Dsis charging for Christmas dinner.

[MercuryRising]

Hi.
We are going to my dsis for Christmas dinner this year. This is the first year she has hosted.
In previous years my dmum or I have hosted and on these years have footed the bill except if somebody has offered to bring alcohol or puddings with them. I have just had a text from my dsis telling me that she has worked out the bill and it is £16 per head so I need to pay £64 for me, dp and 2dc (5 and 7). Now I do not consider myself to be tight but feel angered about the way this has been done because it really does feel that she is charging her own dniece and dnephew to eat. Aibu to feel rattled by this?

Mercury I can't believe your posted our family all over mumsnet

Only joking cheeky mare. Family meal at home. Get yourself to Sainsburys!

She shouldn't have offered to host if she couldn't afford it. Don't go. What a crazy cow!

Agree you just shouldn't go. Nip out now get dinner in and enjoy. :)

I think you'd enjoy a family meal at home more than going there... perhaps turn up at 4pm afterwards to 'see the family' ?

I'd tell her that you've popped to the supermarket as its cheaper and that you are staying home. Cheeky beyond belief to charge family to eat.

what are you gonna do?!!

Please make a note of her amount, take 16 for alle the years she has eaten at yours, deduct from her bill and give her the remaining amount if there is any. Let her see the logic so she does not say anything, but give it to her before you leave.

I take it she won't be invited go yours next year?

What a cow.....

Omg, I can't believe she had the nerve todo this. Please let us know what she says when DH calls.

And, whatever you do, please don't pay.

Yes if you can get food in stay home. Maybe invite your dad?

She earns about double our household income.

Wow! I thought she might have the "eating or heating" problem....

She sounds tight. I would be very pissed off!

Also we all chip in but it's pre arranged so mum provides the turkey, skint brother the crackers, sister the veg, me the pud. We all bring a bottle too

I would take this opportunity to not go.

If you do pay and go- and I don't think you should- you could all have a lot of fun get your money's worth.
Every time she passes you something ask 'is this included?','if I pay extra can I have an extra sausage', if you take wine,'is there a corkage fee?'
And obviously no washing up!

She sounds like my sister, very entitled.

My mum and dad don't have much money but she hosts every year, I provide pork (for Xmas eve and the day), crackers, all the extras (pigs in blankets, stuffing etc) ans some booze. My sis and bil (no kids, good jobs) bring a bottle of cava. I've moaned at her this year that it isn't fair on mum/dad so she's upped it to 2 bottles.... Perhaps my mum should start charging her ....

Good on your dh, she's a mean spirited old crone and I hope he tells her!

There are six of us. This year for Christmas, there are four extras, so ten altogether. One foster dd, one girlfriend of ds and two friends of ds1. I will provide food, drink and a present under the tree so that they don't have to twiddle their thumbs whilst others open their stuff. I wouldn't dream of charging anybody, I have been alone at Christmas and it's bloody miserable.

Really can't believe this! In absolute shock. It's Christmas and you are family! Some of my friends are splitting the cost this year, but they sat down a couple of weeks ago and worked out who would bring what!
And the amount of money she's charging is ridiculous.

I've spent roughly £250 over the past 2 weeks and that includes the usual weekly shop plus the Christmas/Boxing Day/New Year roasts, nibbles, cooked breakfasts and alcohol. That's for a family of 4 plus 2 adults at each main meal and 4 guests each night.
If you do go ask for an itemized bill.

I simply wouldn't go!

Looks like a rare unanimous YANBU to me.

This is unbelievable. Tell her this, tell her that she will be remembered through history as the aunty that made us all pay for Christmas dinner. If she doesn't waive the fee, get to the shops now and sort out your own. There is plenty of food left in the shops. Ask others to bring drinks.

If it's not too late I would text:

I am so sorry, didn't realise you were having financial difficulties, would you like me to pick up some crackers as well?"

You're doing absolutely the right thing. She's unbelievable. I've hosted Christmas for 23 years - between 6 and 10 most years and wouldn't dream of asking for a penny. Usually have MIL for all of Christmas week too. For the three main days I reckon I spend between £350.

If you get out sharpish you will still get a small turkey for about £24, pudding for £6ish, creams, gravy, bread sauce and all the trimmings for about another £25.00 - chuck in some wine and a bottle of what you fancy and you probably can't do it all for less than £64 (just remembered crackers) but you will have leftovers for boxing day so make sure you have salad, chips and pickles to go with the cold turkey.

What a misery.

Hello dawndonna - happy Christmas; look we've moved :)

YES to the update OP.

And btw if you do end up going, and paying - do not lift a finger to clean up, demand waitress service, and complain several times about your cut of meat/gravy/drink refill. I worked Christmas Day in a restaurant for many years and this wouldn't be unusual behaviour!

Hope your DP has more luck. Seriously, bring out a back dated bill for her share of the last x Christmases you have hosted. It will drive home the point.

Even if your sister has completely overspent or lives on credit, there are better ways to handle such a last minute request. It doesn't include charging children

Wow. I think everyone else has pretty much covered it.

We go to my mums every year as they like to host. One year I bought all the alcohol, desserts and appetisers and soft drinks. The other years I have given her money towards it - not from her asking.

There is 5 of them and 3 of us. We are there constantly over Xmas and they will probably feed us 6-7 times plus give us stuff to takeaway plus they do all the Xmas cooking.

Me and mum did the shop together yesterday that covers all the food for8 of us until new year and it was £200 so I gave her £100. She didn't like it but I made her. This is how u deal with the situation in a fair way.

Only an insane arsehole sends a bill!!!