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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Piercing babies ears

248 replies

fifi669 · 31/12/2013 21:05

So.... AIBU to think that piercing young children's ears and esp babies is on some level abusive as it's not got any medical reason and only the vanity of the parents?

I'm not saying it's up there with beating etc. But to purposefully put your child through pain, for a cosmetic reason isn't right surely?

OP posts:
Annunziata · 01/01/2014 20:46

That's why you do it early, so the mother can clean them and they don't care by the time they're old enough to tug.

It is not like cosmetic surgery- pain and risks? It's only earrings.

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 01/01/2014 20:46

and all this being judgey bollocks... we all judge so let's stop pretending we never do.

BlingBang · 01/01/2014 20:46

So Vampire - you know for a fact you wouldn't have done it if you were Spanish or Indian or such? Of course you might be and you might have went against you cultural norms.

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 01/01/2014 20:47

I hope I wouldn't, I can't see why I ever would.

BlingBang · 01/01/2014 20:49

Of course we judge and I have judged more about this in the past but I have changed but I can't really find it in me to judge someone for doing what is normal to them as I probably would have done the same in their position.

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 01/01/2014 20:49

why do they do it in Spain and India anyway?

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 01/01/2014 20:51

That's why you do it early, so the mother can clean them and they don't care by the time they're old enough to tug
Or, here's a shocking thought, wait until they're old enough to make the decision and look after them themselves.

Babies do not need jewellery through their ears to make them prettier.

TheBigJessie · 01/01/2014 20:52

You seem very certain that people are incapable of challenging their cultural norms, Bling.

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 01/01/2014 20:54

I would hope that paying someone to punch a hole in my baby's ear would go against my maternal instincts no matter where I was from, I'm afraid.

BlingBang · 01/01/2014 20:54

Vampire - you really think you wouldn't feel differently on this if you were raised with it being the norm, with it being expected and accepted. I believe a lot of what we think and believe is often down to things we have no control over like where we were born or how our parents raised us etc.

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 01/01/2014 20:55

I was raised with it being the norm. I'm still dead against it.

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 01/01/2014 20:56

As I said, I don't know for a fact, I know very few things for certain but I hope I wouldn't.

BlingBang · 01/01/2014 20:59

I think you are lacking in imagination then Vampyre.

And yes TBJ, of course people can challenge their cultural norms and some do but I honestly don't know what I would have done if I was Spanish and had a baby girl in Spain. Can you say you definitely wouldn't have done it?

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 01/01/2014 21:01

well, you learn something new every day. I'll have you know though, my imagination is very good. Creative writing was my strongest subject actually Grin

BlingBang · 01/01/2014 21:04

Good for you Baubles for following your values, I'd like to think I would be strong as well and stick to my values. Were you raised in the UK or in a country where it is the norm?

Original poster
fifi669 · 01/01/2014 21:05

I think I was 14? When I had mine pierced. Just to answer that question. Yes it hurt.

Still don't know why there is an age for other piercings but not ears. I'm not uptight about these things I've had my nose and eyebrow pierced before, I've got tattoos. I just don't think it's right to force them on babies or toddlers. Pain for vanity. It's wrong.

Lots of cultural things we challenge and don't agree with, this should be one of them.

OP posts:
DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 01/01/2014 21:11

Not in the UK bling, and thanks I like to think I'm strong minded.

BlingBang · 01/01/2014 21:12

Am surprised it's still legal in the UK though. But there are other bigger fish to fry and folk would just do it at home and do we really want to start charging thousands of loving, good parents.

TheBigJessie · 01/01/2014 21:27

If a hypothetical me hadn't resisted, does that mean the concept of bodily integrity is suddenly worthless? And I think I might have resisted. I successfully questioned a hell of a lot of other things before I had children, including parenting practices.

BocaDeTrucha · 01/01/2014 21:51

Al this talk about everyone doing it in Spain is actually a bit out of date now. People are gradually realising that they don't have to do it to their new born daughters anymore.

They dont offer it in my local maternity hospital, partly because if anything does go wrong and there is an infection, they don't want to be held responsible. It's not an essential medical procedure so they don't offer it. So the tide is changing over here too, thankfully.

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 01/01/2014 21:53

thank heavens for that then. Why DID they do it as part of their cultural norm though?

Original poster
fifi669 · 01/01/2014 22:07

If someone pierced their baby's eyebrow at home would they be charged once seen? Why would this be different to ears?

OP posts:
VampyreofTimeandMemory · 01/01/2014 22:10

i don't know fifi and it's frustrating that no one seems to want to offer a straight answer. Haven't been out all day and am easily frustrated as a result!

Ghanagirl · 01/01/2014 22:19

Some really intolerant and judgemental people on Mumsnet, esp considering it's meant to be supportive forum for parentsHmm

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 01/01/2014 22:21

just because you disagree with someone, doesn't make them intolerant. Newsflash! we're allowed to judge! No one's called social services, people are just airing opinions. I have yet to hear a good argument for piercing a baby's ears.