of children killed or injured the figures are broadly similar between pedestrians and passengers. More children are seriously injured on foot than in cars but the number or incidents is roughly the same.

I have no idea how this translates into casulaties per mile - I imagine the figures for pedestrians would look like a bloodbath in comparison but would be meaningless, given the distances, and doubt they'd be terribly useful.

Cold, I appreciate this is how you see it, and even that this represents the majority's view. But I don't agree. I think (some) children can take on, and want to be given, more responsibilities.

As we were scooting back yesterday, i had the following chat with DD.

DD: 'mum, did you really go to the shops on your own when you were 4 and 3/4?'

Me: yes I did. Do you think you would like to do that?

DD: hmm. No. Because I cannot count money yet. But I'm working on it at school :).

Interestingly, she did't express any stress about the streets, the shop, or finding her way - we don't drive, she has walked at least a couple of miles a day along these streets since she was two. She knows where she lives, our neighbours's names, the various ways of getting back here from the shops, which roads are safe, etc.

That's my girl :)

Stop being so English, Cold.

The sooner you introduce your babies to a nice, cold Sancerre, the better. You can't really enjoy a nice, grilled sworfish with a sippee cup of Ribena.

Why would you want a child that young to have alcohol

I don't buy that theory that allowing booze at home for youngsters is a good thing and will prevent binge drinking later on.

DS2- 16 had a few beers on Christmas night and during the summer last year when he finished school.

ds1-18 is out a lot but sensible on the whole.

It doesn't sit right with me letting very young kids sip alcohol but each to their own.

Tsk marmalade Sancerre is the gate way to smack don't you know!

Marmaduke never waste a nice cold Sancerre on a child, have you seen the price of a bottle

My dd had a small glass of watered down wine on special occasions from about 7.

She's 19 now. Most of her friends are off binge drinking in town and off their heads on vodka - she isn't. She'll have a couple of beers and is happy with that.

I was also allowed small amounts of alcohol from a young age and was never as daft as most of my friends when it came to drinking.

You're right. Lambrini for the kids. It's fizzy as well so they'll enjoy it more.

"Why would you want a child that young to have alcohol"

To get them to sleep quicker.

Durrrr.

It was an after dinner drink, everyone (16 people) were having one and DD asked if she could. She had a small measure of Baileys with ice and it didn't do her any harm. My child, my rules, my decision.

(Same child has never had a fizzy drink in her life though, go figure )

Marmalade, I wouldn't waste a Sancerre on me, let alone DD!

Again, I don't think anyone really cares if other people do things differently.

I was told last week that a child of 4.7 having a sip of champagne was child abuse.

Which is just ridiculous.

Live and let live is usually the best way to go.