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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dsis charging for Christmas dinner.

362 replies

MercuryRising · 24/12/2013 02:11

Hi.
We are going to my dsis for Christmas dinner this year. This is the first year she has hosted.
In previous years my dmum or I have hosted and on these years have footed the bill except if somebody has offered to bring alcohol or puddings with them. I have just had a text from my dsis telling me that she has worked out the bill and it is £16 per head so I need to pay £64 for me, dp and 2dc (5 and 7). Now I do not consider myself to be tight but feel angered about the way this has been done because it really does feel that she is charging her own dniece and dnephew to eat. Aibu to feel rattled by this?

OP posts:
PedantMarina · 26/12/2013 23:38

Yes! Mellowandfruitful have a certain element to it: the "family committee" element of things. This is something that has probably fallen by the wayside.

But, yes, I see that part of the issue must be that OP (presumably older, but definitely "further along on the road of life" (already having two DCs) and her&DSIS' mum having done one thing, but DSIS (new to hosting) deciding to unilaterally change the dynamic.

And (read the posts from yesterday/Christmas Eve) STILL NOT getting wht she's doing wrong.

OP Please save me from having to do mental arithmetic at near-midnight on Boxing Day - what was the re-jigged total for the remainder of the DSIS dinner guests?...

Mintyy · 27/12/2013 00:02

Heh heh Boffy Grin. Dessert from Paris was the stand-out comment on this thread for me too.

Op I hope you had a lovely Christmas.

One of my favourite ever aibus was a Christmas thread posted by someone in your sil's position. She was the host and she was wanting to charge everyone, including her new inlaws, for Christmas lunch. It was a long-running thread which I look back on with much affection.

horsetowater · 27/12/2013 00:28

Pedant that reminds me when db's new partner decided we should all do a 'secret santa' type lotto thing and pulled names out of a hat to see who buys what for whom. The idea was to 'save time' and make sure we all get something we 'really want'. Never worked. Give me a pile of useless tat any day over one agonizingly planned and thought out but slightly wrong expensive present.

Christmas is about ritual not practical. And it really should never be about money and cost. That's the part we don't want to know about or talk about.

Snowdown · 27/12/2013 00:42

I thought the Ops mum had passed away and now the daughters take turns hosting Christmas for their Dad/sibling.

Mellowandfruitful · 27/12/2013 01:01

Mintyy I remember that one! I think we need a Christmas Classics section (or a Christmas section within Classics?) for that sort of thing. I'd enjoy browsing it this time of year.

AlaskaNebraska · 27/12/2013 01:12

In just lolling at the op earnestly putting d in front of every family member. You can just say "dad"

MrsLouisTheroux · 27/12/2013 01:27

I would love to see the itemised bill. £16 p head including DC. Plus extra for drink? Did she buy a new dining room table for you all to sit at?

NearTheWindmill · 27/12/2013 07:54

Just working out what I spent on Xmas dinner:

Turkey £34, Stuffing £5, pigs £5, cranberry £2, sprouts £1.50, green beans, £3, parsnips £1 spuds £1.25, bread sauce £1.50 (home-made), sage £1, 1 onion 35p, sherrry for gravy £1.50, Christmas Pud £6, nice creams £5, luxury chocolate log £10. That comes to £77.10 - add crackers £10, jolly cloth and napkins another £7.50 ish £95.50 add two good bottles of wine and that takes it to £117.50 - oh and £1.50 for the brandy to flame the pudding and that's £119.00. As there were six of us that worked at just under £20.00 per head. Although I reckon we could easily have served another four.

But we got another dinner for six off the same turkey yesterday with roasties and salads and pickle and will be having turkey and ham pie today.

I thought her £16 was a lot but quite interesting to cost it like that and I wouldn't have said what I bought was over the top but she was still very wrong.

PedantMarina · 14/01/2014 10:37

Now that the dust has settled and ]almost everybody's] deccies are down, does OP want to de-brief? How did it all go? Any fall-out? Etc.

WillBeatJanuaryBlues · 14/01/2014 10:41

nooo I missed this thread, what a cracker....

OP putting up and shutting up so as not to ruin the day is only enabling this sort of outrageous behaviour, you are not doing anyone any favours and I would have not put up with it and said something. I know its long gone and you wont care but I had to comment...

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered · 14/01/2014 14:38

Well, not just the thread you missed WillBeat Grin

OP didn't go to the dinner with her sis so didn't pay anything.

Their dad went and got charged the £16!!!

whiteblossom · 14/01/2014 16:33

Oh yes op any update, Im shocked she charged her own dad for a dinner...at Christmas!!

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