to think that travel has to change when DC enters the picture?

[lessonsintightropes]

DH and I are in our mid 30s and currently TTC. We've had a very good run of exciting adventures over the 6 years we've been together and have prioritised it over things other people would spend money on (like an expensive house, any kind of car etc etc) as it's something we both love and up until now haven't had any reason not to do it. We've got a couple of things booked in over the next six months which might raise eyebrows (travelling to India where food hygiene won't be fantastic) and hiking in northern Canada. I mentioned to DH that the latter trip will probably be our last hurrah for the next five years or so should we be lucky enough to get a BFP.

We've been talking for a while about nice places to go as a young family which won't massively impact on other people and will be both fun and doable (such as hiking in Scotland, spending time in Wales and Norfolk etc). I don't expect we'll get much further than visiting best friends in Holland who also have a young family for the next five years or so.

DH is looking a bit mournful and wondering whether things have to change so drastically - mates of ours who live in Vancouver (originally from Wales and NZ) routinely make transatlantic journeys with their DS (now 12 months). I think, because we don't have family overseas, that trying to fly or drive any further than 4 - 5 hours with a small baby is asking for trouble. He thinks I'm over worrying. We agreed to ask AIBU - what do you think? To round it out, most of our family lives in the UK, but most of our friends live overseas in Europe, Canada and the US. Thoughts welcome! Before it's pointed out, yes I do know that we are extremely lucky to be in a position where we can travel a lot. We've worked pretty hard to get here though, and as I said before, we prioritise it over a lot of things other people wouldn't.

Ladies you are amazing! It's great hearing your travel stories and I am starting to have hope that we will still be able to see certain parts of the world that I'd ruled out. DH is delighted too, guess we'll have to see whether our one is up for it, but we've already decided to try and make baby Lessons bomb proof in terms of noise and light by slow exposure in order to get he or she involved with things we like to do, and guess travelling will hopefully be the same. throws away Gina Ford

DD aged just 3 has flown more than 20 times. Most transatlantic, since she was 3 months old. She is a good traveler but there is a hell period you should avoid. Between about 10 months and two years... Old enough to want to walk, explore and still throwing up, not old enough to reason with. Before 6 months and EDF they are supremely portable. Have boobs and nappies will travel. A good sling and clever packing and you can do it very easily.

Well, you might not fancy regular trips to Australia, but I'd see no reason to stick to the UK if you'd rather travel elsewhere. It's actually much easier with young children. Wait 5 years and your child will be in school, and that make's travel so much more difficult to plan.

DH and I traveled practically full-time for 3 years with our two youngest DC's and his boys, it was easy. Easier than being at home actually since we didn't have to do any housework.

WE live in South America and have taken our toddler backpacking. It's very different to pre-kids trips, that's for sure. You've got to plan ahead as well as be flexible. And take LOADS of sick bags and wet wipes.

We've done about six or seven long haul trips since dd was born, and quite a lot of shorter trips to Europe etc. She is now eight. Some of these have been to relatively remote places. We've never had any problems, and there are very few places to which I would be afraid of taking her.

DD has loved every trip, and she has learnt so much. Travelling is also a real bonding opportunity for us as a family - we have created so many amazing shared memories.

DD has always been very portable and she adapts to new situations very easily. We've never followed a strict routine, so she copes with the upheaval of travel and different time zones very well. She is used to it, I guess - her first long haul trip was at five months.

We don't really seek out play areas and theme parks overseas, but we do try to make activities relevant to her - by staying with families who have similar aged kids, for example, or by arranging trips to local primary schools etc. We don't really do beach holidays in general - maybe a day here and there, but not really worth going long haul for that kind of thing. I think if you're going to travel that far with kids, it's worth getting to know as much as you can about the local culture and lifestyle etc.

Meh babies really are portable. In the first year of DS' life we went to: the US, Kenya, Turkey, France and the US again. He's five now and has been to over 20 countries. Travel is good for kids...

I could have written this post last year! was so nervous our baby would mean never getting away for more than a few hours. Travelling while preggers is fine (I was on a four night budget small boat trip at 7 months as my last trip). It depends on your baby a bit but we pulled off a 3 week across the globe trip with a stopover and 4 different side trips when she was 3 months old pretty easily. Things will change but not as badly as you are worrying.

Side note; a Phil & Ted travel pod for infants is the best thing ever if you do travel when they're young.

I live in the US and my 28-month-old DS has been to see family in England a grand total of eleven times. He is terrible aboard planes, too, but ends up going up with the flow once we're at our destination.

Next year we plan to take newborn DS2 and DS1 to Italy. To make life much easier, we do travel with either my parents or mother-in-law, which obviously wouldn't suit some people, but having willing babysitters on tap is wonderful when you go on holiday with kids.

