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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to tell him he must wear the wig?

57 replies

MichaelaS · 22/12/2013 14:24

Orlando Bloom that is. When he realises what he's been missing and turns up on my doorstep sometime when my DH and kids are convieniently away for a few days?

You see I had a bit of a thing for him, starting with the whole Legolas LotR thing, which has all come back to mind since I saw The Hobbit 2 last week. So I was having a look around the internet (which is a perfectly normal thing to do and not stalkerish At All) and found a YouTube thing of him appearing on Graham Norton which was the first time I've seen him on camera whilst not playing a role. And I realised that actually he looks a bit like an old ex boyfriend from my uni days. (Back off ladies, he is actually a woman now,and that's a whole other story. Suffice it to say there is a very thin line between liking the effeminate ones and the actually female ones).

So now I've spotted that I think it would be a bit off putting, and would like Mr Bloom to pop that long blonde wig non beforehand coming over. I wouldn't make him wear the ears. And I wouldn't turn him away or anything.

AIBU?

And if so, WIBU to insist that when the other Mr Bloom brings his hat and leaves his talking veggies in the garden?

OP posts:
TheWitTank · 22/12/2013 14:26

YADNBU. I would insist that Hugh Jackman come (smirk) as Wolverine. Topless, with the hair and what not. Yum.

Binkyridesagain · 22/12/2013 14:28

I feel the same way about Aragon. YANBU.

Hugh Jackman, is mine and he can wear anything he wants as long as it can be removed quickly.

TheWitTank · 22/12/2013 14:32

Also Russell Crowe-but only as Maximus in Gladiator. Not in any other way.

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange · 22/12/2013 14:32

Huge Action is actually mine. You're all weird. Definitely wearing the Wolverine hair.

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 22/12/2013 14:35

My dad apparently looked like Orlando Bloom. He died when I was 6 weeks old so I can't say for sure, but his photos bare a startling resemblance!

Which creeps me out because I've got a mega crush on our Orlando...

catgirl1976 · 22/12/2013 14:38

When Jonny Depp pops round to mine later I am insisting he comes as Captain Jack and must remain fully in character and costume at all times.

Binkyridesagain · 22/12/2013 14:40

Jonny Depp is mine as well, as Edward scissor hands, I would insist that he changes the blades though for something more ermmmm.... enjoyable.

Lovecat · 22/12/2013 14:40

YANBU at all but you will find he's been unavoidably delayed at mine while DH is locked in the cellar

I shall have to do something about DD too, because she announced last week that she is going to marry Legolas.... (good taste, oh daughter of mine, but you're far too young for him at nearly 9...)

Original poster
MichaelaS · 22/12/2013 14:48

Oh I'm so glad IANBU. Lovecat I'm sure we can be reasonable and share nicely. But I agree your daughter might be a bit too young to join the queue.

Jonny Depp as captain jack yes - actually sometimes my DH gets called captain jack (by strangers you know, not like at home alone or anything) (honest) (well not that he knows anyway). He has the beard and hair, but sadly not the costume.

I know, I should be grateful, yes? Grass always greener and all that. There is just something about an elf. Or a gardener who cam keep the kids quiet and out of the house for a few hours.

OP posts:
AlpacaPicnic · 22/12/2013 14:51

Yanbu - I am making the same demands of Alan Rickman and his Professor Snape outfit...

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 22/12/2013 14:55

Yanbu. And agree totally re Captain Jack - can't fancy JD in anything else. Dp dressed up as him once, wig and all, and I wanted to throw myself on him all day (he's actually bald).

Original poster
MichaelaS · 22/12/2013 15:18

Oh there's definitely something about a man with long hair, yes yes. I could bore you all with my made up pseudo-science about why its a sign of health / good protein intake / general virility, but instead I shall just nod to your Jack Sparrow and raise you a Khal Drogo.

Mmmmh.

It's the horses too I think. Long hair and riding about on horses in the middle of nowhere.

