Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Piercing babies ears

248 replies

fifi669 · 31/12/2013 21:05

So.... AIBU to think that piercing young children's ears and esp babies is on some level abusive as it's not got any medical reason and only the vanity of the parents?

I'm not saying it's up there with beating etc. But to purposefully put your child through pain, for a cosmetic reason isn't right surely?

OP posts:
trashcanjunkie · 01/01/2014 22:27

I had mine done as a baby. My two cousins were allowed to take me for a walk in my pram Hmm and came back with them done (so I'm told) I have no memory of this at all. I hardly wear earrings but as they are so established I can put some in if I fancy it. I don't really see the issue.

Weelady77 · 01/01/2014 22:28

Everyone is allowed to have there own opinion but to judge isn't very nice, when I read it and all I seen was chavtastic this and that yip my dd ears are pierced but were certainly not chavs

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 01/01/2014 22:32

isn't it judgemental to accuse anyone who doesn't agree with this of being 'intolerant'?! Hypocritical much? Of course you can't remember if but that doesn't mean it wasn't painful at the time and any baby who ended up with an infection as a result is probably reminded. Even if you're not dead against it, SURELY you can see 'the issue'?! I fucking hate this whole 'don't judge' bullshit when someone hears something they don't like.

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 01/01/2014 22:35

you might as well say 'I don't have a decent argument for my stance on this but you're not allowed to judge so ner-ner!'.

Ghanagirl · 01/01/2014 22:37

It's fair enough to disagree, but a lot of posts imply only a certain class of people do this, not true most of the girls in my daughters class have pierced ears, we live in an affluent and diverse part of London so it is a cultural choice. If you don't like it don't do it

Weelady77 · 01/01/2014 22:40

You can have your opinion everyone's entitled to it but judging or tarring everyone with the same brush isn't nice! Cause that's when it can get into a slanging match!
I get you don't agree with it in the slightest AND once again that's your opinion but please don't judge I have my reasons

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 01/01/2014 22:40

a lot of posts? I must have missed those. I wouldn't care if you were rolling in it, if you had your baby's ears pierced, i would question your motives and always disagree with it. Someone, just tell me how it is NOT wrong, please! I'm dying to know.

Ghanagirl · 01/01/2014 22:40

I wish was a perfect person like you vampyare

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 01/01/2014 22:42

still not telling me why it's a good idea to pierce an infant's ears? I may not be perfect but i don't deliberately cause my children to be in pain or expose them to the risk of infection.

Weelady77 · 01/01/2014 22:44

I don't know what you class as a chav but in mines it's a schemie!!

Once again like I've said in all my posts I can see why you don't agree and can see why you don't see why I done it but again it was my choice (not my daughters) but if she grows up and hates it then I'll think back on this and say vampire was right!

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 01/01/2014 22:47

one question and one question only - what are good, valid reasons for paying someone to put a hole in your baby's ears? That is all I would like to know.

Catsize · 01/01/2014 22:47

Unnecessary infliction of pain. Assault. Have never understood why this does not constitute ABH. Doesn't come under lawful self-defence etc. Last time I said this, was nearly burned at the stake, but just don't understand it either. Had mine done aged 21. Hurt for weeks, but was self-inflicted with adult consent. Can anyone give a good reason for doing it?

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 01/01/2014 22:48

I don't believe in 'chav', i think it's generally used to describe the working class though.

Weelady77 · 01/01/2014 22:49

Vampire I've told you my reasons!! It's not going to change from the last time you asked

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 01/01/2014 22:49

apparently not, catsize but they're happy to accuse you of being intolerant, judgemental and thinking that you're superior when in fact I would just put a child's comfort above the vanity of a parent.

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 01/01/2014 22:50

because your family did it? is that it?

Heartbrokenmum73 · 01/01/2014 22:50

a lot of posts imply only a certain class of people do this

Really? What 'class' would that be then?

Because I come from a poor, working class background and mine weren't done. Neither were my sister's. We both got them done at around the age of 14 - y'know, when we got to choose.

I didn't get my DD's done either. She had them done for her 10th birthday. Again, her choice.

And that's my big issue with it, but another one that no one who is for it seems to be willing to engage with. The reason it is cruel is because it is not a choice.

So, would those of you who are so pro-piercing like to explain why you inflicted unnecessary pain on your baby that they had no choice over?

Or are you going to keep evading the question as you have throughout the whole thread?

Simply saying 'I had my reasons' is actually not an explanation.

But I don't suppose anyone wants to actually confess to hurting their child for vanity reasons, do they? Let's be honest - what other reason is there? I don't think there is one.

These threads always go like this - no one ever answers the question about why they did it because it would make them look ridiculous.

But please - feel free to make up some bullshit to prove me wrong.

Original poster
fifi669 · 01/01/2014 22:50

I said IMO it was chavtastic. I'm from Cornwall, the ethnic minority population here is prob about 0.004% (made up fact). The people that get it here tend to have an ASBO and a joint of meat stuffed in their coat that they've nicked from co-op..... (Slight exaggeration)

It's completely beside the point though. You're hurting your children for no reason other than you think it makes them pretty. Intentional pain inflicted with no benefits = abuse surely.

OP posts:
Original poster
fifi669 · 01/01/2014 22:52

Oh and chav isn't used for the normal working class, think more shameless.

OP posts:
Heartbrokenmum73 · 01/01/2014 22:53

I've told you my reasons!! It's not going to change from the last time you asked

Yeah, yeah, Weelady, so you keep saying, but the only reason you've given is 'because all my family do it'. Well, my parents both smoke, didn't make me want to do it.

That is the most pathetic excuse for harming your child.

Any justification beyond 'your family'?

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 01/01/2014 22:54

at the moment i'm more offended about being considered so stupid that I cannot see when someone is evading a question than the word 'chav'. as far as i'm aware i don't know anyone who's done this to their babies and thank fuck!

Weelady77 · 01/01/2014 22:59

And that's my reason what else do you want me to say??

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 01/01/2014 23:00

nevermind.

Weelady77 · 01/01/2014 23:01

Exactly!

Heartbrokenmum73 · 01/01/2014 23:02

That actually is your only reason? Shock

I can't say what I want to say because I'll get into trouble for it, but (and this is really, really toning it down), you're a very stupid person.

You punched holes in your baby's ears because all your family do it?

Just...wow.

Playground stuff: if your family jumped off a bridge, would you do that to, springs to mind.