We went to Spain with a nine month old. The way out was fine as he slept all the way (although he did do a dump just as the seatbelt signs went on :D )

On the way back he woke up and wriggled and elbowed and kicked. It was like being in a fight. I ended up crying when he accidentally elbowed me in the throat. Two and a bit hours was quite enough.

You can do a lot with a child in tow.

However, hubby and I found that what we wanted to do changed. My friends who are without kids and don't want kids look at what hubby and I had to 'give up' and don't realise that actually our wants changed so it actually wasn't a case if giving anything up.

I travelled extensively with DD from a few months old and lived and worked in Italy, Holland, Germany, Thailand and Australia. Baby is easy, I'm still a little scarred from doing the UK->Australia with DD on my own when she was 2.5.

We're still in Australia as I stopped travelling when it was time for her to go to pre-school but I should imagine we'll end up back in Europe at some point. She's 11 now and has travelled extensively in both Europe and Asia although so far the US has eluded us, as it's a 23 hour flight and if I do that then I prefer to visit the grandparents in the UK. This year hopefully!

I will just (because some wine has disappeared) tell you the story of the people I met in Africa. I was slumming it in Kenya and met a lovely family, parents and a girl and a boy. Came through Sudan to Kenya in a Land rover. Lovely people. The boy was cool, hung out with us travelers. The girl was pre-teen didn't want to be with her parents or us. Some children can travel through all sorts (they were attacked in Sudan), some can't.

We adopted DS from overseas as a baby so obviously had to travel home with him (long haul, and it was just me as his visa took ages to come through so DH had to go home first)! We've also been back, and to France on Eurostar (he's now nearly 2). We're planning to go long haul again in 2014. There is a lot of walking around airports with buggy/jiggling baby to stop them screaming but you survive. He rarely cosleeps (normally he thinks it's co-time-to-play) but we did a couple of times on arrival in a new time zone. You see different things to what you'd see as a couple - but that's why you have children - to have experiences with them, that they enjoy, not to have couples experiences all over again.

If we end up adopting again I'll let you know how we get on with two!

Dd had her first flight at 10 months to visit DH's family (it's about 5 hours) and has flown every year since then. It's had its good and bad times, but overall it's been fine, so I would recommend getting them used to travelling from an early age.

Another perspective here: I was one of those kids being driven round the world in a van throughout my childhood. I hated it. I felt dragged around according to my parents' whims, I had no roots ( which I feel quite keenly now as an adult), no real friends. Yes, it was eye opening but I think kids are happy with simplicity - day trips to the beach, a good playground, camping in local woods etc. they don't need to march round India to experience adventure.

We travelled like you did before kids. The we had 3 kids in quick succession and still travelled quite bit, it's just that the destinations were a bit more child friendly. Plus I was knackered so hiking with little ones just didn't float my boat. We spent the first couple of years going to resort type places where we could relax - well as much as you can relax with 3 kids under 3.

They're all at school now, and most recently we've been to Cambodia and hiking around Hong Kong. As soon as they were old enough we resumed our skiing and put them into ski school, we're about to head off to the French alps in a few days for the 3rd year running. We're thinking about remote areas in Australia next year. Or maybe exploring China further.

Doing the adventure travel with 3 little kids wasn't appealing for us. But because we had them all so close together, we've only had to wait for a few years before we can do that stuff again.

I would say, and may be shouted down but it's my experience, that longhaul flights are far less of an issue than long drives. DS1 has been flying between the UK and Australia since he was 10mo, and we moved out here when he was 20mo and have been back every year since (he's now 6). He is brilliant on the plane; and DS2 had his first journey back to the UK when he was 6mo - also mostly fine.

But. Roadtrips of longer than, say, a couple of hours can be a PITA, because DS2 doesn't sleep much longer than that, and when he wakes up he wants cuddles and/or feeding. DS1 is pretty good at entertaining him, but at some point even that's not enough.
DS1 can go longer, maybe up to 4h, but then he gets achey just from sitting in his booster seat. We have to give him extra padding for his bum because it gets sore from sitting so long.

So - long road trips, nah. Long flights - no problem. Even long train trips would be better than cars, IMO.

They're now 8 and 6 (twins) btw.

So true, Thumbnutswitchetc.

We went to India when I was 18 weeks pg and took DD to Egypt at 3mo. I reckon it should only stop you if you want it to!

Why do you want to keep travelling (as if you had no children) once you start a family ?

What's that all about ? Height of selfishness if you ask me, and not just a little bit pointless too.

Some people's lives change forever once the children are born. You obviously don't think that way.

So, why are you having children ?

I can't stand these parents that inflict their choices on their children in the name of, 'they'll learn so much'

At what age ? How much can a newborn learn ? The six months, then several years etc ?

They won't be able to relate to the majority of their peers in their teens and twenties who have not done enforced travel.

This limits their ability to make friends. Well never mind, you'll probably be wanting grand children by then. If you're living in the same country that is.

I wonder how many times my posts will get reported prior to deletion ?