AIBU to want to have an adults only housewarming party?

[OrangeIsNotTheOnlyFruitShoot]

I moved home two months ago,and I'm planning on having a housewarming party in Jamuary,once most of the festivities are over. I wasn't planning on having one at all,as I'm not a party person,but people keep asking when we're having one,so I thought I'd have a simple food and drinks party.There'll be some music,but nothing to disturb the neighbours.

WIBU to make it adults only? I love children,but I'd prefer to restrict it to adults,because the atmosphere is rather different,we don't have to restrict our conversation so much,and because I don't really know what to do with a horde of children when I'll be busy cooking.

One 'acquaintance' has complained though that she can't bring her 4 and 7 year olds,and has asked me to make an exception. She says it's weird,and rude, to have a house warming party without kids.

So AIBU?

Apologies for unintentional drip feeding,but said acquaintance has a husband,and isn't socially isolated,to the best of my knowledge.
She just wants to bring them. she hasn't asked to bring her Husband though.
Have I committed another faux pas by not inviting him? I don't know him at all

It's selfish on other adults if you insist on dragging your children to other events that are meant to be adults only.

I don't care what anyone says, you haven't got your eye on them all the time. And if you try to, you're not relaxing, you're constantly trying to keep them out of trouble or entertain them.

and it's difficult to engage in conversation when you know there's a little un teetering along in the back ground.

And sometimes in places I've been to parents have gone 'oh they'll be fine just let them play quietly' and it results in other adults doing the bloody parenting because they'll do anything but play quietly.

I'm also having nightmare visions of one of the children getting out and ending up in the stream,or pond.

Oranges. Just tell her "its an adult party. I am sorry but no your kids can't come". It's your party... FFS, what's wrong with these people! It's an adult party.

Um.....

Your house your rules.

Grow some.

Nothing rude or unusual at all op. Odd that you are being pressurised like this. We have loads of parties. Many include children, some don't. You're right, there is a different atmosphere and parents enjoy a break from their kids.

Thankyou all for your thoughts,opinions and advice. It's been very helpful. I've decided that I'm sticking with the adults only theme,partly because having children present will change the atmosphere considerably,but also because of safety fears.

I don't imagine that anyone will get so drunk that they don't know what they're doing,and I'm not accusing them of being neglectful patents,but there will be alcohol involved,and people will be relaxing. I don't drink,but will be busy,so keeping an eye on the kids will not be so simple.

My front door cannot be locked with a key from the inside. And as mentioned there's a fast flowing stream not even ten yards away,also a pond and within a short walking distance,a canal. I for one would not be able to relax and enjoy myself,or concentrate on hosting for worrying about the children.

I'm happy to have a barbecue for adults and children, once the weather is suitable,and the garden landscaped,but I think this event will remain adults only.

I probably sound like I live in some sort of child death trap. All I need to complete the picture,are crocodiles,or perhaps sharks with laser beams.

Your house, your rules. It isn't odd at all as you have no children. Your acquaintance is nuts!

Please stick to "sorry it's adults only" and don't go into the safety concerns etc as she sounds like she'll try and argue the toss. No is a complete sentence, as they say :D also YANBU.

aHA! Cunning namechange there, Oranges. Couldn't immediately work out what had changed...

Good, glad you've decided to stick to your guns, you're right, that sort of water peril is not appropriate for small children to be around.

Oops sorry. I didn't even notice that I'd changed it. Unintentionally I might add. My memory is terrible.

All adults (parents) need grown up time

Don't get the parents who never leave their children with GPS/babysitter /friend etc

But yes you should ask your friends dh and not just her

Not saying couples must always live in each other's pockets (love my girly drunken nights) but you won't get to know him if you never see him

Or is it a girly house warming?

It was going to be women only.

I've nothing against her husband,but I'm in no particularly hurry to get to know him,as she herself is not quite what I'd call a friend. She and I both volunteer with the same,small,organisation/service.

Or is it the done thing to invite couples? I would also prefer women only on this occasion. This is why I don't have parties,besides the fact that I'm an unsociable grump. I'm also completely clueless about party etiquette.

Generally parties are for couples (if in a relationship) obv can invite singles

But if a girly one then make sure all know this or may be turn up with dh/dp etc

Women only is fine. It's YOUR party. You invite whoever you like. If they do have partners and kids, then job done for babysitters . Sounds ace in fact.

Btw, did you actually say you look after other people's kids for days at a time so they can go away. Are you in the market for a new best friend? If so, I'll mail you my CV asap.

Have whatever kind of party you like, but don't be surprised if friends with DCs decline.

Having very very little baby sitting (basically my my DSIS being prepared to come 80 miles)

A house party where it ought to be possible to bring DCs is not going to find favour.

You're not being rude and weird at all, she is for questioning it. Your party, your rules.

Agree with everyone else - YANBU.

Generally our house parties these days involve two bedrooms full of 5-11 yos watching dvds & then crashing under sleeping bags, but we're geared up for them, having 3, & most of our friends have young dc also; pre-dc we wouldn't have wanted to be bothered with children there, & once ours are at the age of going out/holing up for the night I imagine we'll be back to that.

I wouldn't turn a hair at a 'no kids' invite - I'd get a babysitter if poss, or either dh or I would go depending on whose friend the host was, or I'd decline with apologies.

Yet another YANBU.. Don't go into details or give excuses.

Repeat after me.. 'It's an adult only party' etc etc

Your house, your party. Nothing wrong with adults only at all - it's not a legal requirement to invite children, even if some people on MN think it is!

Nothing wrong with grown-ups only parties: as has been pointed out upthread, a good number of parents enjoy a child-free night.

A couple of days ago I was at a post-Christmas day-time barbecue that was so eminently the right thing for children - open garden, free movement. The pity was not one parent saw fit to supervise their toddlers double-dipping, picking up and rejecting finger food then going on to the next bit. A good job for everyone's digestive system that a few non-parents, myself included, supervised the food with humour, so child was pissed off, and no-one was subjected to mauled food.

Our reward was to punish the Moet without mercy.:o

That should be "no child was pissed off".

Lol at cat and dog

YANBU

velvetspoon YABU. You presumably interact with other adults even if you are working. When youve been at home talking toddler all day an adult conversation is needed.

Mine go to bed when theyre tired (usually between 7 and 8) but i am relieved when they do to be able to talk, and generally exist for a few hours without someone interuppting me (dd does this constantly) squealing, tantrummung or jumping on and off the sofa (ds1) or needing my attention in any way at all really.

And i enjoy child free parties. Children do change the atmosphere. I dont feel comfortable discussing certain things with friends that i might otherwise ask their advice on.