to think that travel has to change when DC enters the picture?

[lessonsintightropes]

DH and I are in our mid 30s and currently TTC. We've had a very good run of exciting adventures over the 6 years we've been together and have prioritised it over things other people would spend money on (like an expensive house, any kind of car etc etc) as it's something we both love and up until now haven't had any reason not to do it. We've got a couple of things booked in over the next six months which might raise eyebrows (travelling to India where food hygiene won't be fantastic) and hiking in northern Canada. I mentioned to DH that the latter trip will probably be our last hurrah for the next five years or so should we be lucky enough to get a BFP.

We've been talking for a while about nice places to go as a young family which won't massively impact on other people and will be both fun and doable (such as hiking in Scotland, spending time in Wales and Norfolk etc). I don't expect we'll get much further than visiting best friends in Holland who also have a young family for the next five years or so.

DH is looking a bit mournful and wondering whether things have to change so drastically - mates of ours who live in Vancouver (originally from Wales and NZ) routinely make transatlantic journeys with their DS (now 12 months). I think, because we don't have family overseas, that trying to fly or drive any further than 4 - 5 hours with a small baby is asking for trouble. He thinks I'm over worrying. We agreed to ask AIBU - what do you think? To round it out, most of our family lives in the UK, but most of our friends live overseas in Europe, Canada and the US. Thoughts welcome! Before it's pointed out, yes I do know that we are extremely lucky to be in a position where we can travel a lot. We've worked pretty hard to get here though, and as I said before, we prioritise it over a lot of things other people wouldn't.

And btw if you do get a colicky nightmare, transatlantic travel will be the least of your worries;-)!!!

Thumb we love driving holidays. We have always driven since the DCs were small and they are brilliant in the car - and not so great on a plane!

We regularly drive to France and go exploring, we've driven to skiing in Italy and all Over the UK.

As a side issue, doesn't anybody care about their precious children ruining other traveler's flights? From the posts on this thread, the general feeling seems to be no.

We were exactly the same as you - prioritised travels abroad over spending money on better cars/house/stuff.

We now have DD7 and DS 9 months. I would say it really hasn't changed, just toned down a bit. Eg rather than backpacking round India with a 3 yo, we went to Goa for a fortnight. Rather than a trip round Thailand staying in several places we had a few nights in Bangkok and 10 nights on the beach. We find staying in one or two places and doing day trips (or half day trips) much easier with young children. We also tend to alternate days out with pool/beach days.

With nursery fees to pay I did/do spend a lot of time hunting around for good deals. Remember that before they are 2 you don't have to pay for a seat on the plane and that from when they are 4 and at school you are limited with school holidays.

We had a break until DD was about 12 months old then went to Tunisia, 6 months later Malaysia and so on. She has been on 6 or 7 longhaul trips along with various shorthaul trips and around Britain too. With DS we went to Lanzarote over the summer when he was 4 months old. We were planning a big trip over Easter when he will be 12 months but, for other reasons, it will end up being a Europe long weekend city break. Next summer will certainly be another big trip.

We have had a few Europe package summer holidays which we wouldn't have done previously but DD loves the kids clubs/mini discos even if we don't really! Still have a great time as we choose somewhere with sights and trips too.

Ours have so far been good travellers. Only 1 nightmare flight with nearly 2 yo DD screaming for what seemed like hours but only really about 20 mins. It does help once they are old enough to be bribed with the novelty of TV/DS for hours on end!

As others have said, for various reasons you might not be able or even want to do this when your baby comes along. If you do still want to and are able to, then it shouldn't stop you.

OP like Claudius I too feel I could have written your OP. We're also planning (as yet not booked) a Canada adventure trip for 2014. Your concerns are our current major considerations too. What an enlightening thread this is.

Btw, if you get chance I would be so grateful if you wouldn't mind PMing me the details of your Canada trip?? We're really struggling to narrow down where to go/what to do and any inspiration would be welcome!

Travelling with a small baby is a breeze, they only need you. Once they're mobile but still unable to follow instruction it gets difficult. Once they're four or so it gets fun again

We did quite a bit of travelling pre DC, to places like South America, Africa and Nepal. We're also keen skiers.