It's all perfect in my head until I feasible that I am actually a Middle Ages housewife doing the traditional bored fantasy stuff. And not Kira Knightly like I think I am. Damn.

OP posts:
Original poster
MichaelaS · 22/12/2013 15:19

Grr iPad. Feasible = realise

OP posts:
Original poster
MichaelaS · 22/12/2013 15:20

Aargh, and middle aged, not Middle Ages.

If I were a Middle Ages housewife I may not have a problem. Or perhaps I mean Middle Earth. sigh

OP posts:
HairyGrotter · 22/12/2013 15:23

Orlando Bloom looks very much like DD's father, he's a cunt, so Orlando does not make me bloom one bit.

Now, I'd ruin Johnny Depp as Sweeny Todd or Capt. Jack Sparrow or just as himself...

SMorgauseBordOfChristmasTat · 22/12/2013 15:32

YANBU. He has to wear it when he comes calling on me. And Johnny Depp has to arrive as Captain Sparrow. All perfectly normal.

prettypleasewithsugarontop · 22/12/2013 15:35

Drogo Blush mmmhmmm
Bradley Cooper in a suit
Thor in his get up

Blush Blush Blush

Original poster
MichaelaS · 22/12/2013 15:43

Ooh yes Thor too. Mmmmh.

Hey, do you think it's too late for mumsnet to arrange a festive raffle? You know, one with the sort of prizes we actually want to win. At least those of us on this thread. It would raise millions of pounds for worthy causes! HQ could lure them in with the promise of a nice cosy web chat. Then lock and bar the doors and draw the winning tickets...

My attention is drawn to the mumsnet ovulation calendar tool on the right of the page. I don't think I need a calculator this month...

OP posts:
FreudiansSlipper · 22/12/2013 15:53

John Malkovich is welcome at mine anytime ds is not here in his Dangerous Liaisons costume we can practice his method acting skills

LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 22/12/2013 15:58

Sadly The Very Secret Diaries of Legolas have rather ruined Orlando Bloom for me (do not google if you prefer to interpret Legolas as charmingly elegant and in touch with his feminine side but definitely hetrosexual) but Richard Armitige and Aiden Turner can always pop round to console me if they want. Obviously dressed to Kill as Thorain and Kili. They can fight over me if they want.

Salmotrutta · 22/12/2013 16:45

Yul Brynner looked very nice as a bald man.

He still looked nice with hair but, oh my goodness he looked very nice when bald.

Original poster
MichaelaS · 22/12/2013 16:47

Oh dear I shall avoid that particular bit of slash fanfic then.

Right, so in our raffle so far I have an evenings entertainment for the lucky winner with each of the following...

  1. Orlando Bloom most definitely WITH the wig
  2. Hugh Jackman costumed as wolverine
  3. Russell Crowe oiled up and barely dressed as the gladiator
  4. Viggo Mortensen as Aragorn
  5. Johnny Depp with ladies choice of Capt. Sparrow, Sweeny Todd or a slightly 'customised' Edward scissorhands
  6. Alan Rickman as Prof Snape
  7. Jason Momoa as Khal Drogo including horse and the whole desert yurt thing.
  8. Chris Hemsworth as Thor (optional hammer!)
  9. Bradley cooper
  10. John Malkovich in Dangerous Liasons attire

Tickets are a mere £10 each, the more you buy the higher your chances. I am counting on MNHQ to set it all up of course.

Right, just off to remortgage the house.... Xmas Wink

OP posts:
FeastOfPhteven · 22/12/2013 16:53

Can we also have Jason Bateman in the raffle ease? I've found myself strangely attracted to him and want to do bad things to him.

FeastOfPhteven · 22/12/2013 16:54

*please

Woofsaidtheladybird · 22/12/2013 17:30

I know this is a weird one, but Rowan Atkinson as Blackadder in the Elizabethan times...

... And Alan Rickman as Sheriff of Nottingham...