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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get annoyed at Dh's constant "Management" of me?

66 replies

AwfulMaureen · 29/12/2013 22:22

He's always got some gripe...."Can you please remember to turn off your laptop when you go to bed Awful? It's on ALL night all the time playing videos and chewing up electricity."

And "Please shut the bedroom window before you leave the bedroom in the morning....the blast of icy air is freezing the house out."

He leaves early and so I'm the last one out of the room....at night we sleep with the window open.

Anyway...he goes on and on about "Turn off the lights...turn off the laptop...." and it annoys me!

He walks around the house in his outdoor shoes and won't get to grips with taking them off but I'm supposed to take his "advice". Angry

OP posts:
WaffilyVersatile · 29/12/2013 22:24

well he is right about the laptop. why would he be bothered by the window if you sleep with it open? that's odd.

have you told him you want him to take off his shoes indoors?!

RandyRudolf · 29/12/2013 22:25

I feel your pain. I have the same issue with a housemate however it's most definitely a control issue on her part.

Fairenuff · 29/12/2013 22:26

Why do you leave the laptop on all night?

Original poster
AwfulMaureen · 29/12/2013 22:26

Waffly because once he's up and about, he puts the heating on and the heat escapes. When we're in bed, the heating is off but we like the cold air on our faces.

Of course I've told him about his shoes! I tell him ALL the time! I hate outdoor shoes inside....he could have trod on anything...

OP posts:
Original poster
AwfulMaureen · 29/12/2013 22:27

Faire Because I work on it and sometimes I have a lot of unfnished docs or open web pages and I am always afraid they'll "go away" if I shut down.

OP posts:
DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 29/12/2013 22:28

I think he has a point to be honest.

I'm sick to death of asking DP to close the bathroom window and turn his power lead off. Absolutely sick to death. It's nothing to do with trying to manage him.

MadAsFish · 29/12/2013 22:28

Save documents, bookmark pages?
What is playing videos by itself?

Original poster
AwfulMaureen · 29/12/2013 22:30

Oh...the laptop has vids as a screensaver...it goes through photos and vids and plays them when it's not in use.

Ok...AIBU. I will shut down....but he needs to take his dirty shoes off too!

OP posts:
JassyRadlett · 29/12/2013 22:31

Why doesn't he close the window when he gets up and turns the heating on?

McFox · 29/12/2013 22:31

Sounds like he has a point to me.

Why can't you just save stuff on your laptop like everyone else does? Its more likely to burn it out and lose the work if you keep it running for hours on end anyway.

Fairenuff · 29/12/2013 22:31

I tell him ALL the time

Well he tells you ALL time as well and you don't listen to him so why should he listen to you?

Perhaps you could both be more considerate of each other.

MoreThanChristmasCrackers · 29/12/2013 22:35

I think he has a point OP, however, I too know what it is like to feel nagged at or managed all the time. My dh has spells of it and then nothing, even ignoring what he usually moans about.

Getting them to see perspective helps, like will the world end if you don't shut the window, turn off lap top.

He is probably just worried about waste and also maybe the security of your docs if you are leaving lap top on over night.

There is a book called don't sweat the small stuff, about 10 years old now, so not new. I bought this as a joke pressie for dh and it did have some benefit.

GlitzAndGiggles · 29/12/2013 22:35

I'd be worried about the laptop overheating and possibly blowing up! My mum's phone left a nasty burn on her arm when she accidentally slept on it. Why can't he shut the windows if he's turning the heating on?

MajesticWhine · 29/12/2013 22:42

I thought most laptops powered down into sleep mode after about 10 minutes idle. My DH is a fussy one but he's never mentioned this one.

McFox · 29/12/2013 22:45

Only if you set it to power down. I'd imagine that the OP's isn't if she's deliberately leaving it on.

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 29/12/2013 22:50

Both of those things seem reasonable, but I do understand what it's like to live with someone who just 'gripes' all the time in a 'do as you are told' manner, but ignores anything you ask of them, so you do have my sympathy.

Learn how to put your laptop on hibernate & tell him to shut the window when he gets up.

peggyundercrackers · 29/12/2013 22:51

I can see his point on both the things you mention but I can also see your point of getting him to take his shoes off. you are both being unreasonable.

WorraLiberty · 29/12/2013 22:55

If you were a man OP, the phrase 'manchild' would have been posted repeatedly by now Grin

Take responsibility and then he won't have to 'manage' you.

Monty27 · 29/12/2013 22:55

You are both bu I'm sick of telling my grown up dc's the same. It's not healthy to keep them running and its also expensive. I am also sick of telling them to take their shoes off in the hall.

Do a compromise :)

Caitlin17 · 29/12/2013 22:58

I thought it was a cardinal rule to save everything regularly as you go. Sorry OP but leaving it running all night long in case you lose things is just daft for several reasons.

Nanny0gg · 29/12/2013 23:00

If you can't be arsed to save and close your laptop down, at least set it to Sleep.

And why leave the windows wide open when the heating comes on?

Are you just being awkward or do you like chucking money down the drain?

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 29/12/2013 23:10

Leaving the laptop on all night is silly. Save your work and bookmark the web pages.

Closing the window before the heating comes on is just common sense.

friday16 · 29/12/2013 23:14

Because I work on it and sometimes I have a lot of unfnished docs or open web pages and I am always afraid they'll "go away" if I shut down.

Is this 1997 and computers don't support hibernation? I close the lid. The machine sleeps and then hibernates. In the morning I open the lid, and there's everything, just where I left it.

friday16 · 29/12/2013 23:29

And screensavers? FFS: why on earth do you need one? Again, is this 1997 and we're all using CRT monitors? Can't you just blank the screen, at least, and turn the backlight off?

Caitlin17 · 29/12/2013 23:31

You should not be leaving unfinished documents unsaved.