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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to want to have an adults only housewarming party?

120 replies

OrangeIsNotTheOnlyFruitShoot · 29/12/2013 13:17

I moved home two months ago,and I'm planning on having a housewarming party in Jamuary,once most of the festivities are over. I wasn't planning on having one at all,as I'm not a party person,but people keep asking when we're having one,so I thought I'd have a simple food and drinks party.There'll be some music,but nothing to disturb the neighbours.

WIBU to make it adults only? I love children,but I'd prefer to restrict it to adults,because the atmosphere is rather different,we don't have to restrict our conversation so much,and because I don't really know what to do with a horde of children when I'll be busy cooking.

One 'acquaintance' has complained though that she can't bring her 4 and 7 year olds,and has asked me to make an exception. She says it's weird,and rude, to have a house warming party without kids.

So AIBU?

OP posts:

littlewhitechristmasbag · 29/12/2013 13:21

It's up to you who you invite but i think for a housewarming having children there is usual. You may find that friends with children don't accept if they have childcare problems. As long as you accept this then have the housewarming party that you want.

BohemianGirl · 29/12/2013 13:21

I'd have it in the summer and have a BBQ - sling the children outside. Job done!

Idocrazythings · 29/12/2013 13:21

No you're not. Do you have DC?

DejaVuAllOverAgain · 29/12/2013 13:22

If you want an adult house warming party then have one.

Original poster

OrangeIsNotTheOnlyFruitShoot · 29/12/2013 13:23

I don't have a problem with people declining the invitation if they can't make it,or choose not to.

OP posts:

Original poster

OrangeIsNotTheOnlyFruitShoot · 29/12/2013 13:24

No. I don't have DC yet.

OP posts:

BohemianGirl · 29/12/2013 13:24

I cant think of anything worse than other peoples children when you havent got any yourself.

IAmTheOneWhoKnocks · 29/12/2013 13:26

Yanbu. It's your house and your party! Those who can't find childcare will just have to miss it.

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 29/12/2013 13:26

No you're not unreasonable. People seem to forget that adults are allowed to be away from their children once in a while.. and that not all people want children running around their homes when they want to have an adult drink and conversation.

It isn't rude at all. However my friend recently did the same and she got someone complaining about it.

Kids ended up coming, guess who was looking after the children that were fighting, crying, demanding, messing everywhere up... oh mugggins Baubles here

Original poster

OrangeIsNotTheOnlyFruitShoot · 29/12/2013 13:26

I love children,and often babysit for friends,and sometimes have their DC for days at a time so the parents can go away for short breaks,but I love adults only events too.

OP posts:

Idocrazythings · 29/12/2013 13:27

As a parent I love to get out to child free events, (doesn't happen that often. I hope you are going to have cocktails for those parents that choose to come and get a babysitter

woodlandwanderwoman · 29/12/2013 13:29

YANBU, especially if you don't have DC yourself. It's your house and personally I would love an evening drinks party and without having to worry about when DS is going to launch himself from the top stair.

I would think if you had it in the day, it would be odd not to invite children. Have it in the evening when they have all gone to bed, then most people will have no issues.

Birdsgottafly · 29/12/2013 13:29

We (family/close friends) usually have a mixed start and then children home at 9, it's then upto patents if they stay, potential baby sitters can come upto 9.

Other times when it has been a good se age group of children, they have stayed in one room with food and a DVD, as the night went on.

But totally upto you, you are entitled to have an adults only party. If you were having a late pub do, they would have to get child care.

somewhatavoidant · 29/12/2013 13:30

If it's a daytime event, it would be a bit odd to make it adults only especially if you have kids yourself. If you don't have dc it's unreasonable of others to expect to bring their kids providing it's an evening affair. You could make it an 8pm start and people can get a babysitter & enjoy a night out. If you don't fancy having a party, don't do it. It's no one's business but your own

iklboo · 29/12/2013 13:30

We'll be having a housewarming next year after we move (and get settled). It'll definitely be an adults only affair. To be fair, though, none of the people we're inviting would want to bring their kids.

Caitlin17 · 29/12/2013 13:30

Not in the slightest. Even when I had a small child I occasionally threw an adult only party and son stayed overnight with our nanny.

MamaMumra · 29/12/2013 13:30

Up to you really.

Grennie · 29/12/2013 13:31

If it is a late evening party, then adults only makes total sense. Nothing worse than over tired children running about at a party.

IAmTheOneWhoKnocks · 29/12/2013 13:31

Most parents enjoy an adult only party anyway. I know I do!

AnAdventureInCakeAndWine · 29/12/2013 13:32

YANBU at all but I'd expect an adults-only party to be in the evening (not clear whether yours is). A daytime adults-only party would be more of an issue because finding daytime babysitters is difficult, especially as DCs tend to have weekend activities they have to be ferried around to. You'd still be entirely within your rights to have an adults-only daytime party, of course, but it would be more of a pain for your guests.

Grennie · 29/12/2013 13:32

And it is not rude to have a party without kids. It is wierd to assume that children should be allowed to go everywhere.

BrianTheMole · 29/12/2013 13:32

Its up to you. Yanbu though.

Pinkspottyegg · 29/12/2013 13:33

Personally I think it's rude of your 'aquaintance' to say it's rude and weird. And if she is just an acquaintance then fuck her. She won't get upgraded to friend status with comments like that.

Bogeyface · 29/12/2013 13:33

Even if it was a child friendly party I would get a babysitter and leave the kids at home.

This isnt to do with your choice to not invite kids, its to do with people who think that because their children are the centre of their universe, they should be the centre of yours too.

My SIL stopped speaking to me several years ago because I refused to make an exception to allow her 5 year old to an adult party. It would not have been suitable for her at all. SIL didnt even ask she just said "I cant get a babysitter so I am bringing DD" and when I said that it wouldnt be doable she went absolutely shitting insane! Best thing I ever did tbh, she is toxic and I suspect NPD, its been lovely and peaceful since she stopped trying to order me about talking to me!

RandyRudolf · 29/12/2013 13:33

I think your aquaintance is the weird and rude one. Just as you have to accept some invitations may be declined due to children/childcare issues then she should accept the fact that she will have to decline invitations because it is an adults only event and she can't bring her kids.

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