If you're ill, stay at home! Ranty post

[Thatisall]

This will be the third xmas in a row that my dh and I have been ill. Magically dd has avoided most of our lurgi.

Last year it was my df who infected us, visiting on xmas eve in a right state saying he hadn't eaten and barely slept for three days, that the doc had been out to him, it was that bad.

We said "oh df, you should've stayed at home, we would have seen you when you're feeling better". To which he responded that he fancied getting out of the house.
Cue Christmas morning and both me and dh are soooooo poorly. I manage to make dinner but we hardly eat and then fall asleep while dd plays. We're ill for 4 days to the point where dd had to be looked after by relatives.

The year before it was my dsis bringing chicken pox into the house. I have no issue with chicken pox parties but maybe not at xmas and without prior warning. She just turned up and said, "guess what we've got the pox". DH gets shingles and dd got chicken pox for the second time.

This year dsis used my hairbrush on herself and her dc and then announced that she'd spotted a couple of headlice on them the day before! I have thick curly hair

About 10 days before Christmas we had friends visit unexpectedly, which was lovely. Then I got ill, really ill, I had the worst diarrhoea I've ever experienced. I couldn't work and had to cancel parties and planned visits. When said friends heard they said "oh yeah we've had that it's nasty, still not shifted it and we've had it for two weeks"....meaning they were ill when they came to our house! (I did think we'd gone through alot of loo roll!)
The worst part is that they went hospital visiting that week too!

Now thanks to the 'compromises to my immune system' I've picked up a second, very nasty infection.

I won't be able to take part in NYE celebrations with my family and I still haven't been able to even see all of them because I don't want them catching this awful bug. I've lost so much weight and now my hair is starting to fall out. Again...said friend said this happened to them too.

I'm not saying that you should stay in bed with every sniffle and I'm all for soldiering on, but there's a difference between that and being thoughtless.

Are you poorly?
Is it really horrid?
Do you think it might be contagious?

Yes?

Well don't go and pass it to your nearest and dearest then! Do the right thing and stay away until you're better!!

Grrrr.

YANBU.

This gets on my nerves so much. DSil once brought over her DC when they had chickenpox (and didn't look like they actually wanted to go anywhere) which then infected my DC. Why do that?

U

YANBU OP, except over blaming DF. There's no way he could have infected you the night before and it came out 12 hours later-the incubation time is longer. Possibly you were all infected by the same person?

Your Dsis sounds like she has form for self-absorbness though by these incidents, you may need to start checking with her until she gets a clue.

Going out fun-wise though, there's no need to come out and spread shit around. It is very selfish, I've caught norofrom friends who just couldn't resist coming on a double date with us to the cinema despite being sick.

Totally totally agree with social situations - poor you.

We only get a small bit of full sick pay. I have no choice but to go into work with a cold as I need to get paid.

The work thing is awkward.

I rang up work one Christmas (not a 'Christmas' day, just a regular day during the holiday) because I had a horrific cold/chest infection.

Boss even said, 'Gosh. You sound so ill.'

I still had to go in. That or face disciplinary action.

Yes being off sick is a disciplinary offence at my work too. It's so bad a colleague irregularly discharged himself from ccu after having a MI in work. He came in straight from the ward but collapsed again. He got an official written warning. :(

Is it legal to use disciplinary measures when someone is genuinely sick?? Surely a blanket policy like that would be unlawful??

Is it legal to use disciplinary measures when someone is genuinely sick?? Surely a blanket policy like that would be unlawful??

Perfectly legal. I know people employed in Local Authorities who have been sacked for taking too many days off sick.

Yes, if someone is not capable of doing their job due to sickness absence they can be disciplined (or many places use a different named but similar process for sickness) and eventually dismissed.

If you are a normal person who gets a normal amount of illnesses which require you to be off work (maybe 2 or 3 a year at most) then that would not be enough to justify dismissal in most places.

The Local Authority where I worked would if concerned about your sick leave, set targets for the maximum amount you were allowed to take e.g. 5 days over 3 months. People were sacked for being in hospital having an operation. All perfectly legal. And not surprisingly there was a massive increase in people coming to work who were really too ill to be there.

YANBU We nearly lost our 2nd baby to a bacterial chest infection, and when the 3rd came along we were petrified when she was tiny. We used to keep bottles of antibac gel next to the front door for visitors. People still came in with hacking coughs (coughing into their hands, which is all well and good but then WASH THEM) and knowing they were infected. People can be so fucking selfish about just doing whatever they want without a thought for anyone else.

YANBU - people are incredibly selfish when it comes to spreading illness. I never ever meet up with someone if I know I'm ill or one of my children is. We had to cancel dd2's birthday plans before Christmas because she wasn't well and I felt it wasn't fair to risk infecting her friends, especially before Christmas and she felt the same way too.

When I took dd3 to ballet a few weeks ago, there was a woman there who had taken her older child to ballet with a vomiting toddler who was too ill to be there and who she knew was ill before venturing out of the house. The child vomited all over the changing room and on people's clothes. The selfishness of some never fails to amaze me.

It's not even excessive sickness that triggers disciplinary. 1 day after years of perfect attendance is enough to trigger an official warning and the slippery slope to the sack. It's quite stressful :(.