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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dsis charging for Christmas dinner.

362 replies

MercuryRising · 24/12/2013 02:11

Hi.
We are going to my dsis for Christmas dinner this year. This is the first year she has hosted.
In previous years my dmum or I have hosted and on these years have footed the bill except if somebody has offered to bring alcohol or puddings with them. I have just had a text from my dsis telling me that she has worked out the bill and it is £16 per head so I need to pay £64 for me, dp and 2dc (5 and 7). Now I do not consider myself to be tight but feel angered about the way this has been done because it really does feel that she is charging her own dniece and dnephew to eat. Aibu to feel rattled by this?

OP posts:
FortyDoorsToNowhere · 24/12/2013 17:23

I'm glad you turned her down and now spending it at home.

fancyanotherfez · 24/12/2013 17:25

Yes rather than be fuming and resentful you'll have a lovely time just you and the kids. Merry Christmas!

pumpkinsweetie · 24/12/2013 17:26

Merry Xmas, glad you sorted it amd are having christmas at home. Probably cheaper too!

Pimpf · 24/12/2013 17:43

Well done mercury, good for you for standing up to her, don't let anyone talk you into apologising to her, explain that you have swallowed the cost in previous years and if she's that. Hard up she should have discussed it with you first. Stand firm, you can do it

QuintessentialShadows · 24/12/2013 20:30

Did you point out that you have never charged her when you were hosting?

TheDoctrineOfSanta · 24/12/2013 20:55

Well done OP.

poorbuthappy · 24/12/2013 21:19

So do we have a thread crossover?

HyvaPaiva · 24/12/2013 21:32

BOF Grin j'ai esclaffé aussi

bishbashboosh · 24/12/2013 21:36

Really I have never heard anything so disgusting in my lifeHmm

BlackDaisies · 24/12/2013 21:44

I love that you've decided to stay home. Good for you! What did your dad decide to do in the end? Hope you have a great day Grin

MadAsFish · 24/12/2013 21:59

SNORT @ "dessert from Paris". Because that is so different from dessert from Wolverhampton

Dunno. Do they have Lenôtre or Dalloyau in Wolverhampton?

BitOfFunWithSanta · 24/12/2013 22:01

I've no idea. But I bet they are lower on braggy ponces.

MadAsFish · 24/12/2013 22:04

Nice chip.

foreverondiet · 24/12/2013 22:07

Totally rude to first mention it at this point. Was she asked to host or did she offer? Yes it's expensive to host but you shouldn't offer unless you can afford it - and even then otherwise it should all be discussed well in advance so people can decide if they want to come or not.

I would probably respond with - "gosh wasn't expecting to contribute but if you insist I will, although £16 per child is totally excessive so please recalculate in a fairer way".

Fwiw I went to stay with my sister last year, it was for a week (she is abroad) and I transferred £250 into her bank account. She didn't ask though but expensive to fed family of 5 for a week including festive season.

passedgo · 25/12/2013 02:25

Misformumnotmaid - we just had a christmas eve family do, we all brought something, no money changed hands, it just worked out. We know roughly how many people will be there, we bring a few dishes of the right quantity, I probably spent about £20, db probably about the same and some guests brought a few quids worth of cheese or whatever. There was enough to feed 15 people. No money has ever changed hands in our family, families just do the right thing - if they have to work out contracts and agreements then they're not really families imo.

Asking soeone to pay £70 sounds completely unnecessary but to ask this of your family is just bizarre. I really don't get it.

Anniegetyourgun · 25/12/2013 14:48

My sister (who is currently brassic but emphatically NOT mean) is reading this over my shoulder looking like this Shock. She has asked me to point out that it may be a ruse to ensure SIL is never asked to host a family event again. Unwanted side effect or cunning plan? Who knows...

ShinyBauble · 25/12/2013 16:39

Wow! How did she justify charging when nobody else does? I would have been tempted to ask in a very sympathetic tone if she was having money troubles. If she likes to lord it over you she would hate that!

But I hope you're having a great Christmas at home!

Original poster
MercuryRising · 25/12/2013 20:41

Hello lovely mners just to let you know we had a fantastic day. Dad came for breakfast and the went to dsis for dinner. Hope you all had a brilliant day. Thank you all for your support.

OP posts:
Snowdown · 25/12/2013 20:56
Xmas Smile
Sadoldbag · 25/12/2013 21:05

Reminds me of a birthday party my sister invited my son to then on the day told me I would be paying the price of the team park and the meal after and dropping and picking up AT the theme park

It's not the charging that op is pissed with it's not being up front until it's almost to late I am sure op would have helped out in terms of bring a few dishes but I find this way of doing thing slightly underhand

GimmeDaBoobehz · 25/12/2013 21:09

Wow, she has some nerve hasn't she.

You and your Mum have hosted in previous years and asked for nothing which is the spirit of Christmas, especially when you are a family. But then she wants money from you even though you have never charged her.

Some people's rudeness shocks me, although it really shouldn't.

Let us know how it went, OP.

GimmeDaBoobehz · 25/12/2013 21:10

Oops sorry, didn't see the update.

Glad you had a good day, been a right nerve though!

pigletmania · 25/12/2013 21:34

Did she charge you though!

Mimishimi · 25/12/2013 21:47

Did she offer to host Christmas this year? Maybe charging everyone was her plan all along to make a bit of extra cash! Normal people struggling with the cost of hosting would ask everyone else to bring a plate of food. Good on you for deciding not to go.

RealAleandOpenFires · 25/12/2013 22:42

I think I can now safely say I have seen it all!

Not unless, the place settings have a "money grabbing poem" in naice handwriting, of course Wink on them.