to think that travel has to change when DC enters the picture?

[lessonsintightropes]

DH and I are in our mid 30s and currently TTC. We've had a very good run of exciting adventures over the 6 years we've been together and have prioritised it over things other people would spend money on (like an expensive house, any kind of car etc etc) as it's something we both love and up until now haven't had any reason not to do it. We've got a couple of things booked in over the next six months which might raise eyebrows (travelling to India where food hygiene won't be fantastic) and hiking in northern Canada. I mentioned to DH that the latter trip will probably be our last hurrah for the next five years or so should we be lucky enough to get a BFP.

We've been talking for a while about nice places to go as a young family which won't massively impact on other people and will be both fun and doable (such as hiking in Scotland, spending time in Wales and Norfolk etc). I don't expect we'll get much further than visiting best friends in Holland who also have a young family for the next five years or so.

DH is looking a bit mournful and wondering whether things have to change so drastically - mates of ours who live in Vancouver (originally from Wales and NZ) routinely make transatlantic journeys with their DS (now 12 months). I think, because we don't have family overseas, that trying to fly or drive any further than 4 - 5 hours with a small baby is asking for trouble. He thinks I'm over worrying. We agreed to ask AIBU - what do you think? To round it out, most of our family lives in the UK, but most of our friends live overseas in Europe, Canada and the US. Thoughts welcome! Before it's pointed out, yes I do know that we are extremely lucky to be in a position where we can travel a lot. We've worked pretty hard to get here though, and as I said before, we prioritise it over a lot of things other people wouldn't.

Ds1 did his first transatlantic flight at 13 mo and has done many since, there's no reason that travel upto about 8 hours flight time or so has to change.

travel is the least of your problems when DC comes along (fingers crossed for you) your life will be completely turned upside down at least for a couple of months. no one can really tell you how it is going to be. some people just bundle the baby up and travel others worry and pack a ton of stuff they never need and spend weeks worrying about bottle sterilising and sun protection etc. yes some holidays go for a while but others arrive and they are great fun with your kids. mine are now teens and we are doing the adventure type holidays again.

No need to set it in stone just yet. You could be needlessly upsetting your dh for a start! I have found holidays have certainly calmed down for us, far more in the UK (which is interesting in itself) and trips to France rather than America. It's not that you can't do the longer-haul stuff, but it's harder work than before and you might feel you get less out of it. That said I know loads of people who have been abroad with their young dcs regularly. I remember seeing a family with two primary aged girls travelling around India. I couldn't have done that, but it can be done!
I miss the freedom to have lots of city breaks which I used to have; but I've still gained far more than I've lost.

There's a book called "Have baby will travel" which might be a good read for you.

I know a family of H edders who travel with their 3dc almost constantly, but stay in one place for a while. They love it and have done this since the eldest was a baby. Its not for me I couldn't stand all the planning which I'm told is essential.

I found travelling with a baby the easiest, they nap all over the place. We moved to California when she was two months old. I was breast feeding, so we just needed a sling and some nappies. Co-slept in motels and she slept for long car journeys. Yes we didn't do much fencing stuff, but I order exploring in the day. I'd say North America would be easy, just but stuff out there. In addition. To long weekends and trips back to the UK we did a month long road trip when she was 16 months and I was 6 months pregnant. I also climbed and hiked mountains while pregnant ( but not with DD she stayed with DH).

Having the second was the big stopper for us (plus lack of funds) but we were back in UK then so do lots of Scotland trips. This summer we are planning a wales and Ireland 3 week trip now they both kinda sleep through ( they'll be 2 and 4)

Wait and see how you feel once DC arrives!

We travelled a lot before DC, exactly as you described, we spent any spare cash on long-haul holidays and always said that having a child wouldn't change things.

Fast-forward 6 years and we are more than happy with family holidays in Europe and the UK. We both work hard and the thought of a 12 hour flight when you can't sleep, read, drink gin and watch films just doesn't seem relaxing any more. We still go abroad and do a bit more than sit round a pool but we've had some great holidays in places that we would never have gone to pre-DC. We do want to take DC to some of the places that we've been lucky enough to visit but not for a couple of years.

Saying that, others think nothing of putting a baby in a back pack and pottering off to Everest Base Camp and that's great - it's just that for us our priorities changed.

I think you are being unduly pessimistic. I know loads of people who continue to travel extensively once they have children.

Of course it changes. It's no longer fancy dinners, but more finding the nearest play area anywhere in the world. But of course you can travel with kids, don't be so daft. (We're more of the baby in backpack and down caves types than Butlins every May.)

