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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to find humour on male rape uncomfortable?

69 replies

BabstheChicken · 24/12/2013 20:31

Hi everyone,

First time posting, on a relatively random topic. I'm watching the film 'Horrible Bosses' and thought I'd canvas some opinions.

The film is fairly funny, but some of the humour makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. There is one man whose female boss sexually harasses him, and even goes as far as taking pictures of them in sexual positions together which she threatens to use to blackmail him. I'm just very aware that, if the genders were reversed, nobody would be laughing. Am I being over sensitive or is this an issue which society ought to address?

Oh and as it's the season cheer - Merry Christmas!

OP posts:
meeeemo · 24/12/2013 20:42

Hmm Confused

merryxmasyafilthyanimal · 24/12/2013 20:46

YANBU. Awful film. Not funny. Absolutely would not be acceptable if the sexes were reversed.

BabstheChicken · 24/12/2013 20:46

meeeemo sorry, I was worried this topic would get such a response. I'm only asking because a lot of people I know would tell me to 'calm down' because 'that sort of thing doesn't really happen', but I struggle with that viewpoint because surely it seems like common sense that everyone should be treated equally with such an issue, regardless of gender?

OP posts:
MrsDeVere · 24/12/2013 20:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

phantomnamechanger · 24/12/2013 20:57

Mrs DV- hear hear just not funny either way round.

soontobeburns · 24/12/2013 22:05

Not funny iRL but it is a great movie. I dont think its supposed to be funny persay but to highlight thats his friends think he should be happy etc but that it does bother and harass him to the point where he wants her dead.

Surely it shows that even if a sexy woman does such a thing it can still be abuse amd unwanted.

Caitlin17 · 24/12/2013 22:11

I've never heard any rape jokes that were funny. Jimmy Carr's attempts at humour on this subject are disgraceful.

BabstheChicken · 24/12/2013 22:23

soontobeburns I can see your argument, and think you may be right with regard to the script writers' intentions, but I'm not sure that that comes across obviously enough as the humour is drawn from the fact that the guy feels uncomfortable with his boss' behaviour, which seems to imply that 'as a man' he should obviously be enjoying it IYSWIM?

OP posts:
rookietherednosedreindeer · 24/12/2013 22:23

Hear hear OP. I started watching it and felt so deeply uncomfortable about the Jennifer Aniston scenes that I had to stop watching - glad I didn't go to the cinema to see it.

needaholidaynow · 25/12/2013 00:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheBigJessie · 25/12/2013 00:33

YANBU

Rape and sexual harassment are not funny.

MrsDeVere · 25/12/2013 11:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lazysuzanne · 25/12/2013 12:15

Soontobe, I'm a bit confused by your post, what is a persay?

Andrewofgg · 25/12/2013 12:19

MrsDeVere That some of my gender (and a few of yours) react as you say does not make rape by anybody of anybody less of an unfunny subject.

Wellthen · 25/12/2013 12:21

I think the film does show that its a serious thing. His friends act all 'your boss wants to shag you, so what!' but the character himself is very uncomfortable and under pressure. Yes the extent of the sexual harassment is a bit ridiculous but I don't agree that it trivialises it - the message is that it is wrong and just as unpleasant for men as for women.

MrsDeVere · 25/12/2013 12:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BoneyBackJefferson · 25/12/2013 12:34

Jokes about male rape are not worse or less worse. Rape is rape.

Just this, no more needs to be said

MrsDeVere · 25/12/2013 12:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lazysuzanne · 25/12/2013 12:49

Any joke is surely based on the stereotype of the always up for it man who never turns down a sexual opportunity.

Also the incorrect idea that a man cannot be threatened or intimidated by a woman.

Not seen the film, and I wouldn't find that funny, infact I'm often offended by that kind of thing.

TheDoctrineOfSanta · 25/12/2013 12:59

YANBU.

Elizabeththefirst · 25/12/2013 13:05

Oh god, absolutely.

Slight tangent but there was a thread on here about a man who had committed some horrific crimes.

There followed some comments, 'lets see what happens to him when he bends down in the shower in prison tonight'

Now that particular example is complicated as the criminal in question had committed some awful sexually violent crimes himself.

BUT I just don't think that sentiment should be acceptable. Would we say it about a woman criminal? 'I hope the guards rape her'?

Lazysuzanne · 25/12/2013 13:16

Eliza, I see your point but I suspect a woman who'd committed crimes of sexual violence would be viewed in a similar way, ie that sexual assault in prison would be what she deserved?

(I'm not saying it is what either gender would deserve)

TheBigJessie · 25/12/2013 13:23

lazysuzanne I think soontobe did a typo for per se.

Rachelx92 · 25/12/2013 13:26

I don't find them parts funny and think there'd be complete uproar if it were vice versa

TheDoctrineOfSanta · 25/12/2013 13:31

Rachel, is there complete uproar when men joke in films about getting women drunk in order to have sexy with them?

How about The 40 Year Old Virgin, when the main character went home with a drunk woman, his buddies came to rescue him and the joke was that she'd be too drunk to notice if one of the buddies "stepped in"?