Since having our DC (now 4, 6 and 8) we haven't been to anywhere further than Italy. We feel that it wouldn't be the same now and the stress might outweigh the enjoyment. I'm sure we'll return to it at some point in the future.

However, we still go skiing every year (we've only missed one year through pregnancies and breastfeeding), even though that can also be difficult with young DC. So I guess the answer is that it depends how much it matters to you

It entirely depends on how laid back your dc are. Also, arrelaxed baby is not necessarily an easy going toddler or child.

We've holidayed at 4 months and 14 months- both enjoyable. Flew short haul both times.

Small babies are pretty portable but once they hit toddler stage thing can change. When they were tiny going to NZ, Aust, SE Asia was doable but then we had a period of a few years where European bucket and spade holidays were really the best thing all round. 2-3 hour flight, self catering villa, and spending lots of time in the pool or on the beach ensured happy and tired children which means happy parents!

Good new is by the time they were 7 and 9 we were back on the 'interesting' holidays route. They've been to China, India, USA, NZ, the Caribbean etc as well as many European places. We've found the best way to ensure everyone is happy is to plan well. We made sure there are activities/sightseeing in the morning, a nice lunch then back to where we are staying so the DC's can relax in the pool or chill out in the room.

Now they are teenagers they can do full days of activity and they love our exciting holidays!

Enjoy your new baby and go with the flow!

Bonsoir my DCs aged five and two love a castle. They beg to go to them!

It is different for different people!

Travel with young kids did not work for us, but BIL and SIL have more of a hippy mentality, and have taken their babies and tots on road trips through Guatemala, Peru, Thailand and Malaysia, just feeding the kids local food, completely dispensing with bed times and routine completely.

It can be done if you are not an uptight parent ( like I was!)

We have 4 Dc and love to travel too. Europe especially France, Belgium snd Italy are very easy to get too and you can avoid the packages and do your own thing.

Cost would be the biggest barrier for us. It costs a fortune for six people to go anywhere far especially if you fly and have to go school holiday time.

A day out at a castle isn't a holiday.

Thanks for starting this thread! DH and I were big travelers (had been to about 40 countries before DC1 came along) and now we have a 2 y/o and a baby. When I was pregnant with DC1 I even had nightmares about not being allowed to board planes taking me to exotic destinations such was my fear about it all ending. Having done quite a few smaller (car) trips and one longer one to Australia since DC1 was born, the main ways our travel has changed is:

1. We now stay longer in fewer places, it is much better and more relaxing for us that way and try to choose destinations with lots to do from one base rather than moving around like we used to.

1. We spend much more on accommodation as find we spend much more time in the room, whereas before it was just somewhere to sleep

1. I agree about long car trips. We did a trip last week that used to take 6 hours but now is over 8 with the longer stops. Planes are way more novel.

1. I've gone to a lot of intrepid places in the past but am a bit wussy about taking my kids to those places now, especially places with terrible driving and traffic problem, or disease. Pre DC me would have scoffed at that idea, but that's how I feel now

1. Since DC1 was born I also have found I don't want to spend as much on trips. Pre DC me and DH spent most of our money on travelling, but now I find I do want to spend more on household things etc that I didn't before.

Having said that am pleased to read the posts like nowahousewife's to know that we may be able to do more interesting trips when the DCs are older. But, for now, we're happy to embrace the 'bucket and spade' destinations.

A day out at a castle isn't a holiday.

Says who? It is for us, and the kids enjoy it too. I could equally say my idea of hell is taking the kids to a beach. But I won't, because it is irrelevant. Some people like it, some don't. Sweeping statements about what makes a holiday based on your personal opinion are pointless.

Its the cost of extra flights and hotel/apartment room once they are over 2 years old that has impacted on our travel. We have never let the 'hassle' of travel dictate where we go, though.

When we had one baby, we flew and travelled loads - China, Thailand, Oz and NZ (surprisingly OK 30 hour flight!), USA, Canada, Caribbean. The worst flight I have ever been on with a small child was a 1 hour flight to Ireland (DS was violently sick all over me and I didnt have a change of clothes). Could have happened on a train to Manchester though .

I'd say if you have the money and time, travel as much as you can before you have to start paying for extra flights! Its also much easier to fit one baby in to your own idea of holiday fun - I took baby DS along the Great Wallof China in his buggy, up the Empire State in his sling etc etc.
Once you have a family (I have primary shcool age kids now), holidays do tend to become a bit more planned around what will keep them quiet be fun for the kiddos

So what do you consider to be heritage tourism then that is incompatible with young children?

We like to pick an area, or a historical figure, or a certain period and then go and stay somewhere and visit several places related to our topic. The DCs love it.

We've flown to Australia and back a couple of times and to the States as well as several shorter flights since having DC. In our experience, jet lag seems to have mush less effect on kids than adults so no real problems on that front either.

Babies fly well and toddlers love the novelty (and iPads!!).

The only restrictions we have considered are places where food hygiene may be very dubious and ruled out the hiking we used to do, instead trekking with the children in slings/BushBabies.

Skiing isn't something we do routinely but many friends have visited resorts which have excellent crèches then ski schools for slightly older DCs.

When we had just ds we travelled more than we had previously, just because we had more £ to do it. So NYC, Japan, France, Turkey, Crete, Australia many times and others.

I was stuck bf so it didn't make that much difference to be stuck on a plane bf. Apart from usual jetlag and discomfort.

Now we have two we still travel but prefer a big trip to lots of small ones. All the airport faff - I want to make it a worthwhile.

Wait and see how you feel when your DC come along. You may find that you don't want to travel in quite the same way as you did before you had them. It might feel like way too much work. Otoh it might be absolutely fine. I travelled alot before having Dd but haven 't done that much since having her but that's as much to do with finances as anything else. I know some people who do alot of travelling with little ones but most of my friends tend to stick to tamer travels till their DCs are a bit older.

DD1's first 5 week long roadtrip across Europe was at 10 months, DD2's was at 6 months old. Last holiday we flew to a greek island (Crete), but we rented a car and travelled more than 1500km when we got there.

The differences we have noted:

1. We have much less money to spend and costs are higher with more of us so that is a big limiter.

2. We don't get nearly as much done on a day sightseeing. Everything takes longer with little children and there are also the compulsory stops whenever we see anything that looks vaguely like a playpark or even just some steps and empty space to run around and climb on (like the Scoop in London).

3. We camp a lot and whereas before children we would pack up our tiny tent and move on every couple of nights, we now set up the tent in one or two bases per holiday as it is such a massive faff to pack up our huge tent and all our stuff.

4. We don't find road trips any longer as we have always built in loads of stops anyway but I think an A to B as fast as possible trip would need o be slowed by breaks.

5. One of our DCs has food allergies (to food groups very common in many asian countries) and I would love to go to India/Asia as a family but I am reluctant to do this at the moment because of the risk of an allergic reaction.

6. Castles are definitely a holiday. We all love castles!

A year of maternity leave, possibly part-time working and maybe a bigger house don't tend to leave a lot left for holidays sadly. Not to mention a recession.
It isn't always easy to maintain a pre-baby lifestyle, and I don't think it's good to feel under pressure to do so tbh.

only a Brit would say 'a trip to a castle is not a holiday'. Someone is taking history for granted! Many of these places now lay on school holiday activities, costumed guides and the ever-popular stocks and pillory.

one of my local NT castles has a playground at the bottom of the slope beneath it. It has tractors and wheelbarrows to push around and things to climb on. I think that many of the visitors with kids get no further than that but the kids have a whale of a time!

We have continued to travel as we did before the DC were born, They both took their first flights by the time they were 8 weeks, they have grown up to understand about flying and travel manners, they eat what they are given whether it is street food or posh hotel food. They have seen places I could only have dreamed of seeing when I was younger. They are well rounded children, who make friends with children on campsites/hotels/parks/beaches, they mix well with adults, fall asleep where they are put. Yes, they have HUGE tantrums and behave like all children do. We are off tomorrow for our next adventure driving from west coast of South Africa to the east Coast of South Africa, camping, hiking, hotels, game drives, learning about people and cultures. We are all excited and I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to fit all out stuff in 2 suitcases.