Depends totally on you. We scaled back the more adventurous stuff to a degree but flew abroad on holiday when the kids were a few months old. I know friends who go camping for weeks with a newborn, met a family driving home from India with their young kids (including a babe in arms)in a van. Some folk can handle it and some go for the easier option. Very young babies are quite adaptable though, especially if they are BF.

The only change we have made is choosing places that don't pose a health threat to the DC. We've done loads of longhaul with them, stayed in all sorts of places and they are both still under 5. They are good little travellers, know what to do in an airport, how to behave on a plane because they've been doing it their whole lives.

It's important for us to instill a sense of adventure and travel in our DC, so we have a small house, with an old car but they've already been places and done this game most haven't.

Start as you mean to go on, if you like to travel I bet they will too.

Travelling with a baby is a piece of cake especially if you BF. Travelling with toddlers gets trickier. By the time you have baby 2 and a toddler you'll be wanting things nice and easy.

It's all good though. You don't have to get on a plane to have adventures. You can have family friendly holidays in Asia. You might not see the way now, but you will find it when you need too.

Ah, thanks all, I am finding this very encouraging in both directions actually! Its I will definitely check out that book, it sounds great. And Claudius yes I know exactly what you mean! I guess it depends if/when small person pops out and what their tolerances are, I just wanted to have a few easy things up my sleeve in case long flights are going to be a PITA for all concerned. Although I guess one of my alternatives (hiking the West Highland Way but doing it in hotels rather than camping) is probably more ambitious than hanging out with chums in California

Our travel didn't/hasn't changed much. We only have one dc (I guess that's relevant!?) and took him to California at 8 months, southern USA at 12months. He was on skis at 3yo and we tried to keep things the 'way they were' as much as possible. Huge all inclusive Mediterranean hotels fill me with dread....

What did change was no more travel to places where health care, santation and food hygeine were, erm dodgy.

Having said all that, I realise not all children travel as well as others, some of our friends wouldn't do air travel with their dc at all, some tried it and said it was hell, screaming, unsettled, unhappy kids that were ill/too hot/cold whatever, others just prefer to do UK based stuff.

I guess once you have dc, its a decision you'll make then.

And am hoping to, if possible, EBF for a few months which will make it easier, but I know some babies just don't latch. My DSis's first only had 2 weeks BFing but her DD had 6 months - she found the latter an awful lot easier for travelling.

I seem to remember from being a kid myself that a lot of the UK is awesome and pretty good adventuring territory for a small person. Fingers crossed!

Travelling long haul with a baby = easy as long as the jet lag + sleep deprivation doesn't make you insane.

Travelling long haul with a toddler. Wahahahahahaha. 4 times this year and each time I would rather have stuck pins in my eyes

Bear in mind that, as a child reaches 4 or so on, a caravan/tent, a beach, some mud and a playground will be sources of great joy. Your long journey to find these things in Thailand May be wasted on him/her since they can be happy with the same found in Margate or Morecambe!
The big changes are things like not being able to head out all night sampling the local bars, and needing to go out with nappies/food etc and an eye to when nap time is.

Don't set anything for certain now, so much will depend on how the baby is and how you feel. I went to Florida at 3 months and transatlantic, European driving and UK holidays continued from that age. Nothing super adventurous though, an apartments in Florida, camping in France, that kind of thing.

It's entirely up to you. Yes it can be stressful travelling with young ones, but you can adapt and make it work. My youngest had been on four continents before he turned 2.

The one thing we did was swap swanky hotels for holiday flats and villas, where you get so much more space and privacy and you don't worry about annoying the other guests. We also have favourite spots where we return often, so we alternate between relaxing and more challenging holidays through the year. If you have friends in BC, why not do a house swap with them?

In my own experience, the hardest age to travel with kids is when they are between 6 and 18 months. Before that, they sleep; older than 18 months, you can plug them to an iPad reason them or bribe them.

It doesn't have to change.

I have travelled around Brazil, including remote parts of the Amazon, other parts of South America, Africa and India with my children right from when they were babies up to now (11 and 6). I was young when I had my first, never really intended on children and decided from the off that they wouldn't change my lifestyle. Obviously I grew up a bit and realised that my life would in fact have to change ( ) but travel has never been a problem. I don't do fancy travel, it's really basic, shoe string, not always entirely clean or safe stuff. I think of it as valuable life experience.

Wow! Remote Amazon, India, Africa from birth, on a small budget! Im seriously impressed Manic!

turns out we weren't that adventurous after all lol

Just shows the differences in peoples attitudes and what's do able for some, OP.