Piercing babies ears

[fifi669]

So.... AIBU to think that piercing young children's ears and esp babies is on some level abusive as it's not got any medical reason and only the vanity of the parents?

I'm not saying it's up there with beating etc. But to purposefully put your child through pain, for a cosmetic reason isn't right surely?

yeah i was wrong all along obviously. silly me...

That's my reason because all girls get done, I don't know you tell you why cause that would be another throw weelady on the fire!!

good luck with this heartbroken!

Any chance you could re structure that sentence so it actually makes some sense please, Wee?

'I don't know you tell you why' reads like Yoda talking to me!

You know what? When I get a cat, I get it 'done'. To stop the appearance of kittens (much as I love them) and also to stop them catching horrible diseases.

With each of my dc I had them immunised.

Referring to 'getting girls done' sounds quite cold and like you're referring to animals.

Horrible.

I don't like the presumptuous undertone in these threads that having pierced ears in a necessary part of being an adult female.

As it happens, I have never pierced my ears, although I noticed someone earlier on took it for granted we all would have and asked when we'd had our ears pierced. Piercing one's ears is an entirely valid choice. So is not piercing. I find the fact that so many parents think it's okay to take that choice away repugnant.

is any of the 'for' brigade also for piercing babies' noses/eyebrows/lips then?

We have explained though that for many folk it is cultural and they don't question it as it is normal and expected. Folk dress their girls in pink and their boys in blue often, they happily grow their girls hair but not so much their boys - why? People are conditioned in lots of ways, ear piercing takes this conditioning further - the mums doing it had it done to them and probably with no ill effects or they wouldn't do it to their babies.

Many, many countries and cultures pierce their children's ears - to keep harping on about them all being abusers is quite rude just because it seems strange to you. maybe a more rational talk would get further in changing people's minds than all the abuse allegations.

most of us don't think it's, as op said, up there with beating. but there's no getting away from the fact that it's choosing to hurt your child, no matter where you live. no one has to respect every aspect of a different culture and this is one that is understandably often opposed.

bling, is your post serious? Genital mutilation springs to mind... And we used to send kids up chimneys. Things change, thankfully. Growing hair and colour choice fairly harmless in comparison (and, obviously, I accept greater harm caused by genital mutilation), but as vampyre says, we don't have to brush it off as a cultural thing. Nor is it part of general British culture.
To say mums inflict it on their kids because they had it done to them 'probably with no ill effects' fails to recognise the inability to remember such ill effects at that age.
Can you explain to me how it isn't assault? Genuinely interested in this, as I work in the legal sphere.

I don't believe culture is restricted to nationality, I'm British but would say my culture was something else where ear piercing is done as part of cultural identity, secondly I think some people are missing the point that piercing ears is something of a personally choice. Is tolerance asking for too much? Given that actually, we are talking about a tiny hole in the ear.

Madam : yes it's a tiny hole but it inflicts pain ,risk of infection , and tear ears when playing .0k we have to make some decisions re our dc that may hurt like immunisations but this is not needed.girls orwen ova y age do not need this .o p ; I saw the thing about this on fb were the parent was holding a baby still ready to have ears one.yes it was cited as child abuse on fb . As for the cultural argument I think bout my own culture and all traditions do not have to be followed ( of course there are difficulties for somepeoplein some cultures were iti is more difficult to challenge or question than others but causing pAin toa a baby would lead me to question this practice.

Sugar, each to their own is my view point.
As for likening this to child abuse, let me say once and for all to those who are not reading the posts. As a person who knows child abuse, having my ears pierced will never compare.

Not interested in this discussion because it's been done a million times before, but I have a 'public service announcement' that is related.

DD is 8 and does not have her ears pierced. She wants them done and I have said no until she is 10.

We went to a 'posh' wedding in Sep. DD was a flower girl. All the bridesmaids had their ears pierced, so I allowed DD to wear some clip-on's from Claire's. They were diamanté style, almost like disco balls. She wore them from about 1400 until 2200. They were only small.

When she finally took them off she burst into tears (and she's not a kid that cries easily). Her ears were dented and bright red on the lobe. She hadn't complained of any discomfort during the day, only when the 'pressure' was released.

Over the course of the next day her ears developed what looked like 'love bites' - red and black spotty bruises. These took over a week to go, and her ears were still painful whilst they were there. Sleeping was rotten because every time she rolled onto her side she hurt.

I spoke to an assistant in Claire's (not to complain as such, just to warn) and she said that in her opinion (not the shop policy) their clip earrings were too tight for little kids and should only be used by teens/adults. I'd agree with her.

So, just a warning in case you have compromised and allowed clips over piercings.

(Bonus for me was that DD hasn't once asked for her ears pierced since this happened, whereas it was at least a monthly occurance before)

Catsize - ok, I'll take all my lovely friends aside and berate them for abusing and mutilating their babies with something akin to fgm.

Agree re:culture point, hence my use of the word 'general'. To defend those who have used the term 'abuse', there are differing scales of abuse, of course.

Gah, stop comparing ear piercing to FGM, it's ridiculous!

Yes Madame - it's a personal choice, supposedly. Not a choice for someone to painfully inflict on a poor innocent child.

Not sure you fully read my post bling. I accepted the two things were not alike, but just used an example of cultural difference where unnecessary pain is inflicted.

And I wasn't restricting it to female.

But why is it ridiculous mistermaker?
*Mutilate - To disfigure by damaging irreparably
To make imperfect by excising or altering parts *
Are those definitions not accurate for both FGM and ear piercing?

Because one procedure involves cutting off large parts of a girls genitals, including parts that give her sexual pleasure, and will leave her in pain for a very long time, and has massive risks of complications including infection and infertility. Often done with a frigging rusty knife that has probably been used on a dozen girls beforehand.

The other procedure really is just a momentary pinch - yes it bloody hurts, but in the vast vast majority of cases it is risk free and will not give anyone years of pain. I don't know anyone who has been traumatised of their quality of life reduced by having their ears pierced as a small child (although obviously I know that is only anecdotal).

I don't actually agree with piercing babies ears because it does hurt and I don't like how it looks to be honest. Yes, technically it is a type of mutilation, but there the similarity with FGM firmly ends and I don't think it's helpful to compare the two.

It's being compared to FGM because for some reason people think piercing ears as a 'cultural thing' is okay. The FGM comparison is to demonstrate that no, causing pain because of culture is not okay.