Dsis charging for Christmas dinner.

[MercuryRising]

Hi.
We are going to my dsis for Christmas dinner this year. This is the first year she has hosted.
In previous years my dmum or I have hosted and on these years have footed the bill except if somebody has offered to bring alcohol or puddings with them. I have just had a text from my dsis telling me that she has worked out the bill and it is £16 per head so I need to pay £64 for me, dp and 2dc (5 and 7). Now I do not consider myself to be tight but feel angered about the way this has been done because it really does feel that she is charging her own dniece and dnephew to eat. Aibu to feel rattled by this?

That's utterly shocking! Disgraceful! Tell her to do one, I don't think I could sit through dinner with someone that mean!

Marking place for update!

Good luck with the last minute Christmas Dinner shop OP.

This is all just odd. For me the crux of the entire issue is the fact that other family members have hosted before and not asked to share the cost. With that as a fact, I really struggle to imagine any conversations she might have that might sound reasonable to her, I just can't imagine what in earth she'd say to justify it, her angle, if you will.

Do you think her DH is driving this?

shameless place-marking

Can you detail the conversation for us nosy types?!

Well done for telling her.

I wonder if everyone else will now have to pay £24 a head?

Come back OP!

So glad you have cancelled on her. But come on we need more details!

OP, i hope your ok i know that family arguments can leave you feeling upset.

that is appalling. Is she short of cash. I would be outraged and wouldn't go. How mean!

I admit to being curious about how the conversation went.

Did you point out that she hadn't had to pay in previous years? How did she take that?

£16 per head is totally TOTALLY insane!

DP & I are cooking Christmas dinner for 20 adults tonight (+2 babies)
We have good quality meat (Costco chickens and beef, sausages and bacon) I am also making a nutroast, we are having all the trimmings.

We discussed cooking a meal with our friends rather than spent £60 odd each on a meal then a pub have said to our friends BYO drinks (some Muslims, some under age, some TTotal.) DP and I costed it up to within 6 inches of it's life. We are in a large hall with a two ovens in the kitchen (thank God) and making everything from scratch. Our friends have contributed £7.50
YES £7.50 each. (Babies don't pay!)
That's 2 courses.
The excess (I think we may have an additional £20) is being donated to whichever charity we select tonight. Everyone's offered left overs.

Of course I'm a leeeeeeetle bit smug
But my point is, i am in London and can feed 20 for £7.50 a head serving 2 meats, a vegan option, sausage meat stuffing and pigs in blankets.

Your sister is having you on.

Ribena, stop it before i track you down and join you

And £16 doesn't include drinks!

Well it's made me work out what I have spent. It works out including drinks at £9.76 per head for a 4 course meal! Not bad really.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/1947285-Just-had-a-text-from-SIL-to-say-they-are-not-coming-for-Christmas-dinner-tomorrow

I am sure it is not the same people but it did make me wonder!

Ta Blue......

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/1947285-Just-had-a-text-from-SIL-to-say-they-are-not-coming-for-Christmas-dinner-tomorrow here?]]

HERE

The cost sounds reasonable, for the meal itself. meat/poultry prices are high this year. Charging for the meal is really very unfair -it turns hospitality into catering.

Marking place. In our family we share it. Im getting cheese and cake and crackers. X

You're so much stronger than me. I wish we were hosting at home, we've forked out £70 to my DSis who is by no means poor and is realising the cost of hosting as this is the first time she's done it. I've done christmas and Easter and given up my bed for family just about every year for the last 9. I've scrimped and saved to create lovely family events and even though my budget has been far less than anyone elses I've never dreamed of asking for a contribution. I've got up with her DC through the night and in the am so she can lie in. I've changed nappies, clothes, done the baths etc etc.

I'm really quite offended but don't want to stew over Christmas about whether to pay so paid up already. It is nigling though. That money wasn't budgeted for because she offered to host this year.

She also wants me to bring dessert, which I've baked, wine and coke. All the kids presents are already at her house. Lots of tongue bitting will be needed and hopefully as soon as we're all together I'll get into the spirit and enjoy being with the wider family.

I am back but haven't caught up with all that has been said as I am massively behind with Christmas Eve cleaning. I managed to get everything so all is good. Dbro thinks I should have got him to negotiate to stop the situation getting out of control.
Have not heard anymore from dsis except for her to say if I had explained she would have recalculated the cost amongst the adults, but when I explained this was exactly what dp had tried to do she did not reply to the point. I have ranted at dsil and bf and feel much better now, there have been tears but I am ready to enjoy Christmas now. Thank you once again lovely mners for making me feel better. Obviously if there are any more plot twists I will let you know. Merry Christmas