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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to want to have an adults only housewarming party?

120 replies

OrangeIsNotTheOnlyFruitShoot · 29/12/2013 13:17

I moved home two months ago,and I'm planning on having a housewarming party in Jamuary,once most of the festivities are over. I wasn't planning on having one at all,as I'm not a party person,but people keep asking when we're having one,so I thought I'd have a simple food and drinks party.There'll be some music,but nothing to disturb the neighbours.

WIBU to make it adults only? I love children,but I'd prefer to restrict it to adults,because the atmosphere is rather different,we don't have to restrict our conversation so much,and because I don't really know what to do with a horde of children when I'll be busy cooking.

One 'acquaintance' has complained though that she can't bring her 4 and 7 year olds,and has asked me to make an exception. She says it's weird,and rude, to have a house warming party without kids.

So AIBU?

OP posts:

dontcallmemam · 30/12/2013 07:07

I'm loving the cat and dog wedding comment

dancingwithmyselfandthecat · 30/12/2013 08:33

SapphireMoon · 30/12/2013 09:07

As long as you stick to the 'no child ' rule, yanbu. It is when people have made an effort to sort childcare out and then some children there at party/ wedding whatever...that an issue [apart from a newborns maybe which is more understandable].

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 30/12/2013 09:40

YABU - In fact if it's an evening party I would say it's the norm :)

BalloonSlayer · 30/12/2013 09:51

We were invited to an "adults only" do recently. I think the "adults only" bit was specified because it was quite an early start. Because of the early start it was a bit difficult for us re babysitters and we had to leave the party early.

The funny thing was that there were some children there. I don't whether they were exempt from the rule, or had ignored it, or whether the reason no more DCs were allowed was because the hosts thought they could cope with these couple of DCs and no more . . . it doesn't really matter and I wasn't bothered. But the DCs were a nightmare, rushing around, overtired, wailing, getting underfoot (all because of tiredness, they were lovely kids) - exactly what ours would have been like and I was so glad we hadn't brought them with us.

CaptainSweatPants · 30/12/2013 09:56

OrangeIsNotTheOnlyFruitShoot Sun 29-Dec-13 13:38:40
Acquaintance also said that it's not fair to refuse to allow children,because my cat and dog will be present. They'll be in another part of the house

Are you having us on??
Do you really have a friend who says things like that??

Mintyy · 30/12/2013 10:13

So why did you namechange half way through the thread op? Am confused.

AlaskaNebraska · 30/12/2013 10:32

women only is a bit... different

Original poster

OrangeIsNotTheOnlyFruitShoot · 30/12/2013 10:35

No she actually said the cat and dog thing. I'm not sure if she realised how absurd it was,because she didn't mention them again.

The slight name change was a mistake. I'm a fairly regular poster,but this is not my usual posting name. I changed because I think I may be a little too easily identifiable from some of the details given, to any friends who may be reading,so I didn't want it under my usual posting name.

And I forgot exactly what the other name was when switching between this one and my regular name,and mistyped it,because I'm an idiot with a terrible memory.

OP posts:

Original poster

OrangeIsNotTheOnlyFruitShoot · 30/12/2013 11:10

Women only parties seem to be quite common with my friends. It's not that we deliberately exclude men,but most of them seem to prefer going out without their partners,and generally wouldn't consider going with them for the majority of events.

We do do the couple thing sometimes,though I've been out of the loop there for a while now,and don't attend most of the parties/nights out,so perhaps I have committed a faux pas by having it women only.

OP posts:

Original poster

OrangeIsNotTheOnlyFruitShoot · 30/12/2013 11:19

and yes,IDoCrazyThings. There will be cocktails. I was thinking of hiring a batman to mix cocktails and things,as it's one less job for me,and I don't drink alcohol and know sod all about it.

OP posts:

Thumbnutstwitchingonanopenfire · 30/12/2013 12:49

Oh if it's going to be a "girl's only" party then I REALLY can't understand why she'd want to bring her DC! That's DEFINITELY heading into "weird" territory.

Orange(s) - really, just invite whom you want to but do make it clear on the invitation, however sent, that it is JUST for the women, no add ons of any kind (not even cats or dogs, despite you having one of each at home - it's not their party either).

Original poster

OrangeIsNotTheOnlyFruitShoot · 30/12/2013 13:54

I'll make it as clear as possible on the invite ThumbNuts. I've issued verbal invitations,stating as such,but I'll be sending out invitations too,and I'll make sure that it's clear on those too.

OP posts:

2rebecca · 30/12/2013 14:03

Adult only parties mean you don't have to hide away ornaments, can put down drinks without them being knocked over, can put out snacks without them being knocked over or instantly vanishing with half the snack trod into the carpet, and can talk to each other without being constantly interrupted or not being able to concentrate because you are watching your child.
I have kids but would never have suggested a friend having a party invite my kids.
If people can't/won't get a babysitter then they decline.

AlaskaNebraska · 30/12/2013 14:34

I want a batman

AlaskaNebraska · 30/12/2013 14:35

Partic one who serves drinks

RedToothBrush · 30/12/2013 14:59

She says it's weird,and rude, to have a house warming party without kids.

Its weird and rude to tell other people who they should and shouldn't invite to a party. Especially when she then goes on about your cat and dog.

Her problem is that she no longer is able to socialise or have a social identity without her child. It'd do her good to be forced to do something without them.

But tbh, I wouldn't invite the loon as she's made you question yourself and feel guilty over her problem, which isn't fair.

She'd probably drive me crazy as no doubt she's one of these who can not hold a conversation without referring to her children anyway.

Eggsiseggs · 30/12/2013 17:02

Bloody hell.
How rude is this woman?!!

There are lots of different types of parties. There are dinner parties, BBQs, family parties, hen parties, leaving do parties, Christmas parties, etc.

Would she being her kid to her Christnas do for work? Hope not!

If you had said: I am having a little housewarming party, just nibbles and drinks from about 2pm, I would expect DCs to be included. However, surely any normal person when invited to an evening party would nicely check 'are we bringing kids or not?' and suck up the answer.

Child care is the responsibility of the parent. Some parents are very ego centric!

Flipping heck, I hope no one is bringing their kids to my piss up party tomorrow night!!

dontcallmemam · 30/12/2013 17:11

Is anyone else begging the op to change the invitation?

'I'm having a house warming for my close friends and their pets'. She really mustn't offend any domestic animal owning mates

PenguinsDontEatStollen · 30/12/2013 17:17

I thought this was going to be about the sort of 'all day drop in' house warming, where I do think it's nice to include families. An evening party I would absolutely expect to be adults only. Even if it meant only DH or I could go, not together.

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