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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go on holiday meaning ds2 misses first 4 days of reception?

134 replies

Mosschops30 · 29/12/2013 20:40

This is a holiday of a lifetime for us so not a regular occurance
Ive got two older children who ive never taken out for holidays and never will again.
However if i go 4 days earlier its approx £800 more expensive which could be our spending money.

Ds2 will have a staggered intake into reception anyway so he may not even start til the thursday or friday.

Would i ruin his life if he didnt start until the following monday? Will everyone have made friends?

OP posts:
WeAllHaveWings · 30/12/2013 16:37

Grin diddl

Original poster
Mosschops30 · 30/12/2013 16:45

Grin Diddl

OP posts:
Bunnyjo · 30/12/2013 16:48

DD missed the first week of school because I was in hospital after major emergency surgery, then DS (3mth old at the time) was hospitalised and treated for suspected meningitis. Thankfully, he only had rotavirus.

Although there was nothing we could do, I felt awful - she missed the reception starters photo that goes in the local newspaper amongst other things. Because of our exceptional reasons for her missing the first week of school, the school went over and above to ensure DD had a special first day and she really did.

If I were you, no I wouldn't take DC out of school for a holiday and certainly not at the start of term. I don't think you'll scar him for life or anything, but there are certain firsts that cannot be repeated - the first day of school is one of them.

As an aside, you cannot be fined for your DS2 missing school (as he won't be of compulsory school age), but you could be fined for your DS1 missing school. If your school and LA are particularly harsh on unauthorised absence, you could find yourselves with a bill of £240 per parent, rising to £480 per parent if not paid within a certain amount of time - that would be more than the amount you're saving by taking the holiday over term time...

diddl · 30/12/2013 16:50

It's a marmite thing, isn't it?

I just couldn't take my kids out of school "just" for a holiday.

It's not an important enough reason for me-no matter what the holiday!

I also hate all this "it's only one day, they won't miss anything, he's only 4 "blah blah blah as well tbh.

If it's so unimportant, I wonder why it's bothered with at all!!

diddl · 30/12/2013 16:52

"As an aside, you cannot be fined for your DS2 missing school (as he won't be of compulsory school age)"

That sort of makes no sense to me, as surely once you send them, you agree to send them in school hrs, not pick & choose when it suits you until they are of CSA iyswim.

TaillessChicken · 30/12/2013 17:00

It all depends whether or not you are happy telling your children that a trip to Disneyland is more important than school - for that is the message you will be giving them.

Make a decision if you really think it is more important and then go with your decision. If you were really happy to take them then I doubt you'd be asking us because you would know it was the right thing to do and the collective views of AIBU wouldn't matter one iota.

Bunnyjo · 30/12/2013 17:00

I agree, diddl. The Education Act is quite precise though and states 'of compulsory school age' in relation to absence.

Tinkertaylor1 · 30/12/2013 17:02

He is only four and it will not matter in the greater scheme of things.

The travel company's are out of order for charging what they do and it impacts massively if average households can afford abroad holidays. On this occasion I would go for it!

I did with my dd, single parent family with just my wage, so it was easier for her to miss a few days at the start of term.

I also took dd to Disneyland USA . It was fantastic but you will need that £800 for the bloody Disney land stores !!

isanyoneelsehotandcold · 30/12/2013 17:20

I think you should definitely go, OP. TBH, I wouldn't even question it. I hope you all have a great time if you do decide to go for it.

JumpJockey · 30/12/2013 17:23

It's very hard to say what the first week of reception will involve - we were expecting dd to start with half days for a week this autumn, and only found out at a meeting in July that she would have one 15 minute meeting with the teacher in the whole week and that was it... (They changed the procedure this year for the first time) Is there any way to confirm with the school what the arrangements will be as that may influence your decision?

MoreThanChristmasCrackers · 30/12/2013 17:37

didl

It's important because we are told it is and some parents make a huge fuss. Do you believe everything you hear?
2 of my 3 dc started school without their being any fuss made about the first day at all. They are older and it wasn't deemed necessary.
There were loads who missed the first day, now in their 20's they don't seemed to be scarred at all Grin

Original poster
Mosschops30 · 30/12/2013 17:43

Single parent here too so would only be fined £240
I don't think they fine here, have never heard of it from other parents

OP posts:
TaillessChicken · 30/12/2013 17:46

"The travel company's are out of order for charging what they do and it impacts massively if average households can afford abroad holidays. On this occasion I would go for it! "

So they go on holiday in this country, it's not a disaster if they can't. I can't see that as a massive impact when having to holiday in the country you live in is still a holiday. Nobody is entitled to a holiday, least of all a holiday abroad - it's a luxury not a right.

diddl · 30/12/2013 17:46

I'm sure kids aren't scarred.

I think that school is more important than holidays & wouldn't let my kids miss it for a holiday.

I'm obviously in a minority.

everlong · 30/12/2013 17:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TaillessChicken · 30/12/2013 17:49

diddl make it a minority of 2.

snowed · 30/12/2013 17:50

I vote for starting school with the others.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 30/12/2013 18:07

I'm in your camp diddl.
As for the idea that you will need the £800 for Disney shopping... Confused

livinginawinterwonderland · 30/12/2013 18:25

I think he should start school as normal. You can go to Florida another time. He only starts school once and he deserves the same start as everyone else in his class.

CloudyWithAChanceOfPinotGrigio · 30/12/2013 18:25

Don't beat yourself up about it. My son missed the first week of reception as we were in the middle of a house move and it was too difficult to do everything and get him to school. They were fine with it.

SuburbanRhonda · 30/12/2013 18:51

cloudy Shock

You found it easier to move house with a four-year-old in tow than to have him in school?

usualsuspect · 30/12/2013 18:54

I think you should go for it.

Joysmum · 30/12/2013 19:00

I got taken out of school when I first started at senior school. It wasn't my catchment area school and only 4 of us went from my junior school.

I would never take my own DD out of the beginning of a school year thanks to the fallout from that. I got back to find friendship groups already made and felt an outsider. I felt worse because the others knew the routine and were more settled.

I was horribly bullied, hell I'm crying writing this and I'm now 40 FFS! It left its mark.

Whilst I'd possibly take my DD out of school once settled, there's no way I'd do it going into a new school year, and definitely no way I'd do it if she were starting at a new school.

Creamycoolerwithcream · 30/12/2013 19:27

Have you looked at all flight/10/11 day options?

highho1 · 30/12/2013 20:09

My ds missed the 1st week of nursery due to a family holiday. It did not ruin his life. He is currently inyear 4 and is reallly popular. Head agreed he would be fine but later marked it as unauthorised but that would be another thread. If you go ahead enjoy and don't feel guilty. It's a great holiday destination.