AIBU to find humour on male rape uncomfortable?

[BabstheChicken]

Hi everyone,

First time posting, on a relatively random topic. I'm watching the film 'Horrible Bosses' and thought I'd canvas some opinions.

The film is fairly funny, but some of the humour makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. There is one man whose female boss sexually harasses him, and even goes as far as taking pictures of them in sexual positions together which she threatens to use to blackmail him. I'm just very aware that, if the genders were reversed, nobody would be laughing. Am I being over sensitive or is this an issue which society ought to address?

Oh and as it's the season cheer - Merry Christmas!

[BabstheChicken]

lollerskates I'm well aware of the points you've made as I'm currently writing a thesis on how gynaecology can be seen as a manifestation of patriarchal power. Even if I wasn't doing that, I know enough about biology to realise that men can't get pregnant. Please don't use belittling phrases like 'handmaid's agenda' - you clearly prescribe to a more radical line of feminism than me, and one which I personally don't agree with, but I'm not going to insult you over it because your opinion is yours to have. It would be nice if you could show the same courtesy when getting involved in a debate.

[womblesofwestminster]

Can women rape men?

[akachan]

Rape is a legal term womble. Women cannot rape men in this (uk) jurisdiction because its defined as penetration with a penis.

[BabstheChicken]

womblesofwestminster OED online definition: 'the crime, typically committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with the offender against their will.' So yes.

[lollerskates]

I genuinely see no reason at all to extend any courtesy to a woman who wrings her hands and bleats about the perceived theoretical discomfort of a privileged group while failing to acknowledge the real, lifelong, constant, irreversible abuse and attempted destruction of another group. Huge lol at you self identifying as a feminist though.

[womblesofwestminster]

BabstheChicken That doesn't say women rape.

[BabstheChicken]

lollerskates it's Christmas! I'm sure there are plenty of leftovers lying around, so I'm not going to feed a troll. But. Lastly, I really don't think it's your place to tell me whether or not I'm a feminist, but thanks for your concern.

womblesofwestminster 'typically committed by a man' would imply that it can be committed by women, albeit not very often, no?

[womblesofwestminster]

An animal perhaps?

Let's look at the actual law:

The offence is created by section 1 of the Sexual Offences Act 2003:
“ 1-(1) A person (A) commits an offence if—
(a) he intentionally penetrates the vagina, anus or mouth of another person (B) with his penis,
(b) B does not consent to the penetration, and
(c) A does not reasonably believe that B consents.

= women can't rape. Thi thread make zero sense.

[BabstheChicken]

womblesofwestminster regardless of whether our judicial system has evolved to recognise rape committed by women, I think that by a lexical definition, it can happen. The judicial argument is a weak one - rape of women used to be seen as an act of theft against her male kin, rather than an offence against the female victim, but this is obviously not right. Do you really think it is impossible for a woman to rape a man?

The thread does make sense because I'm asking what people think about the humorous treatment of rape committed against men in films, not the technicalities of whether or not said rape actually exists. You're the one who has asked whether the rape of a man is possible, whilst the humorous treatment of the topic (ie: the topic I'm actually asking about) clearly is.

[Lazysuzanne]

Obviously if rape is defined as an act that can only be perpetrated by a person with a penis then a woman cant rape a man, but a woman can sexually assault a man.

Perhaps it would have been more appropriate for the op to have used the phrase 'sexual assault against men' in place of 'male rape'
(although that would make the title even more ungrammatical than it already is)

[Blistory]

Men being raped isn't funny.
Men being sexually assaulted isn't funny.

But you've picked a film where the man isn't raped. And ignored the fact that women can't rape men under UK law.

[Blistory]

UK law recognises that the insertion of a penis into an unwilling body is rape. It's not backwards or unevolved to recognise that this particular act is gendered so no, I don't think the law is wrong to recognise the act of penetration as something unique in terms of the level of assault and to define other assaults as a different offence.

Hence women cannot rape but by having sex with an unwilling man, they are guilty of sexual assault but it isn't rape.

[womblesofwestminster]

you've picked a film where the man isn't raped. And ignored the fact that women can't rape men under UK law.

This.

[BabstheChicken]

blistory the film is ambiguous, the pictures are meant to make the guy's partner think that he is having sex with this other woman. I'm not particularly concerned with the isolated film, but with the idea of the rape/sexual assault of men being humorous. I'm not suggesting that violence against women isn't widespread, I just don't think the topic of violence perpetrated by one sex against another needs to be confined to one specific dynamic. I also feel although this thread has lost sight of the wood for the trees, because my focus was on whether the humour surrounding this topic, which in turn suggests that men are inherently sex obsessed whilst women are weak, is an insidious feature if society which ought to be addressed. So for those wanting to discuss whether men can be raped, whether it matters or whether it is the judicial or lexical definition which matters, please bother to create your own threads.

[BabstheChicken]

• grr at various typos, stupid iPhone

[womblesofwestminster]

Of course penetration matters!! This is not a pedantic point we're talking about.

[mayorquimby]

Well tbh I'd think most people on here know what the OP was originally getting at.
The common idea that non-consensual sex = rape.
I know that this is not what English law recognises but I think it's clear that the OP was trying to debate what she believed to be a light-hearted or comical view of a serious sexual assault. Now obviously they have used the term rape incorrectly but I do think it's being a little obtuse to use that as the reason to dismiss the opinion put forward.

By all means there's many other valid reasons to disagree, I just don't think that the same people who have been quoting the legal definition of rape would accept a similar argument if for example a movie treating the "rape" of a woman in Canada as humourus was complained about on here and posters responded with "well legally there's no such thing as rape in Canada so you're thread is a nonsense."

[PresidentServalan]

I like the film - it is only a film, not an endorsement of rape of any kind. Any show or movie can be picked apart and stereotypes found - if you don't like it, don't watch it. Personally I hate ads where men are portrayed as morons who need the women to sort their lives out, but it isn't worth getting het up about.

lollerskates Whilst men can potentially force pregnancy on a woman, she is the one who can choose whether or not to go ahead with the pregnancy.

[PresidentServalan]

And lollerskates I really think you are overstating it - you make it sound like all women are victims of men, which simply isn't the case. And whilst I respect that this may be your opinion, this is why I would never identify as a feminist.