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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to see my partner on Christmas day ??

69 replies

nosnowagain · 24/12/2013 10:00

Me & 'D'P don't live together , I have one Ds .

I have been asking him to come round for a few hours Christmas morning which is not unreasonable as he has been working all week so not seen him .
He kept saying it depends what his mum is doing, he is 30 and does not live at home .

I just had a text from him saying that his Grandad has been given 24 hours to live , he was fine yesterday so I'm struggling to believe him as it just seems like he has his excuse not to come round as his mum wants him to herself because they are having a family Christmas etc Xmas Hmm

We have been together 2 years .

Its not like his mum lives miles away from me as its only a 20 minute walk .
Apparently im a bitch , tbh i havent a clue

OP posts:
JinglingRexManningDay · 24/12/2013 10:02

Has he form for lying? Anything could have happened to his grandad,stroke,fall,heart attack etc etc.

Trills · 24/12/2013 10:04

So you are seeing someone who, when they say "my grandad has 24 hours to live", you think they are lying?

Why would you want to be with someone who you trust that little?

Original poster
nosnowagain · 24/12/2013 10:09

I sound horrid

He has form for telling what he thinks are white lies which is why I'm struggling to believe him .
Also he was pretty determined that he had to spend every second of Christmas with his mum

OP posts:
WhoNickedMyName · 24/12/2013 10:11

He says his grandad has 24 hours to live and you think he's lying?

One of you should get rid of the other but I'm not sure which.

I can't imagine thinking so little of my DP that I'd believe he was lying about a close family member dying.

Why do you want to be with him if you honestly think he's capable of that?

Faverolles · 24/12/2013 10:12

If you don't trust him, don't be with h

HellonHeels · 24/12/2013 10:12

Are you sure he's not spending Christmas with his wife and family?

If not then I think it's really rather odd that he's not spending at least part of Christmas Day with you, or that you are not invited to his family Christmas. Is it quite a casual relationship?

JinglingRexManningDay · 24/12/2013 10:12

Saying his grandad is dying is not a white lie though.

If he wants to spend Christmas with his family that's his prerogative, I assume he isn't Ds dad?

Original poster
nosnowagain · 24/12/2013 10:13

Definitely does not have a wife .

Not a casual relationship as we plan on moving in together soon

OP posts:
Faverolles · 24/12/2013 10:14

Sorry
If you trust him so little, I would split up.
I have no idea who is BU, as his grandad could well be very ill.
Either way, ill grandad or not, you don't sound like a couple, so I'd cut my losses and break up.

Original poster
nosnowagain · 24/12/2013 10:14

No he isn't Ds dad .

I thought me and ds were his family as well

OP posts:
HellonHeels · 24/12/2013 10:16

Well if you move in together, what will happen about Christmas next year? Or his birthday? Will he trot off to his mum again and leave you on your own?

This doesn't sound like a good basis for setting up house together.

MissBattleaxe · 24/12/2013 10:16

Don't move in with him.

After two years he can't even spare you an hour on Christmas day. He says his grandfather is dying and because he has lied so often in the past you don't know if this is true?

Do you really think you should let him move in? You do know there is more than one man out there. don't you? He's not the last man on the planet or anything.

Maybe83 · 24/12/2013 10:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Faverolles · 24/12/2013 10:17

X-post.
Do you really want to move in with him?

Either he doesn't think enough of you to spend time with you on Christmas Day, or you don't think enough of him to believe his grandad is dying.
Save yourself the hassle of the inevitable acrimonious split and don't bother.

NurseRoscoe · 24/12/2013 10:17

For god sake give him the benefit of the doubt! If it turns out he is telling the truth, you WILL look like a bitch!

If it turns out he is lying, you will have a reason to be fuming at him as that is a horrible lie. But cross that bridge if and when you come to it.

For now I would apologise, just say you were disappointed because you wanted to see him and could you perhaps spend Boxing Day together? Christmas Day isn't the be all and end all, when we were little we opened all our presents from our parents Boxing Day as we were at our grandparents Christmas Day

JinglingRexManningDay · 24/12/2013 10:17

You don't live together,you don't have children together and/or you're not married so no you're not a family. He is your boyfriend,your Ds and you are a family.

LaurieFairyCake · 24/12/2013 10:18

Why haven't you been invited round when you're planning on moving in together? Confused

If you don't trust him you don't move in.

Definitely not a white lie, it's a shocking lie if not true.

doasyouwouldbedoneby · 24/12/2013 10:18

He's just not that into you--sorry.
Move on and find someone who wants to spend time with you. He tells lies--Red Flag , white or not. There is not trust.

Original poster
nosnowagain · 24/12/2013 10:25

Ok so his grandad may have 24 hours to live , but he was so bloody determined to spend Christmas with his family which is why I'm questioning it

OP posts:
AnuvvaMuvva · 24/12/2013 10:28

The only thing is to ask yourself is - would you rather be with someone who wanted to spend Xmas with you? If you would, then this bloke is not right for you.

mrsjay · 24/12/2013 10:28

I would be asking why you were not invited to his mums were you invited you are moving in with a man who lies to you and won't spend any time with you or have you with his family at Christmas he sounds like a casual boyfriend and not somebody who is that comitted to you sorry I know i am being harsh, you need to look at how this relationship is going

WhoNickedMyName · 24/12/2013 10:28

Ok so put the grandad issue aside.

He doesn't want to spend any time with you on Christmas Day.

What does that tell you?

Gossipmonster · 24/12/2013 10:33

OH and I would do anything to spend Christmas together unfortunately we can't because he is in the Navy.

OP life is too short for this bollocks. Move on.

melonribena · 24/12/2013 10:36

Why are you a bitch? He sounds very evasive

Original poster
nosnowagain · 24/12/2013 10:43

For not believing him .

Wish it was easy to just walk away

OP posts: