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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to refuse to do dd paper round on new years day

143 replies

LucyLasticBand · 31/12/2013 11:30

i did it the other day when she had a party away from home and wanted to ensure she had her christmas tips.
but new years day!
she should have cancelled it already surely?

she wants to go to a party in another town, requiring me to do her paper round and her dad to pick her up.
i have said no on both counts.

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 31/12/2013 16:28

So she forgoes the paper round,and has to make arrangement to get home
She must know if she attend she'll miss paper round and need to get home
Again that's her judgement,weigh up choice,and consequence.and jf it i party she really want to attend she'll be happy to do so

Original poster
LucyLasticBand · 31/12/2013 16:36

good point.

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 31/12/2013 16:39

At 16 I'd rather be with pals at a do then traipsing doing paper round
She cancels paper round,and no pay.but hey that's how it goes

mumeeee · 31/12/2013 16:54

I wouldn't do the Paper round. She is 16 and is old enough to phone the newsagent and cancel. If she worked in a shop would you go in and do her shift? I didn'r think there were any papers on New Years day.

curlew · 31/12/2013 17:44

You know, I want my children to learn that we help each other, do each other favours, are kind to each other. Doing the paper round for her is the kind, gentle thing to do. She can do something for you in the week. As my dd will do for me because I did her pony for her tonight.

scottishmummy · 31/12/2013 17:53

When mine reach 16 I will want them it understand action,and consequence of decisions
She has chosen to go party that's fine.it mean she forgoes her wages
I wouldn't be getting up to traipse doing paper round as she wants party and wages.

whatever5 · 31/12/2013 17:59

Will she just forgo wages if she cancels for tomorrow or will she lose her job? If she would lose her job I would probably do the paper round for her. I would expect her to do something for me in return though.

scottishmummy · 31/12/2013 18:13

If she's could potentially lose job I'd advise she attend local alternative
And if she chooses not to act on that advice,well that's her look out
16 yo is big enough to weigh up consequences of attend party or work instead

mrsjay · 31/12/2013 18:18

i would tell her she should have told her newagent what will you do when she gets a real job and wants to pull a sickie because she is out partying to late hell would freeze over before i got out my pit to do a 16yr olds job she is paid to do

dexter73 · 31/12/2013 18:18

You know, I want my children to learn that we help each other, do each other favours, are kind to each other. Doing the paper round for her is the kind, gentle thing to do. She can do something for you in the week.

I agree with curlew.

mrsjay · 31/12/2013 18:19

I didn'r think there were any papers on New Years day.

yes there has always been new years day papers

mrsjay · 31/12/2013 18:20

but this is a paid job it may only be a paper round it isnt exactly walking the dog or doing the dishes there is being kind to them and then there is letting them walk all over you and as i said before if it was in a shop her mum wouldnt be able to do her shift for her would she

scottishmummy · 31/12/2013 18:22

So what lesson does that teach other than mums a soft touch?
Doesn't teach planning,responsibility to job,or if you don't work don't get paid
Favours are the unexpected stuff,not attending party but still wants her wages

dexter73 · 31/12/2013 18:23

If it was a shop then you wouldn't be able to do it, but as it is a paper round then someone else can do it for you. I don't see doing someone a favour as being walked all over as I have chosen to do it and expect a favour in return.

mrsjay · 31/12/2013 18:30

well i suppose it is up to the parent but i know i wont be out at the crack of dawn on new years day Grin oh I wonder if the op will be able to keep the wages thought not

curlew · 31/12/2013 18:40

She is negotiating a solution to a problem. I am not saying that she should keep her wages or that the OP should do it for nothing. If she had a friend she could swap shifts with would everyone say she shouldn't do that? She has asked her mum. If her mum can do it without it being a massive pain in the arse then I think she should. And get the girl to reciprocate. Are people saying I shouldn't have said I'll see to dd's pony tomorrow morning so she can go to a party? That I should say "if you want to go to the party you should have sold the pony"?

scottishmummy · 31/12/2013 18:46

The ins and outs of Ponies not applicable to most families,or 16yo
Whereas the Saturday job/paper round is an Example easily applied
Seeing more teens will at one point will have a jobs an a pony

curlew · 31/12/2013 18:52

Not the point. Pony is her responsibility. Absolutely hers. Substitute for Guinea pig if the idea of a teenager having a pony makes you come over all faint. Pretend it's a diabetic guinea pig that needs feeding at 7.30 in the morning. Should I refuse to feed said guinea pig so that she can go to a party?

whatever5 · 31/12/2013 18:53

scottishmummy- she's only 16. She's not going to be an irresponsible adult just because her mum helped her out when she was 16.

scottishmummy · 31/12/2013 18:54

Diabetic Guinean pig.haha that's priceless
You've lost the plot

scottishmummy · 31/12/2013 18:55

No,but she might not learn you cannot bunk off work,and get mummy to do it fir you

Original poster
LucyLasticBand · 31/12/2013 18:55

i have been persuaded, by at least one of them, dam you Wink
yawn.
have to get up at 6.30 I cant believe it!
but normally i get up early anyway.
and I bet it rains.
I have been promised £3.50 - yay

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 31/12/2013 18:57

Set your alarm

Original poster
LucyLasticBand · 31/12/2013 18:57

one of you I mean - has persuaded me to be keen and teach by example.
mind you the reason she is going is to be kind to her friend who would otherwise have no one.

dh is a bit grumpy about picking up tomorrow, but He should have My responsibility ! 6.30 in the morning

OP posts:
curlew · 31/12/2013 18:59

Wow- can't you even cope with the idea of a pet guinea pig?

I suspect you have just decided to be contrary. And when challenged you realize your position is untenable.

How about the idea of her swapping a shift with another paper delivery operative? Or does that offend the "you've made your bed, now lie in it" school of parenting too?