Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you're ill, stay at home! Ranty post

140 replies

Thatisall · 31/12/2013 14:02

This will be the third xmas in a row that my dh and I have been ill. Magically dd has avoided most of our lurgi.

Last year it was my df who infected us, visiting on xmas eve in a right state saying he hadn't eaten and barely slept for three days, that the doc had been out to him, it was that bad.

We said "oh df, you should've stayed at home, we would have seen you when you're feeling better". To which he responded that he fancied getting out of the house.
Cue Christmas morning and both me and dh are soooooo poorly. I manage to make dinner but we hardly eat and then fall asleep while dd plays. We're ill for 4 days to the point where dd had to be looked after by relatives.

The year before it was my dsis bringing chicken pox into the house. I have no issue with chicken pox parties but maybe not at xmas and without prior warning. She just turned up and said, "guess what we've got the pox". DH gets shingles and dd got chicken pox for the second time.

This year dsis used my hairbrush on herself and her dc and then announced that she'd spotted a couple of headlice on them the day before! I have thick curly hair Hmm

About 10 days before Christmas we had friends visit unexpectedly, which was lovely. Then I got ill, really ill, I had the worst diarrhoea I've ever experienced. I couldn't work and had to cancel parties and planned visits. When said friends heard they said "oh yeah we've had that it's nasty, still not shifted it and we've had it for two weeks"....meaning they were ill when they came to our house! (I did think we'd gone through alot of loo roll!)
The worst part is that they went hospital visiting that week too!

Now thanks to the 'compromises to my immune system' I've picked up a second, very nasty infection.

I won't be able to take part in NYE celebrations with my family and I still haven't been able to even see all of them because I don't want them catching this awful bug. I've lost so much weight and now my hair is starting to fall out. Again...said friend said this happened to them too.

I'm not saying that you should stay in bed with every sniffle and I'm all for soldiering on, but there's a difference between that and being thoughtless.

Are you poorly?
Is it really horrid?
Do you think it might be contagious?

Yes?

Well don't go and pass it to your nearest and dearest then! Do the right thing and stay away until you're better!!

Grrrr.

OP posts:
schnockles · 31/12/2013 14:06

Totally with you on this. Why oh why do people do this?

Written whilst holding a feverish, fluey 9 month old DS. Sick because family visitors last week decided to 'dose up' on cold and flu meds rather than stay away as their need to see my baby is greater than his need to not be ill the week before he starts nursery (they knew this). Angry

schnockles · 31/12/2013 14:07

Ps. Hope you're feeling better soon. The hair falling out sounds horrendous.

fryingpantoface · 31/12/2013 14:07

Yanbu

i hope you feel better soon

Darkesteyes · 31/12/2013 14:09

People do this because they are fucking selfish. My Dh has ischemic heart disease and is immuno compromised. So i tend to pre warn ppl if they get ill NOT to come near.

AnyFuckersfrogslegs35 · 31/12/2013 14:10

YADNBU!

CynicalandSmug · 31/12/2013 14:10

I'm with you on this, whether it's work or social occasions if you are sick keep well away from me. Stop playing the martyr and keep your germs to yourself.

ToffeeOwnsTheSausage · 31/12/2013 14:10

YANBU

DH, DD, DS2 and I are all ill because someone went into DH's work ill and shared it.

Danann · 31/12/2013 14:13

I agree, I feel like death, I therefore refuse to get dressed or leave the house at all because no one wants this horrible bug. Ill people should only leave the house if there is absolutely no other option!

PrincessFlirtyPants · 31/12/2013 14:13

YANBU, it's very, very selfish.

Hope you are feeling better soon.

wheresthebeach · 31/12/2013 14:15

I'm with you on this! Drives me bonkers. Do they not believe in germs? Have we gone back in time and no longer understand how sickness spreads? Is it the tooth fairy gone mad? No! It's people falling for advertising over remedies and thinking that they are hero's for soldiering on.
( wanders off now to take next dose of antibiotics....)

BillyBanter · 31/12/2013 14:15

so far 6 in my family have had the same lurgy over the festive period.

I'd rather visit them and risk a lurgy than miss out on my whole christmas which is what I would have had to do.

Original poster
Thatisall · 31/12/2013 14:15

I'm genuinely considering putting a sign on my door next christmas. It really is just beyond a joke!!

