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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be a bit freaked out by DPs behaviour..

290 replies

Meanderer · 29/12/2013 23:26

There's a cat that has been coming into our garden and even our house occasionally and frightening our two young cats. They are getting braver at hissing at him but he still dominates them and we think has sprayed scent on them. Today while I was out DP found this cat in the house so shut him in, chased him around shouting at him, then put him in a bath of cold water, all to frighten him off. He'd mentioned before that he was panning to do this and I asked him not to, because it seems really cruel and excessive and also I thought about how I'd feel if someone did that to one of ours..he's an aggressive cat yes but just doing what some cats do. My question really isn't whether he was unreasonable to do it, because I think he was and have told him so..but I'm feeling really uncomfortable that he could do this at all, even though he believes it was right to defend our young cats that way...I feel a bit creeped out by it. Am I being soft and should I be grateful on our cats behalf? I was hoping they'd just eventually be able to defend themselves.

OP posts:
attheendoftheday · 29/12/2013 23:52

Wow. I think I would end a relationship over that. Cruelty to animals is not a good sign.

SpikeyChristmasTree · 29/12/2013 23:52

I just wasn't sure you understood the difference, phoolani. What with you equating a cat catching a bird with deliberate human cruelty towards an animal.

phoolani · 29/12/2013 23:53

Jeez, what cat owner has never shouted at their cat?? And some people on here admit to forcibly bathing their cats. Is there no end to this cruelty?

lilyaldrin · 29/12/2013 23:54

How did he get the cat into the bath OP?

InTheRedCorner · 29/12/2013 23:55

I don't belive this is possible. Does he have loads of scratches etc?

Gladvent · 29/12/2013 23:55

My friend threw her own cat into a paddling pool, I was quite shocked tbh but the cat didn't seem too bothered. If an unwanted cat came into my house and I happened to have a cold bath I wouldn't think it cruel to put cat in water - assuming not holding it down- but it would make an awful splashy mess as it dashed off surely?

usualsuspect · 29/12/2013 23:57

Are you the OPs DP,Phoolani?

Freyaee · 29/12/2013 23:57

I hope the cat isn't shut out of its home at night. Being soaked in cold water and left outside in this weather could make the poor thing very ill. I'd be searching for him or her and if you know who owns them knock on the door to tell them. They'll be rightly angry but better they know. Cats have a legal right to roam and so you can't do anything about their 'trespassing' but try and gently dissuade them as others have said (light water spray or chasing out the garden). I think your instinct is right and this is very cruel, odd behaviour.

usualsuspect · 29/12/2013 23:58

I don't think.a normal rational person would ever think this was ok.

AwfulMaureen · 29/12/2013 23:59

Phoolani I have never shouted at my cat! They're not like dogs ffs! They neither care nor understand about rules....they're cats! It's like shouting at a fox!

eightandthreequarters · 29/12/2013 23:59

I'm more impressed that premeditated cat-dunking has led to cries of LTB and even throwing the DP to the lions.

80sdrummer · 30/12/2013 00:00

I don't buy it, I can't believe that a cat who has been trapped and yelled at would go easily into a bath of water tbh.

Our long haired cat used to mess herself regularly as she got older and needed bathing. She was an old cat and it was done gently and lovingly, she was spoken to soothingly and was used to having it done, I still used to get scratched to buggery.

I reckon at most he has yelled at it then maybe stuck cats head under the kitchen tap, any more than that, particularly with an aggressive cat, and he would be missing a hand I reckon.

thornrose · 30/12/2013 00:01

"Cats have a legal right to roam" is this true, cats have legal rights? How bizarre.

lilyaldrin · 30/12/2013 00:04

I'm not buying the cat-in-the-bath thing either.

Trapping a cat and shouting at it to scare the shit out of it doesn't seem particularly cruel to me though, and it wouldn't bother me if DP did it.

usualsuspect · 30/12/2013 00:05

I think trapping a cat is cruel.

I think any deliberate attempt to terrify an animal is cruel.

LEMoncehadacatcalledSANTA · 30/12/2013 00:06

I don't believe this for a second - an aggressive cat? cold bath?? yeah, whatever Hmm

usualsuspect · 30/12/2013 00:07

And it would make me think my DP was a dickhead if he did it.

phoolani · 30/12/2013 00:07

It's really not like shouting at a fox. People don't shout at foxes; they demonise and shoot them because they kill all the chickens not just the ones they need to eat. But apparently perfectly fed cats can torture small animals purely for fun and it's just cats being cats. Fine, I'm happy with cats being cats but if one was terrorising my cats to the extent of making them pee in my house, I'd be happy spelling out that my cats' territory was not his territory. Cats are territorial as I understand it, so they'd get that message, I'm guessing. And nobody said he held it under the water, just that he put it in.

thornrose · 30/12/2013 00:07

I wouldn't see it as a reason to LTB.

lilyaldrin · 30/12/2013 00:09

Scaring a pest away is better than killing it.

usualsuspect · 30/12/2013 00:11

Killing it?

Fucking hell this place is nuts

eightandthreequarters · 30/12/2013 00:11

I suspect that cat touched water for a fraction of a second. One of mine falls into the bath all the time (likes to drink the bathwater, yet not very coordinated for a cat) and he moves faster than the speed of light getting back out. Barely wets a paw. It's impressive.

thornrose · 30/12/2013 00:11

Trapping cats, shouting at foxes, scaring pests, I have such a sheltered life Grin

Freyaee · 30/12/2013 00:12

Pretty sure it's true thornrose, though haven't checked.

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 30/12/2013 00:13

What a fucker! Nope wouldnt be with anyone who would do that. It's odd that he is a cat owner yet would do this to another cat. If one of your cats was dominting the other would he have done the same?