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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go on holiday meaning ds2 misses first 4 days of reception?

134 replies

Mosschops30 · 29/12/2013 20:40

This is a holiday of a lifetime for us so not a regular occurance
Ive got two older children who ive never taken out for holidays and never will again.
However if i go 4 days earlier its approx £800 more expensive which could be our spending money.

Ds2 will have a staggered intake into reception anyway so he may not even start til the thursday or friday.

Would i ruin his life if he didnt start until the following monday? Will everyone have made friends?

OP posts:
SuburbanRhonda · 29/12/2013 21:11

OP, if the school makes an exception for you because you already have a good relationship with them, make sure you keep it to yourself. Other parents understandably don't take kindly to what they perceive as favouritism.

lilyaldrin · 29/12/2013 21:13

I'd go for it.

Will reception children even be attending school in the first week of term? At our local school the first week is the teacher doing home visits, then there are 2 weeks of half days before they actually start properly.

ThePinkOcelot · 29/12/2013 21:15

My dds are missing the first 2 days of school in September. It was £59 each cheaper to fly back a day later, which as you say could go towards spending money. Don't think I would do it if it was their first day at school, either reception or Yr 7, which it will be for dd2 Sept 15. Sorry, not much help.

SuburbanRhonda · 29/12/2013 21:24

I actually think this is a good place to ask this question, lijkk, because so many people on here agree with taking children out of school for cheaper holidays, and if the OP has already decided she's going to do it, which I'm guessing she has, her decision will be affirmed on here.

grumpalumpgrumped · 29/12/2013 21:34

I most likely wouldn't have with DS1 as he would have struggled. DS2 most likely wouldn't notice.

We had 2 children not start until the January term and they settled in and made friends with no issues. DS1 school they did 2, then 3 days for the first 2 weeks, then mornings, then til 1pm, then all day!

Coconutty · 29/12/2013 21:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShoeWhore · 29/12/2013 21:45

I'm generally pretty relaxed about kids missing a few days of school but I wouldn't do it in this instance. Those early days are all about learning school routines and how everything works. Pretty important stuff when you're 4!

Original poster
Mosschops30 · 29/12/2013 21:56

It will be a staggered intake.
Some will start tuesday 2nd, others friday 5th so potentially could be only missing one day or four
Ive just looked at prices again, i just cant justify spending that much extra Sad

OP posts:
HappyMummyOfOne · 29/12/2013 22:20

I wouldnt either, first day at school is a big deal to a child and you can go away anytime but then again i disagree with term time holidays so am biased. Heads no longer have the power to authorise holidays unless exceptional circumstances regardless of the relationship with the school so it would be unauthorised.

SuburbanRhonda · 29/12/2013 22:25

OP - you still haven't told us why this is a "holiday of a lifetime" and why it has to be taken in September and not at the end of the summer term.

Original poster
Mosschops30 · 29/12/2013 22:26

I'm not bothered about the unauthorised absence, it's only for school stats, an unauthorised absence is not going to leave him in therapy

Just worried missing first day of school might Grin

OP posts:
notwoo · 29/12/2013 22:27

Just request that he is in the intake that only misses 1 day. I'm pretty sure that class teachers have the discretion to do that-its not them that deal with the fines etc. My friend managed to change the intake her dd was in as she didn't know any of the other children starting that day-just took a 5 minute chat with teacher on open evening

SuburbanRhonda · 29/12/2013 23:12

As I said upthread, just be careful not to mention it to another parent if the school makes a special case for your child. At our school, one family was allowed to have their reception child start full-time, even though the child was in the youngest cohort, because the parents both worked full-time and the child had previously been in full-time nursery.

When word got out to other parents, it was not a pretty sight!

Also, OP, attendance figures are inspected by Ofsted and very poor attendance can put a school into special measures, so it's not quite just a data-collecting exercise.

lilyaldrin · 29/12/2013 23:20

Anyone can request that their child starts full time, it's hardly making a special case.

MoreThanChristmasCrackers · 29/12/2013 23:29

I definitely would OP.
No problem at all, school or holiday of a life time. Now let me see?
Your reception child will just be shown where to hang is coat by another kid. When its time to sit on the carpet, follow the others.
I really wouldn't worry, disruptive my ass.

BikeRunSki · 30/12/2013 06:54

How old will your child be in the first week of term ? I thought you didn't have to send your child to school/Homw ed until they were actually 5. I may be wrong, and happy to be corrected.

DameDeepRedBetty · 30/12/2013 07:03

I disagree with the majority. Due to a family crisis, I missed the first couple of days of the September term one year - not even an 'important' year, starting a new school or exams or anything like that. It took me until after Christmas to get comfortable, all sorts of small things that I simply didn't know kept creeping up on me, and all the seats near my friends got allocated to other people so I was stuck on tables with children I didn't get on with.

OrangeMochaFrappucino · 30/12/2013 07:18

Are the fines per child per parent per day? If you have two children missing four days each, couldn't the potential fine be very high? That would be my worry.

If it's a staggered intake, surely it would be easier for your child to be put with the late starters, so I don't see that causing much disruption as everyone will be starting at different times anyway. I would just check out the situation with potential fines.

bigkidsdidit · 30/12/2013 07:21

I wouldn't. All sorts of little things will be explained to the whole class and he won't be there, he'll be playing catch up for weeks.

Lifeisaboxofchocs · 30/12/2013 07:31

Certainly not a big deal, not going to harm his education in the long run or anything like that.

But no, I certainly would not do it. Not. A. Chance.

wanderings · 30/12/2013 07:35

Does he get on well with other children his age? He might find it harder to "belong" if he doesn't start at the same time as everyone else.

I agree about the "lots of little things being explained" on the first day, I remember many of these little things I needed to know from most of the schools I went to.

ballstoit · 30/12/2013 07:38

I'd be more worried about the DC in year 4 tbh, he will definitely miss out some settling in and reestablishing routines. Unlike reception, year 4 are not going to have that stuff repeated for weeks until they get the hang of it.

With a potential £240 fine (£60 per child, per parent) that reduces your saving to £550 ish...depends how much the holiday is over all, whether you can afford the extra and your DC personalities I guess.

SJisontheway · 30/12/2013 07:39

Go for it op. He won't miss much at all and it takes a lot longer than a few days for most reception children to form friendships. Enjoy your holiday

ProudAS · 30/12/2013 08:20

If he's starting reception he won't be compulsory school age in September so you can't be fined for taking him out.

As for the school's statistics I don't think reception count in the published attendance figures.

BooBudolphMeowson · 30/12/2013 08:22

I wouldn't... the holidays I went on as a child were not the same as ny first day of school.

As discussed, you're making this child miss out on his right of passage so you.can go on holiday.

The fact that you're asking means you can afford the £800 if you really had to push.

That said I don't think it would cause your son any settling in problems

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