And the headlice thing!? We'd all been sat there with the little ones, playing with clips and and bobbles and things, so this brush was being passed around. Why would you do that?? Why would you even come round without treating them? Dd and I both have sensitive scalps so the majority of treatments aren't suitable for us. We have to comb out lice one by one. She knows this!! I've sat and cried about it before now, its that frustrating.

People drive me insane sometimes.

OP posts:
Original poster
Thatisall · 31/12/2013 14:17

BillyBanter But that is YOUR choice, that is YOU risking picking up their bug, not them arriving at your house, knowing full well they are risking ruining your entire Christmas.

I have two immuno compromised relatives, who I simply can't see right now, I have missed my family Christmas, because THEY chose to come round.

OP posts:
HermioneWeasley · 31/12/2013 14:18

Your sister needs a talking to, she's taking the piss

Only1scoop · 31/12/2013 14:19

Op yanbu
Get the signs made
Large ones with neon fucking lights
Hope better soon

Iamsparklyknickers · 31/12/2013 14:19

This is where being an unsociable bastard comes in handy - there's no way I'm moving from my nice comfy sofa if I feel ill, I'm not sociable enough to crave the company when ill!

Tbh I think you can't pussyfoot around telling people off, if you're too polite they don't get the message, you need to act like they've just blown their nose on your curtains and make a point of saying a very sarcastic thank you for making sure we get it too.

Spare no feelings!

grumpyoldbat · 31/12/2013 14:21

What thatisall said ^^

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 31/12/2013 14:22

YANBU - I was thinking just this myself earlier. I have been ill pretty much all of december!

I personally warn people I'm ill if we have made arrangments, even if its just a cold, and give them the choice to rearrange. I had a job interview at the beginning of the month and warned them I was full of cold - you never know if someone has got bad asthma or something and a bad cold/flu could cause them serious complications!!!

Others, unfortunately, aren't so considerate! DH uncle came to stay at ours christmas eve, glugging back cough syrup and sneezing all over the place (not even using tissues!! yuk!!) And when we went to families house on boxing day, there is my grandad rough as anything, saying I won't kiss you, I don't want you to have my germs! Well then stay at home then! It's obvious you'd have been more comfortable there!!

This is why every christmas, one of us is always sick, and it usually lasts ages!!

Hard to know what to do about work though - bosses don't seem to think logically when it comes to sickness and expect you to soldier on, unless there are strict health and safety guidelines.

Dubjackeen · 31/12/2013 14:25

I'm with you on this, whether it's work or social occasions if you are sick keep well away from me. Stop playing the martyr and keep your germs to yourself.
Totally agree. It is totally selfish, in my opinion, to knowingly bring something contagious into someone else's home, and not even warn them. My parents are elderly, and if I have a bug of any sort, I don't visit until it's gone.
Cannot abide martyrs in the workplace either.

Shatteredmamma1 · 31/12/2013 14:28

Oh OP Sad that's awful . I get that at
baby classes sometimes- last time someone
sat next to me, dumped their baby down
and said the GO had just told her poorly
he was with a terrible virus!! Confused -
well don't spread it around then??! Hope
you get better ASAP OP

Shatteredmamma1 · 31/12/2013 14:28

Gp not go!

BillyBanter · 31/12/2013 14:28

Oh, I'd be pissed off in your situation too.

Wevet · 31/12/2013 14:32

Agreed. It seems not to occur to some people. An acquaintance was with me when I phoned my driving instructor to explain that, while I was fine at the moment, my toddler had woken up with a d and v bug, and I was postponing my lesson for fear of passing it to her for Christmas. He was baffled and rather amused, and thought I was being remarkably over-cautious! Driving instructor was grateful, on the other hand.

Tailtwister · 31/12/2013 14:32

YANBU, it's unfortunate if you're ill but extremely inconsiderate to spread it around.

I was ill last year and in bed all Christmas day with a stomach bug. We were already at the IL's so I couldn't stay at home, but when all the elderly relatives arrived I made sure I was isolated up the other end of the house to minimise the risk. I missed everything, including my children opening their presents, but I would rather that than make someone else ill.

I hope you feel better soon OP.

Original poster
Thatisall · 31/12/2013 14:38

Tailtwister That's so sad that you missed them opening their gifts Sad

The irony is that dh had a mild bout of shingles again this december (I think once you've had it, it's a bit like a cold sore :-S) and when the friends came round with their bug that they didn't tell us about, he kept himself out of the way upstairs. He was convinced he'd give the children chicken pox. Little did we know, they were giving us the grimmest of grimnesses

OP posts: