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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit freaked out by DPs behaviour..

290 replies

Meanderer · 29/12/2013 23:26

There's a cat that has been coming into our garden and even our house occasionally and frightening our two young cats. They are getting braver at hissing at him but he still dominates them and we think has sprayed scent on them. Today while I was out DP found this cat in the house so shut him in, chased him around shouting at him, then put him in a bath of cold water, all to frighten him off. He'd mentioned before that he was panning to do this and I asked him not to, because it seems really cruel and excessive and also I thought about how I'd feel if someone did that to one of ours..he's an aggressive cat yes but just doing what some cats do. My question really isn't whether he was unreasonable to do it, because I think he was and have told him so..but I'm feeling really uncomfortable that he could do this at all, even though he believes it was right to defend our young cats that way...I feel a bit creeped out by it. Am I being soft and should I be grateful on our cats behalf? I was hoping they'd just eventually be able to defend themselves.

OP posts:
lilyaldrin · 30/12/2013 00:15

Scaring a cat is really not "cruel". The cat wasn't injured, it's not going to be traumatised, it hopefully won't go back to where it shouldn't be.

eightandthreequarters · 30/12/2013 00:16

Cats do have a right to roam. Homeowners are welcome to take non-cruel measures to deter cats coming into their homes and gardens (ie, a spray bottle or water pistol). Generally, I think those prosecuting animal cruelty cases are looking at shooting/poisoning/injuring the animal. Not getting it wet and scaring it.

eightandthreequarters · 30/12/2013 00:17

Another LTB! Are you taking note, OP? Have you packed your bags?

Freyaee · 30/12/2013 00:18

Don't know how to link properly, but there's info here on legal right to roam for cats - first google result I called on. Not an official site, but here it is anyway: www.pets4homes.co.uk/pet-advice/your-pets-and-the-law.html

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 30/12/2013 00:19

Wasnt there a woman prosecuted for putting a cat in a bin? Thats less traumatic for a cat than being chased round a house with no way of escape and then dunked in cold water.

lilyaldrin · 30/12/2013 00:21

She didn't put it in the bin momentarily though - she left it there.

SomewhereBeyondTheSea · 30/12/2013 00:23

OP - get your cats a couple of indoor litter trays. Doesn't sort out the outdoor territory problem but will at least relieve (boom boom) the urgent need.

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 30/12/2013 00:24

Still less traumatic.

lilyaldrin · 30/12/2013 00:25

Not if it dies!

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 30/12/2013 00:28

It was in the bin a few hours if i remember correctly.

The cat in the OP could be outside tonight soaked through to the skin and freeze to death. Nice. Hardly any suffering at all Hmm

Pooka · 30/12/2013 00:34

We have a microchip reading cat flap. Has solved all problems relating to our cats feeling threatened by invaders.

Pooka · 30/12/2013 00:36

I understand the instinct to chase the cat.

I do not understand the planning involved in filling a bath with cold water and deliberately dunking. That's just plain OTT and calculated cruelty IMO.

bishboschone · 30/12/2013 00:41

Agree with all
Other posters , I would be very wary of someone who could be so cruel to an animal .
Do you have dc ?

Midori1999 · 30/12/2013 00:43

Good fucking god! How anyone can think actually trapping a cat in a house to scare it isn't cruel I don't know. Especially when there was a perfectly non cruel solution to the problem (litter trays and magnetic cat flap). Chasing it out would have been one thing, shutting it in in order to deliberately scare it, presumably for a fairly prolonged period of time if he ran a bath, is frightening tbh.

MissBurrows · 30/12/2013 00:48

I'm not sure if I missed this or not but, are your cats spayed, OP?
This male might be looking for a bit of action Wink .

Poor kitty though. Nothing warrants that sort of treatment.

PresidentServalan · 30/12/2013 01:34

He's a complete dick - LTB.

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 30/12/2013 02:44

I wouldn't stay with someone who could be this cruel to an animal. What if he decides one of yours needs teaching a lesson next, or beter still if he feels your child needs teaching not to do something and chooses a similar method... no thanks.

zippey · 30/12/2013 03:10

It's not cruel at all, he was defending the sanity of his cats. It would be like him physically assaulting your child's bully, in Bad Santa style.

A bit OTT but quite admirable too.

Water pistol would have been the best solution though.

Jengnr · 30/12/2013 03:14

Wait? A raised voice and water? That's it?

He didn't hurt it or be violent towards it? Big hooha over nothing. Although you could just not let it in.

And keep your cats in, like all cat owners should.

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 30/12/2013 03:19

I think if someone ran a cold bath for you, and forced you into it it'd be classed as violence.

DizzyZebra · 30/12/2013 03:31

Given that my dog fails to catch cats (not for lack of trying on his part), and he is faster than most humans, i think your OH is a liar.

DizzyZebra · 30/12/2013 03:33

Sorry i misread, i thought you meant he caught it in the garden hence i didnt believe it.

But no that was wrong as fuck for him to do.

DizzyZebra · 30/12/2013 03:41

And as far as "cats have a legal right to roam" goes, outdoors they are for some strange reason, considered a wild animal. But you are allowed to take reasonable measures to prevent them, same as any other wild animal. What OPs dh did was not reasonable and amounts to animal cruelty.

Being considered wild partly, though, means that they do not come under protection from various other things. You cant be prosecuted if your dog kills one for example, unless you shut the animals together with the sole intention of the cat being attacked. Then its animal cruelty.

DizzyZebra · 30/12/2013 03:43

And i agree with jengr. They should be kept in.

DizzyZebra · 30/12/2013 03:46

Alsl, sorry for the multiple posts, im on my phone and can only type so much before it goes funny. But why has no one pointed out that both of you are massive hypocrites for even complaining about this cat in the first place?